This is my first ever post and I struggled with a subject for it. I hope I don't bring anybody down, the posts I've been reading have all been wonderfully upbeat and made me happy. Still I am hoping for some advice/encouragement/something.
My husband and I have been actively trying to conceive since January. We found out we were expecting November of last year after only 2 months off birth control. Only to learn (On Christmas. 2 days after we announced the news to our families. At his parents house. An 18 hour drive from our home) that the baby no longer had a heart beat at 9 weeks and that I would need a D&C. Everyone was very nice, said nice things, told me since it happened so fast the first time I had nothing to worry about, told me I was too young to worry (I'm 27), that it's all part of nature's plan. Basically all the things that downplay the pain I was/am feeling to the point where I felt stupid for evening crying. My a1C at the time was 6.4 and all of my doctors were happy with me. I don't understand what went wrong. Did diabetes do this? I am otherwise healthy. My endocrinologist has since started me on low dose synthroid because my thyroid was low... but not out of normal range low.
Now, coming up on 6 months later, we are not pregnant. We were told not to bother with waiting to try again. I know that 6 months may seem like a very short time to some that are having issues, and for them I am deeply, deeply sorry and I wish them nothing but good luck and good fortune. But for us, 6 months is too long. I had one chemical pregnancy back in March, but my doctor told me that I should not consider it as a true pregnancy. After being told that the miscarriage and D&C would have absolutely NO effect on my fertility I am at a loss as to why it is not happening for us. I have used the clear blue and easy fertility monitor, pre-seed,and every old wives tale in the book all to no avail. I am at a complete loss.
Has anyone gone through something similar? Any success stories to help me pull myself out of this funk? I'll take anything... any advice, any tricks, anything at all.
I hope everyone out there is having a wonderful day, has a wonderful weekend, and wonderful success in the endeavors for family.
I am so sorry for what you are going through. It must be so painful. Your story is what I have always been afraid of. This may not help coming from a stranger, but keep your head up. Maybe take a vacation or long weekend away to relax. Stress doesn't help any situation. I myself am looking to de-stress my life and I am looking into starting yoga. I hear it is great for the mind, body, and soul. =) Most importantly take care of yourself. (I tend to neglect my health when feeling down)
I can't even begin to fathom the pain and frustration you are feeling right now. I am at the beginning of trying and know that I could face the same trials. I think the most important thing you can take from sharing your story on here (with or without the advice from those that reply) is that there are so many of us women out here that have fears, trials, disappointments, discouragement, failure,and success -we all walk the same path and we are all here to uplift the others in their time of need. I will keep you and you husband in my prayers. And please remember that we all are here to hear your vent, because we all can understand the frustrations with the diabetes side of things. You are in all of our thoughts and I hope you find some comfort in knowing that.
Thank you so much for your kind words. And they do help, stranger or not. Thank you for taking time out of your day to provide some positivity to mine. I think I will try to relax this weekend. BUT not neglect my health. Thanks again!
First off from what I read I wanted to say that is sounds like Diabetes had NOTHING to do with what happened. I'm currently 21 weeks along and had a scare where they thought our baby may have some type of birth defect (I of course thought i was my fault because of the diabetes) turns out it was nothing and baby is healthy. You've probably heard this a million times but sometimes things just happen (or don't happen) and there is no explanation for them.
My only advice would be to take it easy on yourself. I know a few people who got so stressed out about trying that they were unable to. As soon as they stopped trying and just relaxed everything clicked. Your young and healthy so take your prenatals, relax, and have faith that your meant to have the baby that comes along.
I’ve been there and it gets better. I was diagnosed type 1 in October 2005. Got married and pregnant in November same year. Lost the baby January 18th 2006. I was devastated to say the least. I have never been able to forget January 18th as the date that we lost our first baby… We weren’t “trying” to get pregnant a second time, but we were doing nothing to prevent it. I didn’t get pregnant until the middle of July 2006. That pregnancy was successful and I now have a five year old girl We were using the natural family planning methods after we had her and accidentally got pregnant with baby girl #2 fourteen months later. Keep taking care of you and I sincerely believe that everything will happen in it’s perfect timing. (My non-diabetic cousin tried for years to get pregnant. Just before she was scheduled to begin fertility treatments she found out that she was pregnant on her own. They tried for 5+ years. She now has two children!)
