I have been totally fine with reading everyone's posts on here and the Diabetes and infertility group (not that I would be considered unfertile -Dr says everything is good to go) until this last week. We have been trying for 5 months now with no luck. Every time I think pregnancy is a possibility, my period decides to show up. It's so frustrating to see everyone get pregnant on first try or accidently get pregnant. I am seriously running out of time (per doctor) to try for 2 babies. My patience is running out and I feel like I am left with no other options but to sit and wait. What is wrong? What are we doing wrong. I'm tired of trying! It's a freaking chore. I hate chores! I am afraid to go on any kind of fertility help because twins already run in my family (I have 2 SETS of twin siblings). My Mom fears that my body wouldn't be able to handle carrying 2 or more at one time. Not to mention the fact that I don't get disability through work unless I purchase it through a private company that won't sell to us "diabetics". I am just at my wits end and feel like giving up. I keep looking for a story like mine, someone to help me through it but I haven't found that yet.
I'm sorry I'm such a Negative-Nancy today. I just needed to vent before I lose it.
Nikki I completely feel your pain. We got pregnant super quick last year but then lost the baby at 7 weeks. We then tried for 6 months with no luck. It was terrible and heartbreaking every month. I was using a fertility monitor and taking tests each month, and was totally devastated. Then we gave up and decided we’d plan a big no-holds-barred trip overseas next year to ease our pain. Packed up the fertility monitor, threw out all unused pregnancy tests, and only did the deed when we wanted to. Thats the month I got pregnant again. (I’m now (q15 weeks) Im happy of course, but I have no idea why I had to hot rock bottom to succeed. I guess what I leaned was to relax and stress less. (Man, I HATED hearing that during those months that we were really trying!!) if there’s no issues, it may just be that we are stressing ourselves out too much. Take a month or two of and see what happens maybe?
Also, I don’t know why on earth your doctor would tell you that you’re running out of time. That sounds crazy to me. I’d seek a second opinion on that.
I know what you mean, my husband and I have been trying for a few months now and I just got my period (again) on Sunday. It is really disappointing, similar to you we have many friends who seem to have gotten pregnant so easily. 1 consoling thought for me though is knowing that while we've been trying I've also been working really hard on my bloodsugars (checking before/after meals a lot, figuring out what foods to eat, etc). After having an A1c that stayed in the 6's for about a year, I finally got to 5.9 earlier in August. So I'm hopeful!
Difficulty conceiving just isn't fair, and it's not something you can really control.
Not sure if this helps, but when I was single I had a series of bad boyfriends. I took a break from dating for a year, which was great and helped me have better perspective on who I was looking for in a partner. But when I was ready to find a serious relationship it seemed like all the decent men disappeared. I wasn't a Christian at that point, but read an article about a woman who said a sincere prayer to God, asking to either have peace being single or to meet a husband. So I prayed that same prayer.
Within a month I met my husband to be at a friend's wedding. Through him I eventually learned about Christianity and God has done amazing things in my life since then. God isn't an magic genie and prayer won't magically bring whatever you want. But as a Christian I know without a doubt that God loves us and is orchestrating everything in our lives. I'm not sure where your faith is, but if you do believe in God then trust him to help you in your life.
When I said my little prayer, I did it sincerely and knew I was a winner either way because I would either have peace being single or would find a relationship worth having. I hope you can find that same peace in the situation you're in. Take care. - Jenna
- I took horrible care of myself for 12 years or so of the 20 years I have had diabetes. I have never, in my 20 years, had a A1C of a 6.8 (or at least what I can remember of the years of 6-11 years old). With that being said, my A1c's were above a 12 for the majority because I didn't care. I finally got a handle on things almost 5 years ago. I have done the absolute best in the past year -knowing my situation with wanting kids. My Endo is the one who, knowing my past, said that I need to be done having kids by 30 - I will be 27 in Dec. I will also have had diabetes for 24 years. I'm sure he is worried about more complications for me and the pregnancy. I already have stage 2 retinopathy in one of my eyes and stage 1 in the other -which have gotten better with my A1C dropping. I have worked my little tooshy off to get my diabetes to where it is now. I am so incredibly proud of my husband and I. I don't feel like I am stressed, I usually have physical signs of stress. I know that thinking constantly about being pregnant is a way of stressing myself out, but how do you help it when you want it?!? I have been thinking that if I am unable to work 2 into the next 3 years, I may go ahead and try for another even if I am 30. I am just nervous. I just want something, just one thing, to go my way! I have had to work for EVERYTHING with my health. Why should others get it so easy?? O.M.G. Listen to me! I hate being negative like this. I know it will work out as it is supposed to which leads me into my response to Jenna.
