I have an 18 year old son who was diagnosed with T1- 5 years ago. I basically tried to stay on him and help him as much as possible initially and he did pretty well. As the years have gone, he has basically just been in denial. He won't regularly check his blood sugars and gets mad at me when I ask him what his numbers are. I know that he doesn't tell me the truth about his numbers or whether he has taken his insulin because his numbers are so high. We have been in the hospital twice in the last two months. 1st time, his pump ran out of insulin and he went into dka, 2nd time, he got a stomach virus and then went downhill from there. How can I help him? I know I can't baby him and cook every meal and check his blood sugars for him, but how do I sit by and watch him not take responsibility? I know it's extremely difficult and exhausting, I've been doing this with him for the last 5 years.....Help
Oh my. You've brought me to tears. My 16 year old daughter was diagnosed when she was 12. The past for years have been, well...hell. Her noncompiance issues are horrible. And heartbreaking :( I can't imagine how she must feel...I'm sure you feel the same way about your son; you would take it away and put it on yourself in a second. Just this last week we were in the pediatric ICU in DKA. She had gotten her wisdom teeth out, which threw her for a loop I was told and also must have missed a lantus injection or 2 (due of course to noncompliance) and boom...DKA. Her sugar was only 300something when she got to the emergency room. I mean...she had gotten 300s more times than I care to remember over the years and had neeeeever been that sick. I've never been so scared in my whole life. When the doctor told me she was sick enough to die, I nearly had to sit on the floor and you know what...he didn't once tell me to calm down or say that it would be alright. I didn't take it as insensitivy on his part. Not as all...I took it as cold hard fact. It was so horrible. A few days later they discharged her home. I didn't want to take her home; isn't that ridiculous? But I kept thinking that if I could let it happen once, how could they trust me not to let it happen again? She's been pretty much awesome since then though and I'm prayting that she stays compliant and doesn't always have to fight me on eeeeeeverything.
I'm so sorry for you and for your son. I wish I could help you :( You've helped me just by having read your post. We are 2 sad moms aren't we...in the same boat and all that. Hopefully you have a good team in his doctor and staff...Asha's are wonderful. Still, it comes down to her (and him) doesn't it...their lives are in their hands, try though we might to help them.
Take care of yourself...if you don't, I've learned, you can't be much help to him.
I hope to talk to you again soon. And do I dare add on a hug? Yes I do (((hug)))
Hi
From everything I have heard and read the teen years are hell. My son was diagnosed at age 14 and just turned 16. Everything you have both said is exactly what we are living. You do the best can and more - provide the materials, support, reminders and still find out the pump alarm was ignored in school and the pump is empty. After a year of trying to get him to eat right and proving all the right foods I finally started to tell him " go ahead and have the hamburg or fries just bolus for it. Still he does not. I get imaginary numbers created to keep me appeased and when I check them and find he was 402 and not 102 I tell him again to just be honest but t falls on deaf ears. I am scared as many parents are - he is 16 - in two years he will be college and have no one to "remind him" he needs to bolus and then the thought of alcohol, and driving gives me more fear. I don't know where the turning point is but I pray its soon but I don't imagine soon enough.
Its very strange now - when he was first diagnosed - the first weeks - he hit 400 once and I had him in the ER immediatly. Now when he hits 400 its a ketone test and more insulin. I don't know if I have gotten lax or just lived with it more to see the signs.
Anyway, I know telling your both your not alone does not help much but maybe knowing it will show your teen is not rare in the actions they are taking. It seems to be something all parents of teens seems to suffer thru. I would love to find out when these teens finally took control.
Keith,
I know it has to be hard on you, unfortunately my daughter is very compliant
and does not lie about her blood sugars to me. I for one am in the medical
field, and have a tight control on diabetes. She has never done anything
like this, she is very honest about it, she eats right and exercises. Having
a hamburger with fries is ok, it will not hurt him by any means, so let him
eat it but just make sure he bolus' correctly. My daughter does not give up
any foods, she eats ice cream or chocolate but it is sugar free. She is 5'2"
and weighs 102lbs, her bmi is very low, she keeps fit by running cross
country and track, she plays all sports and does not let diabetes control
her life, she controls it. She has had this attitude since being diagnosed
at the age of 10. It is hard being a parent with a child that is
non-compliant, but his endocrinologist needs to be kept informed of this
progress. The doctor needs to be told of this behavior, they maybe able to
help him see that if he doesn't take care of himself what the consequences
with his long term health. I know this first hand, my father-in-law died
this past June from complications of diabetes, he was only 68, it opened my
daughters eyes. I know I sound like I am preaching but I don't mean to sound
that way, I just hope your son opens his eyes and realizes what will happen
if he doesn't take care of himself. My heart goes out to you and your
family.
I just don't know what to say...it is very hard to read all of the posts here. My heart aches for all of you. Reading all of your posts brings me to tears. Keith, you and Im sorry I didn't read the other ladies name, I am just speechless. (see my post for Keith) I thank God my daughter is so great with her diabetes and monitoring it. It just hurts to see you all in such pain. I know it hurts seeing your child like this, and we do anything not to see them in pain or ill. I know there are days when my daughter gets tired of me asking what her blood sugar is but I told her until my dying day, I will always ask her no matter how old she is and I will always hound her about it, so get use to it! I just wish there was something I could do to help you all. :(
Nicole,
I didnt forget you just didnt see your name before I posted it!!!
Thanks Nancy :)