Riley has been having a lot of highs but I have been getting more aggressive with her insulin so they are starting to come down. She has had a couple of lows because of it but not to bad. Anyhow she keeps crying out about hating her life and just melting down. Normally when high of course but I want to know how to help her not feel that way. Or at least ease the pain of that some. I am a little oh rough around the edges when it comes to life. Like suck it up this is how your life is you cant flip out every time you are high. I know it sucks for you and if there was anything I could do to make it go away I would. I am blunt about it. I care but I also think she needs to try and control her emotions high or not. She wont be able to function in this world if she doesnt. She is starting to do this at school as well. My husband will not allow her to do this he sends her straight to her room. In his opinion I let her walk all over me. I dont see it that way of course but she is very disrespectful towards me more so than him. I give her the chance to put herself in check she does but then she will do it again a few minutes later. So maybe he is right and I am wrong. I dont know I am searching for the balance between being a parent and being understanding to her attitude while high. Is there one? Any advice or opinions would be appreciated.
I have told her to do something else if she gets grumpy while high. To walk away from whatever is bugging her but all to often its me. Like I asked her what she wanted me to buy her for breakfasts before I went shopping. She said those sandwiches with holes in them. I asked what one? and she about flipped made a circle with her hands and with her eyes bugging out of her head said real slow and with major attitude the sandwiches with holes in them. I said ok you can have cereal all week. ugh she flipped out. She wont let me ask the questions I need to to figure out what she wants she can forget it. I dont know just a example of how she gets with me.
I see your daughter was recently dx, and is in the pre-teen grow up phase of life. You need to be supportive, but not overbearing; be there when she needs you, but allowing her to have space when she wants it.
High BS do cause many D's to become grumpy. I would reccomend that sometimes when she is grumpy to ask her what her BS are. I wouldn't do it every time. You also stated that you will allow her to be put in check then several min later act up again. Not being a parent, I would recommend that you allow her to be put into check first, then if she acts up again then send her to her room like your husband. Tell her you are trying to treat her like an adult, but since she can not keep her emotions under control she needs to be treated like a child and go to her room. I think this will show her that you are trusting, and want to treat her like an adult, and this "childish" behavior is inappropriate.
I would explore via your doctor or the local JDRF what summer camps are in your area and try to get her to go to camp. I spent several summers at camp, and it allowed me to see other kids my age with the same conditions. It also was a great educational experiance, and allowed me to have fun ridding horses, canoeing in the river, and being around the camp fire.
Life isn't easy or fair, if it was they would call it easy and fair and not life. It seems like in my life that every time things are going good, I will have something bad and/or expensive happen in my life. It is hard sometimes to look past the bad, and look at all the good things in your life; family, friends, pets, ect.
Parenting is tough, I know I was a big pain in the ass with my parents.
I have two children with diabetes. One who is 6 and one who is 8. I have found that in the beginning they just don't know how to handle the feelings of a high. I had to let my son figure it out but not use it as an excuse. Elisabeth is even more dramatic, and she is really having a hard time accepting it, her emotions are way out there also when she is high. I have the same disrespect for me but respect for Daddy. He coddles her more.
Make sure you give her just you and her time. It really helps. They need to see that we still see them as normal. It is just such a big life change. I try and sit and read with her or read a chapter book with her. I try to sit and watch movies with them here and there. They are so reliant on us at first that I think it is discouraging. Here they were trying to be more independent and then diabetes steps in and makes them more dependent. I have also been very blunt with both of them. There isn't any way around it, you must check your blood, you must take the insulin shots. Diabetes can mean death. I have told them about all of the things that can happen with diabetes if you refuse to take care of it. Treat her just the same as she was before diabetes. Same consequences as it was before. I think they try to use it as an excuse to see what we will do.
I think you are doing well. It changes our lives too. I think it is hard to not treat them differently than before. You just want to grab them hold them and take the highs, lows, shots, finger pokes and all. I told my little boy if I could I would take the diabetes for you. So the next day when I put him to bed he said " I wish you had diabetes". you just have to laugh. I hope I have helped. I understand, I am living it too. God Bless!
Thank you both for your advice. Riley is really overly dramatic too. She wasnt so much before D but now oi. I am doing my best but sometimes feel like it might not be enough.