Jenna-
I am a Christian, and I completely believe in the power of prayer and in God's plan. As I'm sure you are aware, the waiting for his plan to unravel is very difficult at times! I was at my Mom's side during her struggles getting pregnant with my siblings. She lost a singe pregnancy as well as a set of twins before we were suprisingly blessed with 2 sets of twins. I know what it's like to lose a pregnancy and understand that there are miracles that are worked through loss, my 4 beautiful siblings. (totaly crying now. Lol.) The only way we were blessed with them was because of our prayers and the churches. I guess I just wish I would have had better luck/ blessings that what my Mom went through. I pray that God would help me with patience while I wait for his perfect children for me. It's just really hard when you consider the outside world and the positions we are in as diabetics. It took me a while, and I'm still struggling now, to accept that I am at the age that we need to have children. I have thoroughly enjoyed the past 2 years, almost 3, of just me and my husband. But I am as ready as I think I can get, I want the end product!
I just don't know when to go and bark at my OB to see what the next step should be? I don't have forever. If I hadn't have just had my period, I'd totally think I'd be starting one with how worked up I am right now. Lol. Thank you so much ladies for all of your input and support. We are the only one's who truly know what we live with day to day. Oh and add in crazy blood sugars to the mix of things. Almost forgot that. I am STILL having weird low spells. I don't freaking get it! : /
That great Nikki. God's timing is definitely different than ours. In the last few years I've come to believe that God takes his time so that I know, without a doubt, when my prayers are answered it's because he made it happen. Not anything I've done.
Realistically because your mom had fertility problems then it's likely to take you longer to conceive too. But the great thing is that your mom has 5 living children! That's incredibly encouraging.
I'm not a doctor, but completely disagree with your endo's recommendation to be finished having kids by age 30. Why is that supposed to be beneficial to you or your baby?
I assume it is so there is less years of wear and tear on my body. If I remember correctly, complications show up anywhere from 15-25 years after onset. Like I said, at 30 years of age i will have had diabetes for 24 of my 30 years of life. My OB hasn't said much as to a certain age to be done.
Fear of potential complications isn't a compelling reason to have your children before age 30. The American Diabetes Association says type 1 diabetics shouldn't be discouraged from having children and there is no mention of age related risk. www.diabetes.org/.../pregnant-women
Complications can happen, but they don't happen to all people with diabetes. There's a great 2009 National Insitute of Health study that shows if you have REALLY tight control with an A1c of 6 or less, the rate of complications is cut in half.
"After 30 years of diabetes, DCCT participants randomly assigned to intensive glucose control had about half the rate of eye damage compared to those assigned to conventional glucose control (21 percent vs. 50 percent). They also had lower rates of kidney damage (9 percent vs. 25 percent) and cardiovascular disease events (9 percent vs. 14 percent) compared to those receiving conventional glucose control. Eye damage ranged from significant damage without vision loss to blindness. Kidney damage ranged from mild kidney disease to kidney failure. Cardiovascular events encompassed heart attack, stroke, angina, and obstruction of the coronary arteries."
The study also says that control that tight is extremely difficult, but that the improved control most of us have because of glucose monitors, multiple daily injections or the pump that complication rates have fallen substantially since the 1970's.
Complications aren't that straight forward either. Not every diabetic gets them and while researchers know blood sugar and the number of years you've had diabetes are factors that contribute to complications, they aren't the only factors. I've posted this a bunch but it is about the Joslin study on people who've had type 1 diabetes for 50 years or more. Half had no serious complications.
