Screaming mad

ok I am not screaming but I am trying to keep this rated G and I am very very mad. I was at the school today during lunch and I asked Riley if the staff in there during lunch had ever made her throw her lunch away before she was finished since she has been dxed. Her answer was "YES they dont know I am diabetic" It took everything i had not to flip out. After saying bye to her i waled to the councilers office and told her i was requesting a formal 504 plan and health care plan. She thought it was about the stupid school nurse not wanting to train on the glucagon. I informed her why on top of that and she said she would get right on it. Momma bear is done playing games. I already contacted my local-est jdrf branch for help on the nurse. The lady informed me if the nurse still gives me trouble they do have a lawyer available for such matters :) I am printing out so much information on the laws as it is they wont know what hit them. I will not sign anything until I am 100% satisfied with it. I know the staff I talk to almost daily are on my side about this is ridiculous. Unless they want to start paying me day in and day out to be there to do their jobs stuff better change and fast! Okay mini vent there I could surely go on about how upset i am right now.

I would like to add my daughter is the shiest kid you will ever met. She isnt one to stand up for herself against adults she is told she has to listen too. I have tried to get her to understand and make sure she tells them if they tried this lunch thing but she didnt. She also didnt tell me until I asked. She hates getting into trouble and avoids it at all cost. I hate that she feels this was at school only mind you she will tell me no no problem lol.

the same ( or similar things) happen in my school .. i was diagnosed in 3rd grade so there have been alot of stories/ issues. wel for 1 in 3rd grade ( when i was diagnosed) my parents wanted to know when every kid was celebrating their birthday and what they were having so my parents can plan accordingly for me . the teacher never told my parents and the school actually wAs on our side. also in middle school i was buying a snack and i was buying 2 small cups of ice ( each like 12 carbs each) and i needed 25 carb for example .. the cafeteria lady told me i cannot buy 2 because that isnt allowed  i then explained i was diabetic and needed a certain number of carbs. then she said you cant have ice cream if your diabetic theres sugar.. one she clearly didnt know anything  about diabetes. my parents were pissed she didnt know . then this ones the best.. last year in class ( 10th grade) we had a sub and i went to bolus for lunch and the substitute teacher saw and told me to bring up my cell phone right now and was going to take it. i thought it was very funny and tried to explain that it was an insulin pump and he didnt believe me ...

i guess the point of this is the schools staff is limited in their knowledge and a 504 plan can be extermely helpful i have one and the schools have to abide by it so i guess its the best way to go.. let me know how it goes 

First time any teacher gives her any grief once she gets her pump is the day I go to jail because I will slap someone silly. Idiots! Yeah there will not be any of this going on any more or they will see me there daily.

My heart goes out to you and YOU GO GIRL for all that you are doing!!! I don't even know your school district and they already have me mad!! It just breaks my heart to know that any of our children who just want to go to school and be a "normal" as possible have to deal with these "issues" just because school staff either doesn't want to do their job or they THINK they know the answers when actually they don't!! You are definitely doing the right thing by getting Riley a 504 plan in place and honestly make sure you put EVERYTHING you want in it. You'd rather be safe than sorry.... It makes me mad (and sad) to hear any parent having issues/troubles with their childs school. Especially schools that have multiple children that are T1's.... We are luckily enough to have a WONDERFUL school nurse and the entire school staff. Even though Shyla is the only T1 in a school of over a 1000 students the principal made sure every staff member (including the janitors) had knowledge in diabetes....

One other thing, Jess, if you aren't getting anywhere with the school, then go to the School District office. I've always been a firm believer that no ones going to listen if you don't make some noise!! and when it comes to our children we CAN and WILL make as much "noise" as possible!!! Also, there should be a Support Worker either at the school or that represents the school and she/he is required to help you with any issues/problems that you are having...

Best of luck and PLEASE keep us all informed. You and yours are in our thoughts and prayers....You ARE a STRONG momma and i know in the end you WILL get what is best for Riley...