I just knew that I was going to have issues conceiving b/c I have had diabetes since I was 8. I told my husband we should start trying earlier than we had planned (we had a big European trip planned that I was not suppose to be pregnant on) but I thought if we started early we could get those months behind us. Well BOOM it happened on the 3rd month of trying! Come to find out, the whole diabetes thing, (if you are under control ) does NOT affect your fertility!!! My a1c was 6.4 when I got pregnant. It had been much higher in the past, as a teenager I even got up into the 11's! But here IS what will affect your fertility. WORRYING. I'm sorry about your miscarriage. But if you look up the statics that is almost more common to have one than to NOT have one. Many women don't even know they are pregnant the first time and have one and never know. They are very VERY common for some reason and doctors don't know what causes many of them. My cousin (now a mother of twins) was pregnant 3 times and lost all 3 (they knew the reason) her eggs couldn't implant into the lining securely. So she did invitro and got pregnant with twins. Now since she was no longer stressed about it she is pregnant AGAIN on her own and due in 6 weeks and everything was perfect! Another example of stress playing a role, my sister in law tried for 17 months with no luck. Doctors said everything was fine but she was stressing and new something was wrong, so she did invitro and got pregnant and had a perfect baby boy. Well after he was born she "assumed" she was infertile without "help" so wouldn't you know it she has a 6 month old baby and BOOM she gets pregnant with her 2nd "a natural" and has a healthy baby girl. What was causing the "infertility"?? STRESS. That is proven. One thing I read up on.. a pretty good way to get you relaxed when you want to "try". GET DRUNK!! I know... not the best advice for one diabetic to give another, but let's be honest here. I drink on occasion and just monitor my sugars. Plus drinking, helps get me "in the mood (TMI??) " what else does it do?? IT STOPS ME FROM OVER THINKING OR STRESSING!! So there is my advice to all of you. You will of course, as I did. Look everything up on the internet and assume diabetes is the cause and effect of everything and wonder about what it will be like when you do get pregnant with diabetes etc... but in the time being, try to do whatever you can to STOP STRESSING so that your body can relax and let nature take its course.
P.s I had a healthy 5.10oz baby boy who is developing at a great rate and everything (aside from my BP was perfect throughout my pregnancy.) Good luck... now go have some glasses of wine get a massage and relax!
Also, a bit of advice to help you out right now..... Make a list (mental or otherwise) of all the things you can't do (or at least can't do easily anyway!) when you have a baby. Example: Go camping, movies, theatre, snooty restaurants, crazy loud sex (lol)......Then do those things! In my case, we were pregnant again before we did everything on our list! It gets your mind off of what you don't have and helps you to enjoy what you DO have and keeps you busy too :) I wish you all the best!
THANK YOU! Your posts just made me smile! I love the support I am receiving here. It's really helping me a lot to hear some success stories, have my pain validated, and just to smile! Now the hard part... to stop trying and relax....such a hard thing to do when all you want is to be a mom. I will do my best though! I'm turning off the fertility monitor next month just to see what happens. It's incredibly cool to find this place and know people that actually GET IT!
Im sorry for your loss. Ive had a similar (if not worse) experence like yours. I accidently got pregant by my boyfriend at the time, and was about 21 weeks when i started having blood loss and strong pains in my stomache. By then, I had already told everyone about my pregancy as well. I was hospitalized for 2 days, and they said that my H1c of 7.1 was not the cause of me loosing the baby. They blamed stress... much like they blamed stress on why I became diabetic in the first place! (No family history)... so again I'm sorry for your loss, but just be thankful it didnt happen later on in the pregnancy when you couldnt try again for another 6 months. I understand you want a baby, but would you rather wait an extra 6 months and have a healthy one, or have one right now that isnt as healthy? I think thats a much better way to look at your experience.
Sorry for your loss. I went through a similiar experience the first time I was pregnant. I had a miscarriage at 12 weeks. I did not know that I was pregnant and my BS control wasn't good. After I found out I was pregnant, I went to the dr. The last appt., I was told that I lost the baby. I know that it is a hard thing to go through. But as everyone had told me, God has a reason for everything. I do believe this because six months later, I was pregnant unexpectedly. Now, (8 yrs. later) I have two great boys and I am glad. Just don't stress about becoming pregnant, everything will work out.
We were using the natural family planning methods after we had her and accidentally got pregnant with baby girl