While, I have been dating and trying to find my soul mate and I bring up the topic that I'm a diabetic. The females turn around and drop me faster then snapping my fingers and turn away. Even the parents get involved and think that diabetics cannot have children and should not get married. I have had this problem while dating, has anyone else have this problem or am, I the only one.
I can't say I've had this problem. [I'm only fifteen!] But the thing is, if someone can't accept your diabetes, then they're not the right person for you. You'll find someone who accepts you and everything about you, don't worry. =]
good luck
I dunno why they would say that, especially to a male with diabetes. They used to say that women with diabetes shouldn't have children because of the risks of uncontrolled blood sugar on the mom and fetus, but now thats not even much of a problem. I'm sorry that women you have dated have felt that way, but they are wrong! Good luck in the future!
well thats kinda stuped i am only fifteen and i have not much of a problem with dating. you just have to find the right one for you. Just make sure that they are ok with diabetic.
My sister and I both have diabetes and are in loving, committed relationships. My sis just had a baby last year. There are going to be complications in any realtionship, but diabetes doesn't have to be one of them. You just have to find someone that is going to be understanding about mood swings and who wants to learn about your disease.
I haven't had this problem, but I think your age may have something to do with it. Chances are when these individuals learned about diabetes, they were not incorrect about the side effects they mention...for a person who had already had diabetes for 20 or so years. The parents remember a time when it was even worse. Unfortunately this no longer applies. You may need to look for individuals who have some better medical knowledge, such as people who already have diabetes or nursing. There may be some biological clock issues going on...especially when a girl's parents get involved. I'm not saying they are right, just that the push for a baby can lead people to make stupid mistakes.
I am married and I have type 1 diabetes. It is a controllable disease and if the person you are with drops you because you have diabetes then they are not even worth being with.
That is ridiculous.... There is no reason why those with Type 1 should not get married. If they run away, I feel what others have said is right, people have been educated poorly. I once dated a girl whose parents owned a candy shop, I can't even begin to tell you how much SF candy I got from them. They were very good about it. I think the problem that may occur is when you tell the person you are a diabetic. This is the you in general, not your case so to speak. And if they do run, they are not meant for you.
Maybe it's the way you are presenting your diabetes. If you focus on all of the ways it has made you into a more mature and aware person, I can only see the females seeing it as an attractive thing rather than a negative thing.
I'm a married diabetic, and my lady has known me pre- and post diagnosis.
Good topic!
I myself have had this circling around my head every time I date someone new. It is one of the most difficult things I have to tell someone. How do I break it to them without them freaking out or getting the misconception of what it really is? I ask myself this all the time. I started dating this girl recently and havent told her yet. I was going to the other day until we were hangin out with some friends watching a cartoon where the Purple pie man was blind because of his diabetes right before strawberry shortcake broke his neck (Robot chicken, gotta love it). I saw that and thought, crap, if I bring this diabetes thing up tonight this chic is going to get the wrong idea and freak!! Then I started realizing, you know what? If it is really this hard to tell someone then truely I really shouldnt be with them.
So I would agree with those lucky enough to find someone accepting. IF they can not handle it, dont look back dude!
Did you ask those parents to provide evidence for their statements concerning diabetics not marrying and not having children? especially males? lol I'm sure they could not do such a thing. I've been living with type 1 diabetes since preschool age. I never had one parent or date throughout my high school or college years say anything like that to me. I'm a living example that even diabetics who have had the disease over 30 years at the time of their pregnancy can have a healthy baby without even having a C-section. Just don't pay any attention to those ignorant people. They don't have a clue as to what they're saying. Keep searching. You'll find a girl who'll love you just as you are. Hang in there! :-)
i have this problem all this time... i dont get it.... people just suck
[quote user="Theodoros"]
While, I have been dating and trying to find my soul mate and I bring up the topic that I'm a diabetic. The females turn around and drop me faster then snapping my fingers and turn away. Even the parents get involved and think that diabetics cannot have children and should not get married. I have had this problem while dating, has anyone else have this problem or am, I the only one.
