You've got the psychology of a teen down pat, especially a girl. She thinks her parents know nothing, is secret and believes she will live forever. I like the idea of playing those truth or dare games. I need a gimmick. The "let's have a conversation about your diabetes" won't work. She is in denial that her life is difficult. As a matter of fact, she claims she is in total control, and the more I bug her about care, the worse it gets. So, I've taken to not nagging, just sneaking peaks at her monitor, or used needles. It's crazy to all but parents of diabetics. That's why speaking her makes so much more sense, than trying to explain it to my well meaning friends. Taking her away on trips solo is also a good idea-it could take pressure off and offer a bonding experience.
OMG - that is too funny! He literally ran them over huh, probably thinking he needed to act quickly - why bother with clothes?Sounds like you have a great support system at home. Hopefully the preventive psych will work with your daughter. We have always made the best of our daughter's diabetes, being very thankful it was at least a disease that we could treat. It's just the "invincible" young woman now has ideas of her own, and there's no telling her any different. Oh well, it makes for never a dull moment at home. Hope you have a very nice weekend :)
That is hilarious! I'm glad a teen chimed in! Everyone needs to know how each other is feeling! I think that non-compliance is a bad word. Non-adherance is what we (in the medical field) use now. No one in the world adheres to a completely healthy lifestyle, and everyone, including diabetics are non-adherant to varying degrees. But we must all keep trying. Each day is a new day to tell yourself, "Today I am healthy". Because diabetics feel so crappy so much of the time, it may be harder to give yourself pep talks every day. I'm overweight. It is so freakin' hard to stay on a healthy diet! And to exercise on top of that through my busy schedule! The only problem is that I don't have this looming threat of disability over me compelling me to do better or to do badly in futility, so I am nonadherant. There is a chronic disease that looms over me since childhood though, that I would rather die than have my children or family suffer with. I am so thankful that they do not have to suffer like I do. The necessary precautions for that disease process have always been a part of my life so I don't think about it anymore. Maybe that's why I do well with my daughter. I understand suffering. Maybe not highs and lows, but suffering nonetheless.
Don't get angry with your Mom. She is allowed to vent her frustrations just like you are. She sees nothing but the looming threat of disability over one of the most priceless things in her life. One day, when you have your own child, you will understand what that kind of love is. Until then, you will only have to assume and try to be understanding, just like we parents have to try to understand how you feel every time you are low or high. But always remember, everyone has their own cross to bear. Everyone struggles with some sort of pain in their lives and noone can judge another's pain, only try to support them through it. Both you and your Mom need each other. You always will.
Well after my posts were seen by my daughter, she became even more upset that I was writing about her. The only good thing was that she was able to see the frustration myself and the people around her are going through. Whether that makes any impact in the future, I'm not sure, but I hope so. Her suggestion to me was to not continuously bug her about taking her BG and insulin; that she can handle it all herself and given this control she will do better. I have yet to see this working.
LOL Hang in there. Every adolescant will advise a parent to quit "bugging" them, no matter what the topic. Apparently, something is going right for you two because I noticed in a previous blog that your daughter's latest HgA1C was 7.0. As long as she doesn't have many lows then this is a very good number. God bless you both! It truly seems though that both of you already are.
Hi there. No she doesn't have many lows...only too many highs, which is why my hair is graying. Well, I'm going to give her some slack and see how it works. Good luck to you too!
We're at the cusp. Our daughter has just turned 13 and I believe we're just starting to experience glimpses of what our diabetes educator calls "teenage brain tumor," a condition where a massive growth of stubborness, rebellion and denial enters the adolescent skull. This condition isn't unique to diabetics, but it certainly ups the ante since this altered behavior can have profound effects on your child's health.
A couple things to be aware of: 1.) hormones have a big time effect on blood sugars and insulin absorption, 2.) the battle for "control" in general can trigger a destructive spiral into behaviors like eating disorder.
These are tricky, tricky waters. Luckily, experience with our older daughter (non-diabetic) has pointed out some potential icebergs. Studying up on our own past experiences and learning from friends who have already gone through this already may prove to be our best compass.
As a parent of a 13 yr old boy who was diagnosed in June 2006 I totallyunderstand your problem. He is currently going through the same issues. I find that the " don't care" corresponds to high sugars. He is a sweetie when the sugars are good. We found that having his diabetes Dr talk with him made some difference. the big difference was when they told him that they would take him off the pump until he began to check more.
I think the big issues with teens , is checking at school. They do not want to be singled out by having to leave the classroom and don't want to wait to eat. They generally have so little time to get food and eat. Having to check and then deal with the sugar reading takes up precious moments and often has to be explained to people around. It is fine for the teachers to say that they can leave the class for privacy etc, but then they are "different"
It really takes time and patience on the part of the parents . We withold xbox/computer time/priveledges until he gets back into the swing. We add extra things when he shows he can check
I know what you mean about the "control" issue. The more vulnerable diabetics feel, the more they want to be independant. And Mom is the enemy in this age category of female teen, so I've heard.
My daughter feels the same way about testing or taking insulin in school. She doesn't. It takes too long to get to the nurse, she ends up late for lunch and doesn't have enought time to eat. So she skips lunch and waits til she gets home. I can stand on my head about this issue, but she refuses to budge. Being "different" is possibly the worst thing for a girl her age.
Thank goodness for these sites. It is always nice to know that you are not alone. My 17 year old daughter was diagnosed almost five years ago. For the first few years she was a model patient: 5.4 A1C, active in JDRF activities (walk team, Children's Congress 2007) and a good student. This year has been a nightmare. She did not retry out for her competition dance team, she checks her blood sugars only 1-2 times a day, she is doing poorly in school and become very resentful of me and any interference on my part. It is like she is putting her head in the sand and hoping it will all go away. Her doctor has recommended seeing a counselor so that will probably be our next step. Are there any "older" diabetics who have had experiences similar to this that may have some suggestions...?
