I am curious if any other parents have had issues with their child's school. Our daughter's vice principal and principal dislike that I go to her classroom to check on her every day when picking her up. They refuse to realize how diabetes can be affected by so many outside stressors, even though we have explained this very clearly to both of them. They also attempted to have her tester kit kept in the school office, which is down two flights of stairs from daughter's classroom. That was a very short-lived attempt, on their part. Now, the fight is to keep me away from her classroom. They spout safety, fire regulations, etc. Meanwhile, fire exits have bags of garbage sitting in them, waiting to be taken out. Tiles are broken off the stairs. Other parents come and go at will. Needless to say, I have continued to go to her classroom because I feel it is in my daughter's best interest that I do so. Her teacher and I have a great relationship. It is the administration staff who refuse to understand the full ramifications of this disease.
Oh, and we live in Newfoundland, which supposedly has the highest rate of T1D in all of Canada. Yet, my child is the only one of 700 students in the school with it. I expected the school system here to be even more accomodating than the province we came from, due to its high rates of T1D. I was wrong.
We were fortunate to have a very understanding and supportive school staff as Cassie went through elementary school. Even so, there were times when we had to "get in their face" to stress the importance of checking blood sugars or allowing caches of snacks throughout the school in case she got low. We found that continual reminders and meetings helped to get the point across. Constant communication led to better understanding.
Diabetes puts moms and dads like us in the uncomfortable situation of being the "difficult parent" in the eyes of the school. But you know what? No one can be a better advocate for our kids than us. If that means you have to put up with snide stares as you check sugars, so be it. It's necessary and I believe that it's worth it.
I think you're doing the right thing.
One thing you want to keep in mind is: how will your child take on some of this responsibility herself at school? Our daughter kinda grew into it and derived a level of esteem from it: www.daddybetes.com/.../back-to-school.html
Thanks, Red. I will read your link. Darian has been diabetic for one year. She's in grade five. She does do all the testing and the occasional injection at school, with no complaints. The injections are supervised in the office, as there is no nursing staff at her school. Darian is very good with the whole process. I am fortunate that she is very aware of when she is low and tests and treats herself properly. She rarely needs supervision or help.
Unfortunately, the administration doesn't think I should have daily access to my child and her teacher. Her teacher doesn't mind at all. In fact, an incident happened in class yesterday, with other children who were teasing my daughter, that I may not have been informed of -- had I not taken the time to build a good relationship with her teacher. Yes, it had to do with her diabetes. Classic example of why I like to see her teacher every day.
When I have to speak with the administration, it would be more productive to speak to the wall. I believe a wall would be far more understanding, certainly caring, than they are. Despite the detailed diabetic information we have given them, the administration, for some reason, thinks they know what is best for my daughter's medical condition. Yet, they admit to knowing nothing about diabetes, other than what we have told them. It is like they refuse to believe how serious diabetes can be.
We moved this year. In her previous school, there were never any issues. If she felt she needed me, I was welcome any time during school hours. If her teachers had concerns, they were happy I was so willing to come and help them.
Needless to say, I am very frustrated. And most definitely the "difficult" parent! My child has no voice with people in authority. I don't mind being her voice. I mind that people can be so heartless over something as important as my child's life.
In the US we have 504 plans to help parents and schools clarify a child's heathcare needs. Not sure what options there are in Canada. www.childrenwithdiabetes.com/504
Is what you're doing helping your child or is it mostly to make you feel better? Think the hardest part of parenting any child is knowing when to give them freedom and when to step in. Since your daughter's diabetes is in good shape it may be okay to back off a little bit.
I had type 1 before starting kindergarten, and this was back in the 1970's before parents micromanaged as much as they do now. My mom would meet with my teacher at the beginning of the year to notify him/her of any special considerations I needed (the ability to test blood sugars at my desk, go to the office for a shot or snack, and how to treat a low). I did fine in school and didn't have any diabetic meltdowns.
I checked out the link you posted, jennagrant. If there is something like that in Canada, it hasn't been made available to us. I have surfed the school district's website and have found nothing this detailed.
