So I've been diabetic since exactly a month after my 13th birthday, so this is only my 4th year. I had great sugars before this year and I even had a year and a half honeymoon. But this year I moved out of the house and into a boarding school that is basically college for nerds. Now my A1C is around 10...something I'm not proud of. But I find that when I eat, my blood sugar is already high and so I take 10 units of insulin no matter what I'm eating because it's hard to find low carb meals here.
I am a huge social justice activist and so this year I organized and led a Planned Famine. It is basically a 24 hour fast. This year alone I did one with my youth group and the one that I led. My blood sugars were the best they've been all year when I wasn't eating. You don't have to tell me this is a stupid idea but I have thought about anorexia as a solution, but to be quite honest I love eating too much. Still, I feel like that's not something I should even be considering.
In the last like two days I have just woken up depressed because of diabetes. And I'm a freaking hypocrite too. When I was a junior counselor at Girl Scout camp there was this one diabetic girl whose sugars were out of control and I got to work especially with her. She altered my life so much. I said I go to a nerd boarding school, and that is no stretch. It is a special school for science and math and now I'm planning to go into pre med biochem and work on research in diabetes. So how can I say that's what I'm going to do and I'm doing this for Payton, when I suck at being diabetic myself.
Diabetes is consuming my thoughts and I know I should test but I just don't want to. It's not because it hurts too much or it is too hard, I just can't bring myself to do it. I'm glad I found this site because I don't like feeling so low, not blood sugar wise though.