You and I should talk. I am a parent of a 13 yr old boy also diagnosed in 2006 and we are getting a taste of "I don't need to care about my diabetes. Brenden has always been really good with his b/gs until this year when we moved to a new area, he started a new school and started going out for lunch with his new friends. He was doing ok I guess and then last week for 4 days he didn't take his b/g at lunch and took no insulin. Stupid me trusted him and thought his basals were off or it was a growth spurt and I didn't check his kit since he was calling me at lunch every day to tell me he was 6.4, 7.2 and his pump was showing him bolusing on those numbers. Too bad he never actually took those b/g readings. Just made them up. Anyway, we had a MASSIVE arguement, I had a diabetes melt-down and freaked totally. Just reached my critical point I guess. I called our nurse at Sick Kids and am waiting to hear from our social worker. I also called the JDRF in Toronto and they hooked me up with a college guy who has had diabetes since he was a child and he talked to me a bit about what Brenden is going through. Then he talked to Brenden a few days later. Things are better the past few days but still not the way they should be, but I guess I should be happy that he is taking his readings so far this week and is taking his insulin. We have also withheld X-box privileges but we gave back the iPod and computer once he showed a bit of improvement in his attitude. Hard to know when to keep pushing so they know this is important, but where to draw the line so I don't become an insulin nazi.
No, I don't think you are pushing too hard. I just think at 13, and most teenagers in general, don't have the mental maturity to realize the ramification of walking around with high blood sugar. My daughter has gotten a little better, but we still have our bad days. Since she won't tell me her bg's I have to check her monitor, and the numbers I find are not always good, so I my diabetes meltdowns, but it only makes her angry that I snooped around and checked. She is on a new insulin regimen of NPH and novolog shots which is working better than the lantus. Since she refuses therapy or camp, and is probably in a rebellion stage for the next few years, I will have to find a parent support group in my area on Long Island. Good luck and let's hope a cure will be found soon.
Maybe she has a better handle on it than you realize. Did you get any information on insulin pumps yet? Maybe the pump would be more inspiring for her. The Omnipod is a cool item. Perhaps you could leave some literature casually around the house where she might read all about the new pumps' technologies and benefits.
Dixie, I so know what you are going through! My daughter Reagan was diagnosed one week before her 9th birthday. For the first 3 or 4 years her A1C was about six, she was very compliant and things were great. It seemed like overnight things changed for us. She is very sneaky about her BGs and sometimes goes for days without checking them! She skips her insulin often and has been in DKA several times. We also tried counseling, wich by the way, did not help. The last xperience was bottom for me. We called a physciatric center near us asking for resources. Maybe some support groups or something? They suggested I bring her in and have a needs assessment done. Wow. they tried to take her! They were going to admitt her to their pshyc ward on a medical hold! Accused me of being neglectful and endangering my daughter! Well long story short... we were allowed to leave. I have at this point, taken all of Reagan's insulin and her meter from her and revoked all of her *privelleges* I now do all checks and insulin myself, or watch her do them. When I am at work, my husband does this also. I feel unbelievably guilty for doing this, but I see NO other option at this point! This stress is overwhelming for everyone in the family! I wish there was another way.
She was given alot of information about the pump, but is afraid of having something "inside" her and visible and all. BUt I was reading some posts her about the pump and the differences between them for active lifestyles and it sounds so convenient. The only thing I worry about, maybe because I don't have all the information is her sugar going to low if she makes a mistake, but it seems like there are safeguards on the pumps for that. I will keep trying. Thanks for the note.
That's a frightening story. What you're doing in terms of the control must be hard for your daughter and your family. Someone on this site suggested a pump which is supposed to make life easier. When it comes to teenage rebellion and stubborness, I can't imagine solutions like therapy, lectures by endos and parents or punishments will help these kids somehow understand the risks of not checking bgs and taking insulin.
My daughter was diagnosed the end of January 2009-She will be 16 in April and she has her good days and bad days! So far she she is testing and taking her insulin, but no matter how much I stress how important it is for her to take care of herself and remember what she needs to do-she gets so angry at me and tells me you don't have this disease so don't worry about it or says that I am too paranoid. It is so hard with a teenager-I know she knows that I care and love her. She just thinks she can do it on her own.
I am still waking up in the middle of the night to check on her to see if she is okay. Her BS have been in the mid 200s every night before bed. Granted we are still learning, but I am scared of the coma stuff.
I am thankful that I can go here and talk to people that feel the way I do-I want her to sign up and talk to other teenagers feeling the same, but she is not sure
My daughter is 13 and also has been going through non-compliance (she was dx in 2000). We have had so many go-arounds about lying, it is enough to drive me crazy! She was not testing herself at lunch at school, or even giving herself insulin. The last argument we had was when she went into mild DKA, and was so high that she couldn't think straight, then crashed, then got up the next morning and starting the vomiting. We had to give her phenergen suppository, lovely when she is 13! Yikes. Of course, at that point, I was done arguing. She did realize that she was sick as a direct result of some very poor choices.
Some days, it is better. Some days, I pray that she will "get it". We did just order a new pump (Animas Ping), and she seems to be excited about that. I hope it makes a difference. We are also forcing her to go to camp this summer, even though she thinks she is way too cool for that. Everyone tells me that if you can make it through the teen years, that things get better. What's crazy, is that she is a pretty good kid in spite of all that!! :) I keep telling her that I will never-ever stop fighting for her. Also, I am always there to take care of her when she gets tired of doing it herself. It's a hard time, I think.