Thanks, yeah I have multiple numbers for district people to call if I need too. I am going to get the 504 going and if they dont comply to her basic diabetic care needs then I will play hard ball. I will straight up tell the nurse the next time she talks to me will be through a lawyer. I will own her if she will not follow not only federal laws but state laws as well. If she isnt comfortable delegating the use of the glucagon then it is the districts responsibility to hire a different nurse to do so that is educated in diabetes. I am over it and will not play this nurses games.

I don't have any answers for you but just wanted to say you are a great mom. Don't let anyone get in your way of keeping your little girl safe and healthy.  You should be very proud of yourself!! 

Thank you!

There may be people in the district waiting for you to make some demands to shake up and wake up some people (not that I know anything about that :-) ).  Sometimes, there are situations that an insider (school employee) can't do anything about because of district politics.  I takes parents being strong and consistent advocates to change things sometimes. You maybe the excuse they need.

Hi Jessica,

As someone who is a Diabetic with an very protective Mom, and who has experience in how school administrators and officials work, I would suggest a different tactic. Be careful throwing the L word (lawyer) around so quickly, as that can very easily make you an 'enemy' that they have to deal with (as a lawsuit is a very scary thing for schools, especially public ones), instead of a partner in your daughter's care and education.With this being so new to you and your family, I totally understand how scared and angry you are, and it's completely normal. But instead, give them a chance to get educated and learn what your daughter needs. It is unbelievable how many people are ignorant about what diabetes is and our needs (Division 1 head team doctors and athletic trainers wondering if you're contagious?), and you are in a very unique position to positively bring a change in attitude and practice to the school/district that will benefit everyone's children who are going through something like this.

The most important thing is, however, to know that your daughter will be absolutely, 100% OK. If we live our lives and and a mal-functioning pancreas is the worst thing that happens, we will live a full and blessed life. Diabetes is a very controllable condition, and it should never NEVER stop her from doing anything that she wants to do. I played 3 years of college football with it, and there are many more stories of much more impressive things done by people who have Diabetes. Now as a mentor and coach of young athletes with Diabetes, I see both the intentional and unintentional discrimination by people who are flat-out ignorant, and it will be your job to make sure your daughter does not get discouraged by these types of people. Make sure she continues all of her activities, and encourage her to continue to try new stuff and activities and sports as much as she can.

Good luck - you're going to need it. She's in a difficult age regardless, and now a new wrench is in the gears...but remember, she'll be just fine.

I know that is what it is with the principle. He wants to do more heck he said he would go to the doctors wit us for the doc to train him as a friend so I would feel comfortable with her at school. I also know he took it as far as he could. The sad thing is there are 3 other t-1 kids there. Yeah they are all on pumps but still grr. It makes me so mad this nurse has been pulling this on parents. I honestly think she is not on our side and trying to avoid doing her job. She told the councilor that we didnt need a formal health plan let alone a 504 plan. That the health care plan from our case worker was good enough. Except she wont follow that because on that is the order to use the glucagon.

What a frustrating situation. 

I don't have any advise, but I wanted to say your daughter is so lucky to have a mama bear like you!

Debbi

Thanks Debbi

We'll, time to call the federal government to make the point. This is no different than pushing someone out of their wheelchair because they are supposed to stand for the pledge. 

Here is the phone number for filing discrimination violations:

U.S. Department of Justice Civil Rights Division 950 Pennsylvania Avenue, N.W. Disability Rights Section - NYAV Washington, D.C. 20530

www.ada.gov

(800) 514-0301 (voice)

Based on what the new Amendment 2008 Act for the Americans with Disabilities Act states, to bar you daughter from doing the normal activities required for her stay alive, the teacher and the school needs to learn that the MUST accommodate your daughter.  

Beyond, discrimination, this may be classified as an assault under CO law. This was a physical threat on your daughter, which means that calling the police may even be appropriate to protect your daughter.

It is a great civil case for a discrimination lawyer in your area, the school may not know it, but they may have opened their pockets for the taking if they do not act on this ASAP.