I am having the same issues with my 13 year old son. He was dx just before his 7th birthday, so this isn't new to him. I think it's a teenage thing partly. He has recently started getting soooooo mad when he checks and has a high number. It's a little tantrum, and like yourself, I don't take it well. I know I have no idea how he feels, but, like you, it's life. It stinks and I hate it and would take it all away if I could, but I can't and we have to deal with it. I have tried to encourage other ways to deal with the anger as well. My big problem now is that he is ignoring his pump alarms (he has a CGM) and neglecting to check because "he doesn't want to know" what his numbers are. I have tried talking to him to explain that he cannot correct if he doesn't know. Such a trying time. I know we will get thru it, but it was much easier when he was 8 and I could just handle it all!
I was diagnosed when I was 18, so the majority of the hormonal hell was over. In the months before being diagnosed, when I was running high constantly and didn't know it, I alienated all of my friends mostly by snapping at them for things that they didn't do wrong. I was so emotionally volatile - and then it just got worse, because I felt so guilty for snapping at them. I did a lot of crying and yelling. When I was diagnosed, I was so relieved that there was a reason behind my erratic behavior.
I guess what I'm saying is that it's important for you to recognize that controlling your emotions while high is HARD. I'm not saying don't hold her to the same standards you did before - she needs to be respectful - but you might have to give her some slack, because she really might not be able to control her emotions while high. The best way to fight the emotional roller coaster is to fight the BG roller coaster.
The other thing I want to say is that guilt and stress will make all the rest of the emotions worse. If she tests and has a high number, make sure you see it as more information - it's a good thing because you caught the high, so now you can correct. Don't get down on yourself, and don't let her get down on herself, for having high numbers. They're just numbers.
As for stress - does she have things she can do to de-stress? With someone her age it might be harder (selling meditation to an eight year old is near-impossible) but does she like to write or draw or watch movies? Being less stressed out in general will have a huge impact on her BG control - so maybe start there. Find ways to de-stress, it will bring the highs down. I think we often think of managing diabetes from the outside in - if i get rid of these highs i'll be less stressed - but getting rid of highs while you're stressed out is almost impossible.
You're doing an awesome job. I have so much respect for D moms. Keep up the hard work.
Initially, I was thinking hormonal changes, too, but I suppose 9 is still a bit young. A good idea, in my mind at least, is to lock her out of the house and make her run around; throwing a temper tantrum is a way to burn off that high bs. I can't imagine being a parent of a diabetic. I was very, very young when diagnosed and my parents were very young, too. But my mom told me how she would cry chasing me around to give me my insulin. I can tell you are doing a good job - and the same thing we share with fellow diabetics we need to share with you - it's never easy and it's never perfect. It's a new challange every day and what worked yesterday probably won't tomorrow. Just keep good records. Get Riley to participate - ask her what did we do the last time this happened? She'll grow more comfortable and confident, too.
Just a couple of suggestions that worked for me and my son--- not to say that they will absolutely work for you, but you never know...
First of all---My son has to check his blood sugar when he gets "snarky" with me for no real reason.
Second- my son has had to go grocery shopping with me on occasion so that he can help pick out some of the foods he would like and he can't blame me for getting the wrong things for him to eat.
If all else fails---make her go out and exercise!!!
I think you're doing a great job. To answer your question, you're doing it by by coming here and asking. What a good Mom you are!!!!!!!! As the Daddy of a grown up girl I can tell you later in life she will thank you!!!!! Teenager got to love'em.
Ajax I so do that when she is high. I tell her it is no big deal we will just correct it and she bites my flipping head off saying it is bad. She is currently refusing to eat because its always the same thing. She has oh 5 breakfast choices right now and before t-1 she had 1 cereal and that was it. I told her ok dont eat but you will just go higher and higher right now.
lol yeah meditation might not work for her right now but maybe just maybe I can find some guided ones and we can do them together. I have tried to redirect her with destressing things but my mouth moving just pisses her off. I can say I love you when she is high and she will tell me I dont. I do try and suggest things for her to do when high when she isnt and she agrees but the second she goes over 200 its over. half the time I want to hide her numbers from here. :/
Initially, I was thinking hormonal changes, too, but I suppose 9 is still a bit young. A good idea, in my mind at least, is to lock her out of the house and make her run around; throwing a temper tantrum is a way to burn off that high bs. I can't imagine being a parent of a diabetic. I was very, very young when diagnosed and my parents were very young, too. But my mom told me how she would cry chasing me around to give me my insulin. I can tell you are doing a good job - and the same thing we share with fellow diabetics we need to share with you - it's never easy and it's never perfect. It's a new challange every day and what worked yesterday probably won't tomorrow. Just keep good records. Get Riley to participate - ask her what did we do the last time this happened? She'll grow more comfortable and confident, too.
