Question for mothers and dads with type 1 children

my son is 12  was dx in 2007  .he is on the insulin pump  we are doing good but now that he is getting older he wants to go to his friends now and birthday partys  he is invited to i already said no to one party he missed to because i didnt know the boys parents . yesterday he went to his first party but i have been talking to the boys mom and she is great she asked a lot of questions we did a trial for 2 hrs before the party  it went ok but my son told her he checked and he was ok when i got there he was 60 not bad but i know my son he loves to play and forgets he is a diabetic . the boys mom was great i let him go to party she called me every hour gave me report she made him check every 30 min when he was playing hard i let him stay the night . i guess what i am asking do i let him go it was a lot of work for the boys mom she said she didnt mind  but i feel when or if i let my son go to friends he has to be watched by a adult not all parents will do this for someone elses kid . he is not indepedent  yet we always have to watch him hw know what to to but play time is more fun, what do i do is there any one else that feel like i do

I feel your pain!  I get nauseous everytime my 8 year old comes home from school with a party invitation.  I still haven't allowed her to do a sleepover but she is only 8.  I didn't allow my other 2 non-D kids to sleepover at that age either.  One thing that I do for my daughter is to turn on a temporary basal of minus 30% while she is at the party.  I would rather let her run a little high for a few hours than have a low while I'm not there.

My other comfort is that she is usually surrounded by classmates at these parties. My daughter's classmates all know about her diabetes.  I am impressed by how well they take care of her. They make sure she eats all her food and they know they can't "share" any food with her because "she needs her carbs".

I wish I could give you some other advise to make you feel better.  I worry continually whle my daughter is at a party or playdate. I just keep reminding myself that she needs to be a kid first and a diabetic later.  I just do the best I can to keep her safe and pray alot!

Thank you!  My son has an invite to a Halloween party next week (First party since diagnosed) and I have been worried about what to do.  I told him that he could go but I was going to go with him.  He is ok with that but he also is only 8 and I really do not want to put too much pressure on the parents.  I really turst my son to do the right thing, but it's the "silent" or sudden lows that scare me....

its hard his first party after he got diagnosed was at school and then daycare right after when i picked him up from daycare that night he was 500 not got but my husband is a nurse so he got him down slowly it took a while up all night that night . so since that we dont celebrate halloween and this was the first party i let him go too . its hard when they get older cuz they dont want mom to tag along and other parents wont be as good as his friend and some parents are just scared . my brother is scared to take him its not easy but we will get through this i am glad i found this web site i thought i was alone .

Chasey is only 6 so we have not encountered sleepover parties yet and that's fine with me. She has gone to lots of bday parties though. Some parents are totally weirded out when you give them the heads up that Chasey is diabetic. Other parents take it in and deal with it without missing a beat. A lot of parties here take place outside the house, like playlands, community centres, etc, so I always speak to the staff there and give them a heads up and find out what their policy is for dealing with diabetic children. I also just check Chasey before she goes so that I know what her blood sugar is going in. If the party is close by I will just pop over there and bolus her when they eat or I will have her check her sugar before she eats and the number is saved in the pump and I will treat her as soon as I pick up. But I think that's because she is still young and most parties aren't more then two hours at the most and they either eat first thing and she wears it off or they eat at the end and I'm picking up right away. For school parties I just always volunteer to be a parent helper. They need them anyways so I just fit right in and all her classmates know me so it's nothing new to them. I know this way of dealing with parties isn't always going to work and that's alright, when the time comes we will battle our way through the change and hopefully come out the other side without missing too many social gatherings.

I was diagnosed at 12 and I also have a 8 year old who was diagnosed at the age of 5.  Gosh, to be painfully honest  I think you are overmanaging your child- by pure worry and love!!  It is good to be so on top of your childs diabetes but this is too much.  At the age of 12 and having diabetes for 3 years he should be able to tell when he is getting low.  I fear he will be resentful and eventually totally buck the system.  If you are checking before meals and 2 hours after it doesn't leave much time for trecherous lows in between.  At parties and when he is away from you manage perhaps by giving less insulin and letting his sugars run 200 for 24 hours.  In the big scheme of things it is not a big deal.  I have run marathons and my daughter swims on a swim team.  You can manage anything without your child feeling really different than their peers and without you feeling like a pain.  They are kids first and they live with diabetes second.  Give him a cell phone and text him a reminder to check and have him text back.  He absoulutely should not be denied a party or anything else because of his diabetes.  He needs to learn at home that anyting is possible with diabetes, including parties. 

my son can be 220 and 15 to 20 min later he is 40 . he like to play and not be a diabetic he does not feel his lows when he is busy with his friends or he doesnt want to not sure he wants to play i try to make him as independent as possible but he forgets so what do i do about that i let him go to the party and he went low twice but the friends mother checked him he didnt tell her he felt low . its not easy  even if i lower his insulin he still drops when he plays 

[quote user="MICHELLE"]

my son can be 220 and 15 to 20 min later he is 40 . he like to play and not be a diabetic  


Do those kind of drops happen every day or regularly? If so, I would make sure you have the pump settings fine tuned. I would also look at having him use a temporary basal of 50-100% less when he is playing hard. I think I am most concerned when you say "he likes to play and not be a diabetic.' Well of course! He is a kid first. Yes, he needs to learn to live with and properly care for his diabetes, but it shouldn't control what he does or who he is. He shouldn't have to learn to play differently because he has his diabetes - he just needs to eat something first!

I would mostly just ask the parents to keep a timer of when your son needs to test - and watch that he does it. But use the flexibility and the power of the pump to your advantage to help him thru parties and any other activities.

You might also like the book - Think Like a Pancreas - or there is one for diabetic athletes that might give you some ideas on how to manage carbs and his insulin for when he is playing. Because an 11 y/o boy playing hard is really exercising hard! Good luck.