I've said my spiel and as you may read in this, in my 40 years as a T1D, I've been in her shoes and only in the last 20, have I taken the proper steps to education in return wherever possible.

Let us know how it goes. Do take a few deep breaths before you step in to the school. I'm behind you!

wow...you love lawsuits sjw, and that's not the way to handle this (or, for that matter, not the way to handle most reasons people use them) after one month. This is not discrimination, it is ignorance and a stupid nurse who will probably lose her job because she doesn't want any more responsibilities. and where was the assault? There is no reason to get the police involved either.

Jessica, this early it is more important to get more of the administration on your side, like the principle is. Don't forget, even at this young age, you're daughter is learning how to cope with this disease, and keeping her overcoming obstacles positive any time you can will be a great lesson for when she grows up and has to do this on her own. Focus on the positive, and know you have plenty of support from those of us who have been through this and have come out of the other end better people than if we didn't have these obstacles.

Thanks I know everyone handles things differently and I wasnt ready to bring the cops into it at all. I want them to stay on my side and friendly. I was actually coming to say its not as bad as it seemed at first. Most of it actually is Rileys fault or rather that she is so shy. They never made her throw her lunch away directly. The staff said "time to go" to everyone and she includes herself in that because they are adults telling her what to do. So despite the fact that I have told her you finish your lunch and nobody can tell you to hurry or throw it away she is following the rules of the school to listen to the staff. I am going to have the principle talk to Riley at lunch along with the staff that is normally in there so she knows they know she HAS to finish her lunch and that she is not included when they say "time to go"

 

As for the nurse that will still be a battle but one I have no doubts I will win with a SMILE on my face.  I know how to play the game she is playing and still keep the right guys on my side.

Sorry you're going through this! From your post, it seems like the school needs EVERY little thing spelled out in writing. (i.e. your daughter needs her full meal, they can't stop her from eating, they can't stop her from testing, etc, etc.). It's too bad that nowadays, schools can't be more flexible and caring. I worry about the kids whose parents aren't as involved who have the same condition. Obviously, most of it will be on her 504, but they may need additional guidance about what it MEANS.

Well said Adam. I did come off a "bit" aggressive in my diatribe (play on words). It comes from just what you mentioned, ignorance. After being fired, not hired, challenged and threatened for doing what a T1D has to do to deal with our daily challenges for the last 40 years, I do get protective. 

I have never sued any one and have no intention of doing so; however, just as I'm sure you are with the kids you mentor & coach, I do get protective of any T1D who may be discriminated against (as now described in the ADA, Amendment 2008 Act. )

Although it does not sound like it now, if any T1D, is told that they cannot eat somthing when they have to, to avoid a hypo, that may be an assault.

Your advice is solid and the kids you work with are the real winners. 

Jessica, it sounds like you are on the right track and I'm behind you. BTW, good info on the JDRF resources, I'm glad to hear they are helping you out.

 

sjwprod I can so understand where your strong feelings come from with this type of thing. When I reading about kids having their pumps yanked on by teachers my first thought is if I was there parent hold me back cause I am going to kick some butt. I have not been in a physical fight since high school and have no plans to really do so but it makes me see red when I read of that sort of thing.

Thanks I am going to do what it takes to educate them all on t-1's and their care. It really is crazy that they dont know much of anything. The first week back to school I will still pretty unsure of things. I almost let them walk all over me and even worse Riley. I dont think most of the staff is anything but uneducated but the nurse she knows and is trying to do as little as possible with all of this.

You go girl!  We have to do what we have to do to protect our kids.  I am fortunate that my school nurse is wonderful, and my son's teacher's are wonderful, but I know that there's no guarantee it will always be that way.  You keep fighting for your girl.  There's no reason at all that any of us should have to accept ignorance from the school nurse, or anyone else in school for that matter.

Oi I am so tired but will keep fighting for her. I have no clue why the school is so helpful with my boys and not Riley. Now if I could get doctors to be helpful with my boys I would be good to go lol. Bad day today sorry. I will keep fighting and kicking for all my kids.