kay im in a video class at my highschool and i like this guy (name not mentioned) and he was my fake boyfriend in our project. well i like him but he doesnt know i have diabetes. im kinda scared to sk himout because i dont know what will happen when he finds out about the diabetes.
Im only scared because someone asked me out and then took it back because they found out i had diabetes.
can anyone help me out?
=]
Jackie,
I realize my thoughts will be suspect because they come from someone who is (from a high-schooler’s perspective) old and out of touch, however, I offer my insight as one who has a pretty good rearview mirror.
If you were my daughter, you liked this boy and thought him to be a good catch, I’d say "ask him out." I'd suggest you tell him you’d have asked sooner but that you’ve had your head a little twisted around dealing with your diabetes lately.
It brings the D up early and it is honest and it gives you a chance to find out some important things about him right away.
So you are clear, the rejection you got previously did not reveal any failure of yours or put a spotlight on any of your failures – though it most assuredly put a light on some reasons you shouldn’t have dated that person...
I wish you a lot of luck and I hope you keep us in the proverbial loop!
Cheers,
A-D
I expect your peers will weigh in on this one, too... so don't panic if you find yourself thinking "wow - this guy is no help, whatever!"
You should tell him before you ask him out!! The way I would tell someone if I didnt know them would probably be when i was talking to them i would just all of a sudden be like oh i got to eat really fast becasue my blood sugar is low!! and then they will know you are diabetic dont keep talking about it but they will probably ask when you say your blood sugar is low and you just say yep i am a type1 diabetic!! and if they treat you different after they find out then i would not ask them out but if he treats you the same then i say ask him out !! It is always good to be honest with that person before things get to seriuos!! or they might t be mad that you thought that they would treat you different and they will think that you dont trust them!! I hope that this advice works!!
2 problems:
problem 1: I tried to ask guys out before and it never worked out...
problem 2: like before mentioned im scared...... really scared..
as a guy I've always done the asking out and I was up front about being diabetic. It's a little harder for you to be the girl asking the guy out when you also have the D-bomb to drop on him as well. But that could work to your advantage..ask him out however you feel is best, and say something like "sorry if me asking you like this is too up front, but I really like you and before anything got too serious I wanted to let you know that I'm diabetic" etc etc. If he's right for you and things were meant to be, then he will understand everything..if not, then he's not worth your time
Jackie I don't think there is a clear cut way to go about it, but I would suggest you someone how let him know you have diabetes then ask him out. I'm sure it's scary but that's all part of it. Also, I think the older you get the less likely it is someone wouldn't want to date you because you have diabetes (in your situation it sounds like the kid just didn't understand what diabetes is). Good luck.
hi! I agree with what alot of the others are saying, I think what brian said about how if he does not want to be with you because of your diabetes then he is not worth it! Also I assume it does get eaiser as you get older, people are generally not as accepting in high school!!
I would use it as a way to talk to him and get to know him. Ask him if he knows anything about Type 1 diabetes. The more educated someone is on the subject (in my experience) the more welcoming they are to the whole thing!
I recently started getting to know a new guy and he asked about a million and a half questions, but I loved it! I told him that the more he knew the less he would wonder! hope all goes well for you!!!
Jenny, nice to hear the "new guy" story! I agree with you about people in high school vs older people, although I am definitely out of the dating loop right now - I've been married for 13 years!
Ask him out go on your date and then bring it up in conversation. I agree with the above people if he doesn't understand or get it or cringes... He is not worth it. But, maybe if you tell him in a way that he will understand that it wont be such a big deal for him. Are you on shots or a pump.
If you are on shots it may be a little more difficult for him because a lot of people are queezy when it comes to needles. but thing is if he isn't comfortable you don't have to do it in front of him.
If you are on a pump its just a matter of pressing a button and checking your blood and you can also do that discretely as well.
This is why we need more diabetes awareness so people can understand that umm we do this to live, it isn't a joke and without taking our insulin or take care of ourselves we die bottom line.
For instance, my 3 yr old cousin walked in on my when i was changing my insulin pump and he asked what is that. So I tell him, that is my medicine. He says why do you need medicine? I said so I don't get sick and have to go to heaven. He tells me I don't want you to go to heaven take your medicine, Gina.
This is a 3 yr old, if he can understand so can everybody else. He even asked me if he can press the button to give me medicine, of course I did not let him but I did think that whole conversation was pretty adorable. Maybe a bit off topic but I thought I would share.
Been there, done that.
Ask him out, don't worry about your diabetes. Honestly, I had friends in highschool who didn't find out until a year into our friendship(mind you my close friends knew..but I didn't go around telling people, besides my teachers, about it). It doesn't make you any different from other people except that you have to somewhat watch your diet and take needles/have a pump, and sometimes need sugar and a bit of help when that happens.
Your diabetes has nothing to do with your crush, so you shouldn't worry about it :) The person you mention before, was obviously a moron. If he asks you about it, then yes, tell him about it (one thing I always did right off the bat was go "its not adult-onset! it's not the kind the media ALWAYS and ONLY talks about on the news!")..but you don't have to go "Hey I have juvenile diabetes..will you go out with me?"