Going in at the end of the day does help my child. For one simple reason: An open relationship with her teacher ensures that she tells me of any concerns throughout the day, whether Darian's color was off, seemed tired and draggy, or just off. Some days we simply talk rainbows and butterflies -- anything and everything but diabetes. Other days, she is busy and we just leave. Also, her teacher was quite nervous at the beginning of the year, despite written information regarding highs/lows, etc. I certainly wouldn't be comfortable looking after someone's child with a serious medical condition.
Does it make me feel better to personally pick her up? Of course it does. That being said, I have always gone in the school to pick up my children. Even before T1D struck our family.
My oldest daughter is in grade seven, and it was only in grade six that she asked to walk home from school with her friends. Children ask for freedom when they are ready for it. Mine are given that lee-way. Too many parents are willing to "dump and run", unwilling to ensure their children's safety. Unfortunately, the world has become an atrocious place, causing a need for "micro-managing" their safety. I choose to call it "caring and involved".
That's cool Shandra. Sounds like what you're doing is good for everyone. Sometimes parents of diabetics can get over protective.
You're right that kids definitely let you know when they're ready for more freedom. My son recently told me that now that he's in kindergarten he doesn't need me to come in with him anymore in the morning. I love that he's growing up, but I miss not getting to see his teacher and classmates every day.
There is no 504 plan in Canada. Mosly New Brunswick has a good protocol for children with Type 1 diabetes in school. There is a group in Ontario trying to get legislation passed but nothing yet.
I have the same issue with my son's school (which I have mentioned before on this board) and no matter what I do or what approach I take, I get no results. There are not understanding about times when he does not feel well due to low or high blood sugar, they have sometimes not allowed him in the room where THEY INSIST to keep his glucometer if a teacher or someone is in the room on the phone, etc...
They requested a detailed letter from his endocrinologist and she explained very eloquently about his diabetes, low/high blood sugars, the need to have access ALL THE TIME to fast acting sugar and his glucometer, ,etc.... and still I get nowhere.
I am not over protective but DO INSIST on the bare minimum for his safety!!! My older brother and father were both diabetics in elementary school and I at least remember my brother's elementary school (which I went to as well) respected my brothers conditioin and took it serious.
When the school tells my son, "Nevermind about your diabetes" when he needs to check his sugar, THAT IS UNACCEPTABLE.
My son's schoold DOES NOTHING, and the principal would NOT ALLOW a nurse to come to her school to give a brief presentation on diabetes being that my son is the only Type 1 diabetic in the school. The principal gave a picture of my son to all teachers and gave her brief explanation on what she thinks of diabetes and that was it!!!
I will pursue this matter since other issues such as asthma and allergies seem to be given great importance (and should be) but so should diabetes!!!
My daughter is only 3. Already this is a concern for me. I suppose I at least have the time to spend prior to choosing a school to find out how much cooperation the school will extend. I feel for you both. Good luck.
That's crazy how your son's school treats him and his medical condition. It is very scary that they are so unconcerned about something this important. Our situation is not quite that bad, thankfully. They did try to keep her meter kit in the office. I was very blunt that she needed to have it wherever she was. I gave them absolutley no choice on that one, especially because she would have to come down two flights of stairs, shaky, to use her tester. I hope you have some luck getting somewhere with your son's school. It's NOT acceptable for them to treat his serious medical condition that way.
I just looked at your post it brings back many frustrating memories. I live in the United States of America but there are programs in Canada also. Hang in there you can get help and you should get help. I worked long and hard to get the school to understand. It finally worked my daughter was the only one in her school with Type 1 and they have a great diabetes program now. They are thankful also because the school has approx. 500 children and they have 6 children with Type 1 diabetes now. I know we are on the JDRF website but the Candian Diabetes Association has help for you. Go to the website and type in safe at school it will give you a guide on how to talk with the school. It also will give you names of school advocates that will go with you to help the school understand how serious this disease is.
I'm so sorry for your difficulties w/your school. It reminds me how VERY fortunate to be in the school district that we are. My daughter was dx'd in Nov, 2010, in sixth grade. The vice principal, nurse and counselor were wonderful and remain so. It may help, too, that the VP is also T1 and the athletic director. We did have problems with the 6th grade teaching team, however. Mostly, though, because she was out of school for four months due to other complications that arose. She was placed on homebound studies and the school provided a home tutor. We did complete a 504, which unfortunately the team resented. They felt they were being accused of being insensitive. Two of them felt she should have repeated the grade. Whatever. By the way, she is an honor roll student, coaches 1st grade soccer and plays competitive basketball and soccer.