More importantly, we are not statistics. I'm tremendously more likely to die today in a car accident than something diabetes related. But I don't fear getting in my car. I was diagnosed at age 4 and had terrible control for about 20 of the 35 years I've had diabetes. I'm sure the doctors who treated me when I was a teenager thought I'd be dead or have serious health problems by now. But here I am healthy and complication free. I've had a child and that has just given me more incentive to take care of my diabetes and be around for my husband, son and future grandkids.
Sorry to go on a rant... I just don't want you to feel unnecessarily stressed by a doctor's comment. =)
I think many women have felt that way. Me personally, I only tried for 3 months. But believe me, during those 3 months every period I had was a heartbreak. So I know what you must be feeling is even worse. A dear friend of mine tried for almost a yr to get pregnant and when it finally happened she had a miscarriage at about 8 weeks. Well... It's been a while since then and TODAY she is in the hospital right now on Pitocin about to welcome her little man into this world. She went through a lot. Months and months of trying and then the loss of a baby, today she has forgotten about all of that and is so excited to greet her little one! I know this may sound cliche, but praying always helps! Just keep praying on it and you will receive your blessing!
I've been t1 since 1977, so 35 years with type 1, and I'm 42. I've had two healthy babies at age 37 and 40, and have had plenty of experience with infertility treatment, though my second child was conceived without treatment (at age 40). I blogged about my experiences trying to get and stay pregnant at Managing the Sweetness Within, and wrote a book about pregnancy and pre-existing diabetes that has a whole chapter on infertilty treatment and diabetes (and interviewed more than 50 women with type 1 and type 2 about their experiences). And while I've had a bit of laser treatment for retinopathy during my pregnancies, my vision is perfect and I've had no other complications worth noting. Having babies when you are in your 30s and 40s, if you can manage it, is certainly possible and while the risks of problems are increased, they aren't guaranteed.
You aren't considered infertile until you have been trying to conceive for 12 months (or six months if you are 35 or over, which it doesn't seem like you are). In fact, you have plenty of time to have two children (because you're what, not even 30 yet?). Jennagrant who posted above has some great scientific sources about diabetes and pregnancy, and while I know you are frustrated, you still have plenty of time, and plenty of options (not all infertilty treatments result in multiple births, for example) to build your family.
You could talk to your regular OB about taking Clomid, which is a pill that helps improve ovulation. But if you had been trying for more than a year, an infertility expert (a reproductive endocrinologist) would want to give you a full workup to see if you and your husband have a specific reason for why you aren't conceiving naturally. But you're still seven months away from that.
I greatly appreciate the positivie feedback and research you pulled up. I guess I worry as well with my history. The only glimmer of hope I have is that there is a reason God hasn't healed, he has kept me remarkably healthy up to this point, and I have a voice to touch others with. Again, it goes back to faith that God will protect me and that he has a perfect plan for me. I keep asking, Lord- what am I to learn from this right now? Is this the time for my husband to look for a new job? I feel more comfortable with all the positive feedback. Thank you!
RachelEmily-
I went through that with my Mom. You are sad that you struggled to get pregnant and then end up losing, but once you have that baby or babies in our case, all sadness subsides and you are overwhelmed with joy. I know that as soon as I see my future baby, I will realize that all the wait and struggles I've had will become worth so much more. Until then, I'm trying to stay positive and chug along.
Cheryl-
I was suggested to get your book and I did! I have it at home and I have read a lot of it. such a wonderful book to have. Apparently I should re-read sections in it.
What an inspiration you are to myself as well as many other T1's in our position. The fact that you had your children later in life, is an inspiration in itself.
Thankfully, my OB is an infertility Dr and I have known him since I was very young. He said if we weren't pregnant in 6 months from my last appointment that we need to make another appointment. We have 4 more months until that time. We shall see. I'm trying to plan a get away trip with my hubby so we can escape our day to day life and go play at the beach with our dog (our furry child).