Go for it girl! And let me know what happens!!
i dated a guy who didn't know at first then about a week into dating him he and i decided to have breakfast together. i had to do my test and shot. he looked at me and said wait you are diabetic? i didn't know that. he then started asking a million questions. after that he didn't even bother me with that.
If everyone else is the same as me, we're all asking "And then???" Keep us all updated!
letsa just say im still single. i chickened out ofcourse
Well, I don't see why anyone wouldn't want to date you just because you have diabetes. . . That's nonsense! It's not like it's a contagious disease or anything. . . This guy you like might find it interesting that you have diabetes. And you having diabetes could help spark up a conversation. The only reason why he wouldn't be interested is because diabetes is a difficult disease. You may find out that he doesn't want to deal with someone who has the burden of a chronic disease on their shoulder 24/7. I'm glad I found my boyfriend before I was diagnosed. The dating world would have been a lot different for me if I had found out that I had the disease sooner.
As a veteran of the dating process while having diabetes, I can say that my advice is to go ahead and ask the guy out. When it comes up, state it plainly that you're a diabetic and explain the details. Chances are, if he cares, he'll want to know as much as he can about it. There's always the chance that he doesn't, but in that case it wasn't really someone you'd want to be involved with anyhow.
Diabetes isn't (or shouldn't be) a debilitation to dating. I've found when you find someone that really cares about you, talking with them about it and bouncing stuff off them about management is actually amazingly helpful and sometimes oddly insightful. Never be hesitant about letting people know. I've found that nearly everyone I've ever dated has had someone involved with type I in some way, be it a friend, a relative, a housemate, someone. And they just wanna know how best they can assist you. I've never had someone say that diabetes was a deal breaker and I hope against hope that nobody on this board ever has either. I know that sometimes it feels like having the disease makes you feel like you're very different, but the more I live the more I find that almost everyone has something pertaining to their health, their emotions, their psychology or something that they're working through. Diabetes is just more tangible. So, take heart in knowing that everyone has a cross to bear. It really makes it feel like a more even playing field, especially when it comes to dating.
Best of luck!
if someone doesnt want to be with you souly because of the fact that youre a diabetic, you dont need them in your life. and can do better. somebody likes you for you, the whole you, and who you are.diabetes is part of who you are, and someone will love you all the same, low, high, grouchy, or anything, if they REALLY care about you
Dylan,
You would think that as you get older people would not want to go out with you because of diabetes but I have found in my personal experience that although that may be true for some people others as they get older may be more open because most people actually develop some type of a disease as they age and may then have more exposure and therefore more understanding of being chronically ill.
I guess what I am trying to say is do not be concerned about age and dating with diabetes. That is not the worst of it. Just try to take care of yourself and have as much fun as possible while pursuing your goals (dreams) and you will do fine in all areas of your life.
I think you should treat your diabetes like anything else in a dating relationship, don't force it. During a date, I've found people eat at some point, and this makes a good time to say "oh I need to take my insulin" or something like that. If you treat it like it is something to be ashamed of you send the signal its ok to think diabetes is weird. If you are still worried about asking the guy out, take it from a guy's perspective, most of us are scared to ask girls out. It can feel nice to know "yes this girl likes me". One tip for the date if you have a pump: let them know early on its a pump. One girl thought I kept checking my pager because I was bored.
Unfortunately I understand the situation Jackie is in. As much as diabetes isn't and shouldn't be a debilitation to dating, it can be.
Some people view diabetes as a disease. Doesn't matter what the effects of the disease are, or how it's obtained, or what it does, you're 'damaged goods'. That's a horrible way of describing it, but that's the way some people see it.
That said, this viewpoint is absolutely incorrect.
Jackie, those that view you this way are not worth your time or effort. You need to stand up and say "I'M DIABETIC", turn around and look at the people around you who haven't run away, and then chat them up, mark some as friends, and fall into love just like anyone else.
If nothing else, it's an easy way to weed out the shallow guys. ;)
As others said, I would ask him out.
I will say the dating process is still a bit new to me with Diabetes. Thankfully, they seem to find out through conversation before we even go out. For instance, I have known a guy at my work(same building, different department) for the last few months. We would chit chat quite often, but nothing else. On Wednesday night he suddenly noticed my pump(he said he never noticed it before, I doubt it). He asked me if it was my phone. I told him nope, just my insulin pump. He asked a few more questions afterwards(do I check my BG a lot, is it attached 24/7 etc), but it didn't phase him at all. I didn't go into great detail, I just told him the basics, and only went as far as answering the questions he asked. At this point, that is all he needs to know. He still asked for my number before my shift ended, and we have a 'date' Sunday night. In a way, I am happy he asked about my pump, because now he knows...and it is not big deal.
I know this may not be what you want to hear. But just remember, someone who can't look past the diabetes is probably not worth the trouble anyways.