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Theodoros, the way I look at it is like this: it takes a long time to really get to know someone. a lot of people put on this happy mask and are on their best behavior when a relationship starts out. Only when trust becomes stron do they let you see them...for real. If anybody treats you like that - it is a GIFT. For that moment, you get to see through the mask and then make up your own mind about a person who acts or thinks like that. As for me, it means I don't have to waste any more of my time! As far as talking about diabetes -- yea I completely agree that if you make a big deal out if it, then it becomes a big deal. Don't make it a big deal - because it's not.
the love of my life didn't change her attitude or behavior toward me when I told her about my diabetes. she cared and wanted to know if and how she could help me and that's all. she had questions and we talked and that's all.
if you don't mind me saying this: don't chase too hard - the best relationships meet you somewhere in the middle, sometimes when you are realxed and being yourself - doing the things you really like to do - you find the relationship of a lifetime - or it finds you!
That is so sad to hear. You obviously haven't found your soulmate. Do people with a history of heart disease, hypertension or breast cancer in their families not get married because others fear they may have a gene to carry this into their relationship? True love overrides these fears. I have an incredibly happy marriage for the past 12 years. I met my husband when I was in my young 20's and diabetes had no part in our "love equation". We now have two girls and our youngest was diagnosed with type 1 two years ago. My husband of course broken hearted over the diagnosis has been nothing but an amazing dad and a supportive and loving spouse. I know the same love is out there for you, don't settle for anything less.
Wedding vowels have inspired me in times when I think about my future. I try to remember that I must be married to myself.
"to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health..."
These girls that you have met so far have not contemplated these old vowels. The right woman will be brave enough to know that life will happen, no matter whom she marries.
[quote user="Theodoros"]The females turn around and drop me faster then snapping my fingers and turn away. Even the parents get involved and think that diabetics cannot have children and should not get married[/quote]
wow people never cease to amaze me!!! even though im 14 i often think will i be able to have kids with my diabetes and thats the first question my mom asked the dr. when i was DX they assured me it was a yes and that i probably not have t1 kids. so i dont see how the gf would think thats a prob. much less the parent(is it thr business anyways??)
[quote user="meggs"]
[quote user="Theodoros"]The females turn around and drop me faster then snapping my fingers and turn away. Even the parents get involved and think that diabetics cannot have children and should not get married[/quote]
wow people never cease to amaze me!!! even though im 14 i often think will i be able to have kids with my diabetes and thats the first question my mom asked the dr. when i was DX they assured me it was a yes and that i probably not have t1 kids. so i dont see how the gf would think thats a prob. much less the parent(is it thr business anyways??)
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Sadly, a lot of people assume that if you are diabetic you're always sick and that you can't have kids or if they know you can, that they will be sick and/or diabetic. I think that's the main question I've been asked by the parents of my ex-boyfriends, even if I met them at a time when we hadn't started dating yet. It's sad when people drop outta your life cuz of your diabetes..but it just means that you two weren't meant to be together I guess! and you're probably better off not having someone in your life who thinks that kind thing about your diabetes anyways.
I'm a spouse of a Type 1. When I met my husband and things started getting serious he told me pretty quickly. I admit I didn't know much but, it didn't stop me. I think, in a way, the influence of his diabetes on his personality may have been a positive. He was more together, responsible and mature than some of the guys I was dating. It does make you grow up. We met when I was 25 and he was 27 and he had been diagnosed at 14.
So sorry that has happened to you. You are better off without that person anyway. Years ago my boyfriend was told by his close friend's mother, not to marry me because I could not have children. I heard this story years later and cried for an hour. It upsets me to this day. He ignored her advice, I had three children, her sons had zero!
I've been a T1 for almost 30 years and at the ripe old age of 39 I had my first (and only) child. I had no medical problems whatsoever during my pregnancy, and my son was born with a normal BG level. My docs all told me that he has no greater chance of getting T1 than any other person, and so far (he's almost 2) he's normal. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that they're all right!
So know that you can have a completely normal pregnancy, as long as you keep your BG's in check the whole time.