This year has been a completely different year with a new teaching team. We met with them, the principal and vice principal as well as the school social worker to review the 504 and create a plan. This plan included the expectations of our daughter, the school, and my husband and I. We all signed it. She needs to leave 2 classes early to test.....she is responsible for anything she may miss during that time. There have been absolutely no issues or backlash. She may keep her meter with her if she would like. She is allowed and encouraged to test whenever and wherever. If she feels low another student walks with her to the nurse and she keeps a "low snack" in her binder and with the PE teacher at all times.
I agree 100% with Red's post.....she has become a wonderful advocate for herself. I believe you are doing the right thing, as well. When our children see us advocate for them they begin to understand that it is okay and important for them to advocate for themselves. If we buckle to school issues then we show our kids that we just need to "suck it up and deal with it". That's not okay. Our advocacy may even help to educate them when we are allowed to work together as partners and as a team. Kids do let us know when they are ready for more responsibility. It is our job to give them that responsibility but not to force something on them that they may not be emotionally ready for. (sorry for the long post)
Good luck to you.....keep advocating for your child.
Thanks for the words of encouragement, Ann. They are greatly appreciated. Thanks to this site, I have found some good research tools and am getting organized for the next school. My husband is likely being transfered back to Alberta so our daughter will be attending a different school come fall. I am really keeping my fingers crossed that they will be more understanding and supportive than this school has been. If, by chance, he doesn't take the transfer, I will be finding a different school for her to attend.
Partly, we ARE so frustrated because her previous school was so supportive, it makes this one seem run by a communist party. Their communication is terrible -- even about simple things such as report cards coming home or booking parent/teacher interviews. I still have the odd run-in with office staff who aren't aware of the agreement with the principal/vice to pick my daughter up from her class. One was unprofessional enough to complain about me in front of my daughter's best friend! Plus, when we try to explain our needs, they don't listen which only aggravates the situation.
Even tho my daughter is too young yet for school, I feel for all of you. I have no advice to extend. Just a quote that I came across a few years back- before diabetes- but I LOVE it and I think it will help draw perspective and strength. It always has for me.
Here it is:
"A mother's love for her child is like nothing else in the world. It knows no law, no pity, it dares all things and crushes down remorselessly all that stands in its path." -Agatha Christie
Never quit, Shandra. The battle you fight is honorable and important, don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
I am appalled that in this time and world we live in things like this are still happening in our schools. Shandra, and all of the other parents, if I were in your shoes I would do the same exact thing. We have to be our own advocates and do whatever we can for ourselves and our children.
Jen I love that quote, it pretty much says it all! Keep fighting !!!
Although I'm in the southern US, I can understand how frustrated you are. When our son, who is also in grade 5, was diagnosed 5 months ago, we went through a horrible time with his school principal also. The teachers were WONDERFUL about it, even having recognized something was wrong before we did, but the new principal (replaced just that year) was another story. She actually REFUSED to give him the 504 plan mentioned earlier, stating that "they only do that if it affects his ability to do his schoolwork or his grades." It already was and I had two teachers who said as much. We actually ended up having to go over her head and go straight to the school board to get anything done. Then, we had the problem that because he was the only student in either the elementary school, or the junior high attached to it, who was diabetic then they had no school nurse on staff to handle his needs. She not only wanted us to keep him at home for an entire week until they could get one (which really took more like 2 months) but she also wanted him to leave his testing supplies and emergency kit in the nurse's station—stating that it was a risk to have needles accessible to students (because they could be construed as weapons). That argument didn't last long. There are now TWO sets of supplies, one kept with the nurse in her office, and one set kept on him at all times.
I support you in what you are doing. And say keep doing it. If they don't have a school nurse to help care for your child's needs then they can't deny you the right to do so...especially since she's so early in her diagnosis. I would also check with your local school system (or school board if you have one) and see if they have any say in the matter. We laid everything out to the lady in our school system and gave her a play-by-play of what transpired with his principal. Needless to say that his principal ended up eating dirt. We may be her least favorite people now, but she stays out of our way when it comes to our child. As bad as it sounds, sometimes the best course of action isn't always the nicest.