Severe Denial

Hi there,

My name is Connor and I am 22, I was diagnosed with T1D 8 years ago when I was 14. Throughout high school I had taken pretty good care of my diabetes (mostly because of the help of my parents), but ever since I had gotten to college my A1C has been on a slow rise and my management has gotten very poor. My latest A1C was 13.8 and the protein in my urine has gotten so high I am now taking Lisinopril. Every check up I have had I would beat myself up and try new things to make sure I am on top of checking my blood sugars, counting my carbs, maintaining my pump procedures (I have the Medtronic 670g), but I always end up falling off my attempts at making routines but it is now causing me severe health problems and I am scared. I have luckily not gone through DKA, but I don’t want to have a hospital visit be my wake up call. I just need to get passed this psychological block because there are so many things I want to do in my life and I don’t want to keep halting my health and abilities.

Hi Connor @criles, first let me offer you a Warm Welcome to TypeOneNation Forum! A place where you are welcome and urged to share your experiences about living with diabetes.

May I offer you a few thoughts based on my 62 years living with diabetes? No, I’m not going to beat you up because I see from your words that you are now seeing what is needed. My first suggestion is that you go back in time to the first thing you learned - well maybe not the very first thing - is that “Good Diabetes Management” is that hard to find perfect balance between foods eaten, all your activity and insulin. Basic, VERY hard to maintain but critical. You have the 670G, a great tool, so now let’s use its potential. Next I suggest that you do now use your HbA1c as a goal, but rather as a marker, and concentrate on what you admit is the root of your dilemma: “… and my management has gotten very poor”.

  • Let’s take a look at your pump: carbohydrate ratios, sensitivity and target; and then duration. How recently have you validated those items? My carb ratios and insulin sensitivity vary over the course of the day and have changed many times over time. Try checking them and validate occasionally - Medtronic has some good worksheets on-line.
  • Carbohydrate counting: how recently have you tried using a scale or measuring cup? - my estimates sometimes are way off. Try that occasionally and read food labels carefully.

This next is a plea, please do not think that diabetes would take care of itself and you can just ignore the basics. I did that at your age and now I’m paying the price. Thankfully my wife woke me up when I was about 25 and I began taking MY diabetes seriously - no, I didn’t let diabetes slow me down, but rather I began an intense study and figured how I could manage MY diabetes so that I was able to live a full, very active and productive life.

I’m here every day if you want to talk; I and some people more knowledgable than I are here regularly to listen to you and suggest ideas. I’m not a medical doctor so I can only suggest based on my experience and observation.

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Welcome welcome Conner. I am grandma to a newly diagnosed grandson named Chase. He is only four years old. I’m sure I could learn a lot from you. Thank you for Sharing your story. There is always something to learn from every person that posts here. I wish for you all the tools that you need to have a successful life. I know others here that have recommended some very good books that have been helpful for us. Continue to use the support of your endocrinologist and others that have walked this walk. Best to you always Conner from this grandma.

Hey Connor,

I’m 22 and was diagnosed when I was 8 so almost 14 years ago (ha, what a funny swap of the numbers). I understand where you are. I’ve had type one almost twice as long and it’s still a struggle sometimes. I had the same thing happen when I started college, and it’s taken me the full four years to really put my health first. The 670G is really the only thing that I saw helping pull my A1C down, so I’m honestly glad to hear you’re on it! I know that sensor can be a pain a lot of the time, but it sounds like you know it’s worth it.

The first thing that got me more on track when I came o college was noticing how different I felt when I was struggling versus when I had BGs in a normal range. I could think clearer, I did better in school, and I was less pissy in my relationships with other people (a huge factor). The way I saw it affecting the rest of my life made me feel absolutely terrible at first - but it’s the reason I started putting more work in to check more often, keep on top of bolusing and changing my sensor, etc. This might not be what helps you, but hearing that you know there is an issue is the first step, and you’re already there.

I second what Dennis said above - check in with your endo about ratios, etc. But also make sure this endo is working for you. If they’re not communicating with you the way you want, or they’re not educating you to take care of yourself, find someone who does support you. Find an endo who will give it to you straight, but then give you the tools to help yourself.

And always know, you have us here. We’ve all been or are going through a rocky patch. This isn’t something you can take on alone. And you’re strong for reaching out.


Hi Connor

I understand your struggle. I had similar issues around the same age. I actually had a severe episode of DKA at 21 and that led me to the pump.

Personally my struggle was that I felt the same as you. There were things I wanted to do and goals I had but I struggled to convert that to caring better for myself. And I got to the point where I was ashamed to go to the doctor.

Keep fighting. You will find your personal strength. You just have to decide that enough is enough and figure out what your motivation is. You can do it. You are still young and can prevent andblkmit side effects.

Hi Michael @Mjhaskin, I can relate not going to any doctor - I didn’t visit a doctor from age 21 to 25. What motivated me then was I got married and an explicit, but unsaid, agreement was that I’d begin to take proper care of myself. A good wife was my motivation then, and 53 years later is still my strength.

But an expansion, anyone with TypeOne must become his/her own primary care “doctor”. At most, even those of us to have endocrinologist appointments every three month only spend at most an hour a year with that doctor. I live in my skin own at least 8,760 hours most years and I want to keep it that way so I’ve learned how best to manage MY diabetes - yes, I regularly [at least four times a year] visit with, listen to and share my methods with an outstanding endocrinologist.