Mental Block?

Hi, I’m Alyssa and I’m new to this forum. I was looking for stuff online to help with my struggles with diabetes. I am not new to diabetes, I’ve had it since I was 5 years old, and I am now 17. I am off to college next year, and I need to be able to manage my diabetes by myself.
When I say I have a mental block, I mean that it’s almost like I pretend like I don’t have the diabetes. I will eat food or notice that my blood sugar is high and can’t get myself to get up and actually get the insulin. I have started to talk to a psychologist, but that can only do so much. I thought that if I talk to other people with t1d that you guys would have more personal advice for me. I want to get this under control but I am stuck. I hate to be a downer about having diabetes but I don’t know how to be independent with it and get myself to actually take care of myself.
When it comes to other things in my life, I am very organized. I keep on top of my grades, I make sure I am successful in every other way, but when it comes to diabetes, it is the opposite. My doctors always tell me I am a smart girl and that they know I am capable of taking care of myself, but I have really hit a block.
Any advice?

Hi @ace.xoxo and welcome to the forum. You want to hear from others your own age so I’ll keep this short and sweet.
First key me just congratulate for managing so well, so far; and also extend congratulations and best wishes for your college prospects. Many people do find counseling helpful but a good part of that is having a counselor you can connect with. The rest is up to you, but having the right person can help you get to “the rest.” So if you don’t feel the one you’re with now is helping, feel free to look around.
I understand there are groups for diabetics on many college campuses, and I imagine they coordinate something even if distance learning is in place; so look into that too. Wishing you the best.

@ace.xoxo Welcome, Alyssa, to the JDRF TypeOneNation Forum! You may have arrived at the right place for suggestions from experienced PWD about overcoming your roadblock and improving your diabetes management skills. I’m not a medical professional, but I will offer you some ‘professional advice’ gained during my seven decades living with my diabetes. Keep in mind that everyone is different, but I was just about in the same boat where you find yourself when I ventured off to college.

You’ve got the smarts, and during the last 8 - 10 years I expect that you have learned some of the finer points [if you want a refresher here, let me know] of insulin therapy and guessing the quantity of carbohydrates that you are consuming, how certain activities affects your BGL [Body Glucose Level] , and those really delicious meals that rocket your BGL into the stratosphere. So what you need now, is some motivation that entices you to apply all that information you’ve been storing in your brain. Yes, a counselor might be able to guide you, but most of what is needed is somewhere within you - you just need to find it and set a goal.

What woke me up to the awareness that I had to learn what this diabetes is, and how to care for myself was being recently married, then told I was to be a father, AND then being diagnosed with Retinopathy because I hadn’t taken care of my diabetes and would be totally blind within two years. I hope you don’t need that type shock to awaken you. You are headed off to college as a way to enhance your chances for moving into a chosen field - set your goal high and tell yourself that you will be the greatest ever in that field - and know that to enjoy the rewards for a long time, your diabetes must be managed well.

Best wishes for you!

@Dennis is an extremely wise contributor to the forum and something he said reminded me of a story I read many years ago: there was a young lady who did not want to take her insulin because because doing so made her different from her friends. She went into DKA at school and was rushed to the hospital by ambulance. The details are different from yours but what struck me most was that not managing her condition is what made her different. She could have gone through each school day with a few adjustments (due lack of a better word at the moment), just as someone with asthma might, and it may have become as routine for her friend’s as it was our could have been for her.
You are about to embark on the next stage leading to your life goals. Diabetes doesn’t have to stop you from achieving them but you need to care for yourself. Do what you need to do to get mentally back on track and have good habits in place so you can settle into the college experience with that in place.

Hi @ace.xoxo and welcome. This conflict in your head will lead you in the right direction. If I can guess, I bet the thoughts of complications and health issues feels cringey and uncomfortable and you’d rather not. Then you observe your own behavior you can’t help but thinking about complications. If that’s even remotely close, then the struggle within is because your thoughts and your actions are not aligned. Talking about it and with a therapist and if you like, with us, is the best move - and talking and thinking will help guide you on this journey. You are about to emerge and begin a time of acceptance. That’s a good thing. Anybody with T1 goes through a version of this. You are not alone. The struggle is real. Cheers and good luck :four_leaf_clover: