This is my first time on here but I don't know any other diabetics to ask! I'm a woman in my late 20's-T1 for 20 years. I've had boyfriends, but sometimes I'm not interested in dating, I just want to have sex! (I can't believe I'm saying that out loud!) I always feel like I need to explain and even apologize for my CGM; I used to be on the pump but went off after College because I hated explaining it to guys- I'm fine telling them I'm diabetic but hate having a physical marker.
I definitely have a complex around my diabetes, which Iām working on in therapy. I have truly no idea where I got the notion that having a little machine attached to me makes me unattractive (no guy has ever said anything to me) but I find myself planning when I might hook up with someone around when I change my CGM, so I can just take it off, which feels crazy.
Iām wondering if anyone else has struggled with self-acceptance, or has any tips for how to feel sexy even when you have a CGM or pump attached. I now think having T1 makes me capable and strong, and anyone who doesnāt see that isnāt worth my time, but when Iām hooking up or having sex I really struggle to be okay with the visible marker of my diabetes. I may have some core beliefs about what a woman is supposed to look like that are getting in the way, but if anyone has dealt with this and come to love themselves naked with a CGM or pump on, I would love some support!
My name is Brandon A. Denson. Iāve had T1D for 14 years. From high school, college, football, and traveling I definitely understand where youāre coming from. You own your diabetes never forget that. No one should judge people but in this day in age you never know what youāll get. Youāre as cool, sexy, fun, attractive, awesome, dope, beautiful as you allow yourself to be. If people want to look at you funny or act different towards you because youāre taking the ultimate measures to stay healthy dealing with T1D, you donāt need them around. Do YOU be YOU, no matter what. If people canāt accept what you deal with and go through then itās time to cut ties, no hard feelings but just no time for bafoonary lolā¦ If you have any questions feel free to connect. Take care.
Thank you Brandon @denson28y for forcefully and compassionately writing what I had been trying to put into words.
Yes clare @c999 you own your diabetes and there isnāt anyone with the power to take it from you - live your life to its fullest the way you feel like living and never feel less of yourself because you have been āblessedā with diabetes. In the 60 years that I have lived with diabetes, I have managed [not always well but I learn from mistakes] to make diabetes fit into whatever I desired to do - just ask my wife of half a century, our kids and our grandkids. OK, now in my late 70ās having had diabetes since I was a teen, Iām slowing down a bit.
You can ABSOLUTELY be sexy. Iāve been married 50 years and I think sexy may be a state of mind that shines thru. Have you ever met anyone and thought heās ok, but the more you talk to him you discover he really is sexy. If he is a good guy he wonāt care if you have a CGM if he is a Techno wizard heāll love it, if he is a jerk nothing you can do about that he is still a jerk. Your CGM is part of you if he enjoys you the CGM is no biggie. The only thing is to be careful where you put it, except if itās is in a strange place ,you might have to be a little more creative. Just kidding , be your wonderful, spectacular, brilliant , Happy self, what guy wouldnāt want that. PS: Your CGM could be body jewelry. Hope that helps. Bye for now Jan
Hi Clare!
As a dating woman, I completely know where you are coming from. I was very concerned about what a guys reaction would be. What a turn off right? I had a really hard time dealing with it myself. What if they reach around and feel it and then pull away like thereās something wrong with you or getting all dressed up and you can see my pod through my dressā¦ things like that. I felt it ruined my whole outfit. I know it sounds petty but it was and is still a real fact. I finally embraced the fact that I have diabetes and I have to wear my pump period. Any guy who wants to get to know me and be with me, has to embrace it too. Any guy that has a problem with it, isnāt the guy for me. Itās a confidence thing tooā¦ you have to feel good in your own skin and when you can do that, no insulin pump is going to matter one way or the other. No one knows the struggle Type 1 people have. So donāt stress about it girl! Itās not worth it!
Oh Yes Clare @c999, both Lisa @imlisajb and Janice @JaniceD say almost exactly my thoughts - we are loved for who we are and for how we live. I havenāt been in the ādating gameā for many, many years [Iāve been married for 51 years] but as I look back āpersonalityā was the most important draw for me - what was in a girlās heart and mind came first.
Sure, I didnāt need to think about where to hide a pump or GM because it would still be many years before they were invented. Let your personality shine Clare and if he is worth pursuing he will accept the fact that you have diabetes.
Being sexy is hard for anyone (if you ask me) hahaha. I donāt think I can be sexy even if I didnāt have my pump on. But with that said!!..I completely understand how you feel. The decision to let someone judge you based on what is attached to you , is just that, itās your decision. Itās easier said than done. It will take time to be comfortable and it will take literally the right person to look past that. I took a break from my pump when I started dating my boyfriend, for a couple different reasons, but I cannot lie, insecurity was one of them. After being on shots and not at all hiding those around him, I started to realize that he knows that diabetes is something I control and that sometimes I need help and a little medical device on my body is not a huge red, ugly mark on my skin that would deter him. I am back on an insulin pump (OmniPod) and soon will be on a CGM, as well. And he still loves me