You are a phenomenal woman!
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Sadly she isnt to young she is already developing. She isnt over weight so its not just that and its not just there to put it well the best way I can lol. Puberty is in full blown effect with her.
I ask her all the time what she wants me to buy food wise and get her involved. I am about done and not give her any dang choices. I will buy cereal and that is it if she doesnt like it she can get a job and buy her own foods!! lol yeah she is next to me whining about there not being anything to eat. I am getting so burnt out on the never ending food battles with her. She never stops complaining and nothing I do is ever good enough for her so I will make life hard on her for a while so she can see how reasonable I am with all of this and cut me some slack. I am sure after a week of just cereal and ham sandwiches (which she hates) it will open her eyes to how many choices I do give her and she is just being a pain. I dont know what else to try.
Thanks everyone. Man I knew these years were going to be hard enough as it is but topping her personality off with T-1 has brought it to a whole new level I wasnt ready for.
Well I told her that I was going to take away all her choices and she got upset. I cried because I am emotional about it but we talked and she is going to try harder. I told herI would take on her t-1 for myself if I could because I know it sucks for her and I would in a second if I could. I cant tho and this is her reality and she has to accept that. She ended up being over 400 after breakfast I am sure a mix of emotions and food tho I did give her enough insulin to cover it. She has been doing great all day she got her own lunch brought me her insulin and didnt complain with what choices we have. They are limited right now cause we just got back from vacation yesterday and my car wont start it wouldnt before we left either so I have not been able to get to the store. Anyhow we have a code word for when she needs to take a self time out just to chill so she doesnt get into trouble if she argues with it she will be in trouble. So I guess we shall see how this goes.
I think i am going through something similar to what Riley is going through. I'm 13 and Just got diagnosed about 6-7 months ago. OMG it was the scariest thing I've ever gone through. I thought I was sick but the night (at 3:30 am i might add) i went to the hospital and all the doctors told me tat everything that was happening was "typical diabetes" I wanted to just get up and run. Honestly I would rather have been in a room with a snake ready to spit poison at me then be in a hospital hearing that I had diabetes. I would have preferred that because that would only be then. I would only be scared then and after, it would be over. But with diabetes, I have it forever. I was scared for my future health. For my unborn children (if i was ever going to have any) for my family who I knew would have to do something (although i didn't know what then) for me all the time. I was scared because diabetes was NOT expected and i knew nothing about it and I couldn't even react. I was in denial for a really long time. Although it wasn't a dangerous denial (i mean i still tested and kept my sugars mostly controlled) but up until about 3 months ago, I didn't believe it was really happening. I remember the first visit to my endocrinologist after i was diagnosed and i was with my dad and the doctor wasn't in the room yet. I told my dad, "It just doesn't feel like me. It feels like since i got diabetes i've been living in someone else's body, and living their life." At that point, I was still in the 'honeymoon phase' or just starting it or something so it wasn't that bad but i always thought about it and i still do. When i was coming out of the honeymoon phase i switched endocrinologists and started a different kind of insulin plan which was lantus once a day a humolog before each meal. When i started the daily lantus, my sugars were still high like ALL THE TIME and i was pissed off. So every night i would keep raising the amount of lantus i was taking and i was still high. At that point, I was just upset all the time. Upset at everyone for no reason because weather i would admit it or not, i was upset at myself. I was upset at myself because I couldn't control my sugars. Upset because My life has always been my life and not interrupted by diabetes. Then, it was just interrupted, it was being thrown off track by the constant headaches and feeling hungry and tired ALL THE TIME. I may have been really mean to some people but i tried to hide it and just avoid the topic and just use a lot of insulin until i found the right amount for me. I was probably especially mean to my mom because she was the most concerned about it. She would ask me about it and i would just want to cry. Sometimes I did cry. Eventually I found the right amount and I feel better now. I always told my mom stuff about it since i got it and although i really dont want to tell her i still do because i want her to keep trusting me with it.
My advice to you is to really take control of Riley's insulin plan and change whatever is necessary. If you know whats going on with her, and you know its good blood sugar wise, then there should be no excuse for her to be acting out unless there is some other stress in her life. Once you are BOTH comfortable with the insulin and the sugar, your relationship will take whatever course it will. If she really believed that you were suffering when she took her pain and everyday inconveniences out on you, she probably wouldnt do that anymore. This may be drastic, but what i think is THE most loving thing you can do for her is to eat exactly like her. If she can't eat yet because she's high or something, don't eat until she can. If she can't have ice cream at a partly or wherever you're getting ice cream, dont have any either. The only person in my entire family who has done that (but only in front of me, i found out) is my dad and i dont even live with him. When i visit him, he eats like me and it reminds me that even though i'm the only one around with real restrictions and who really has diabetes, im not alone, and i am surrounded by people who love me. I think Riley might feel that way if you do that. It's just really hard being at teen and just getting diabetes. And she's got to know that it's not just hard on her but everyone around her.
I hope i helped with my...extensive piece of advice. I really think that she will feel better in time. She's got to heal and cope with it and so does everyone else. The only thing that helps is time. And i hope it doesnt take too much more time for Riley :)
Thank you Sofia. You being a little older than Riley have put into words what she maybe feeling and cant quit express herself. I am really trying to become more aggressive with her insulin but without a Endo right now its been hard. I was eating like her on her first insulin plan now she just eats whenever. I had no clue until a few days ago she should wait to eat while high. I always would just correct her and cover her food all at once. I think if she is normal range at all today I will talk to her some more about it and try and get her to open up and talk to me some about it. Again thank you.
Instead of going to my room my mom made me go on walks. Going to your room when your upset isn't as effective as getting exercise when your upset. Her behavior right now is an opportunity to form a good habit. It will also help her with her high blood sugars that she is having. You can even go walk with her and both just take it as quiet time. Just say "I'm up set and you are upset, lets walk this out."
She doesn't have to know that is is good for her, that it helps her with her blood sugars, or that walking makes you feel good, but it is the perfect time to start just going on walkabouts.
Instead of going to my room my mom made me go on walks. Going to your room when your upset isn't as effective as getting exercise when your upset. Her behavior right now is an opportunity to form a good habit. It will also help her with her high blood sugars that she is having. You can even go walk with her and both just take it as quiet time. Just say "I'm up set and you are upset, lets walk this out."
She doesn't have to know that is is good for her, that it helps her with her blood sugars, or that walking makes you feel good, but it is the perfect time to start just going on walkabouts.
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See we cant do that because my boys are autistic and have absence seizures going for a walk alone with them is just not something I can do. They refuse to do most anything outside except swimming. We went out of town this weekend and she played outside so much I had to give her carb drinks all day to keep her up. I only gave her insulin to cover her actual foods and at a higher ratio than normal. She loves to play outside and exercise but with her brothers who last maybe 10 min outside doing anything other than swimming its impossible to get her out. She wont go outside alone and we dont have a pool but are thinking of trying to get one soon.
i see some people suggesting that you should use exercise to bring down high sugars. just know that this is ok some of the time, but if the reading is over 240, exercise can actually raise your sugar even higher. very important to check your blood sugar before starting any kind of significant exercise. not really sure if walking is actually considered exercise, but the last thing i feel like doing when my sugar is over 300 is going for a walk. i think the best way to remedy this is to prevent the sugars from going too high in the first place, but of course, this is easier said than done. after 25 yrs, i still have problems controlling my sugars. just not sure why your daughter's sugars are going over 400 after 6 months. hate to be the bearer of bad news, but i don't think this is a good sign. my sugar never went that high until at least 6 or 7 yrs into it. but everybody is different. and i also had the luxury of not getting diabetes til i was 19, so i missed the whole puberty, roller coaster ride of emotions that goes with that. anyway, i really hope things start to get better, i couldn't imagine what you are going thru with your 3 kids. please, try to find the best endocrinologist in your area. one of my main regrets, relying on my family dr. for far too long. is there some kind of diabetes center at a hospital in your area? just think you need more help from professionals. good luck to you, wish you all the best. thanks. take care
There is one about 3 hours from here which if I can get both insurance money and my car working at the same time we will go. We have no doctor right now because of insurance issues. I finally got them on the state stuff. I am just waiting for their cards so I can get her into her ped for the referral up there. I know she can go from a normal range to 250-300 in minutes when upset or stressed out so ugh I hope its just that and nothing worse. Yeah she doesnt exercise if she is that high she just chills and drinks water.
For most, but not all people, exercise when you're high will bring your blood sugar down as long as you don't have ketones. If you are spilling ketones, you are also spilling free fatty acids, which inhibit the body's ability to utilize insulin. If you have ketones, exercise becomes much more dangerous. But if you don't, exercising with numbers upwards of 300 should bring them down (if you can motivate yourself to get your exhausted, syrup-filled body off the couch.) - just makes sure to stay hydrated.