Hi! I have had diabetes for ten years. For the past two years I have suffered severe depression. This depression actually makes me neglect my diabetes to the point were I pretend I do not even have the disease. I try so hard to get my disease back in check and try to prevent complications.
I feel alone through this and I have never heard of another diabetic neglecting their disease the way I do. I was wondering if there was any other diabetic out there that has or had these horrible habits and even if you haven't been through this but have advice it would be great to hear from you.
I can promise you that you are not alone in this!! I was diagnosed when I was 9 and for all of high school and throughout college, I acted as though I didn't have diabetes. I was sick, constantly throwing up, in and out of the hospital, I was weak and showering sometimes took more energy than I had. It's awful, but you can get out of this cycle. I had to start over and begin as though I was newly diagnosed. I saw a new doctor, went back on shots from the pump, since my pump was calibrated completely wrong, and am now back on the pump and on the cgms... but, none of this will work until you are truly ready to commit and just do it. It's hard and I was an emotional wreck going through the transition because I just didn't want to deal with this, but I am so happy I stuck to it. I am so much happier and I now know that I have a life ahead of me. I started a blog to help me through this journey called "Facing New Life as a Born Again Diabetic" (thisismysos.blogspot.com) and that helped me a ton when I needed someone other than myself to hold me accountable. If you want to read through it, start at the beginning :) I am now 26 weeks pregnant and just can't believe how far I've come. You CAN do this!!! One step and sometimes one second at a time is all it takes! You can't take back the good decisions you make, so take your insulin in the moment you have the strength, and move on... you can never take that accomplishment back, and then repeat!
If you need to talk or need anything at all, please email me!! My email is this.is.my.sos@gmail.com.
Sadly, depression is an underrepresented complication of diabetes. There are many studies evaluating whether abnormal glycemic levels affects the chemicals in the brain or if it is simply depression of chronic disease. The statistics vary per paper but one source cites a prevalence 8.5-27.3%of people with diabetes will suffer from depression, which is 3 times the normal prevalence. I would estimate that the statistics are much greater, in excess of 60% of pts who have had the disease for a long time. And there are other studies correlating glycemic control with level of depression. Among the endocrine medical community (i.e. not your primary care provider) it is a known entity that presents a major obstacle to optimal control.
The most important thing for you at this time is to seek help. Ask your physician about antidepressant medications. See a counselor. In order to normalize your glycemic control, you must first treat the root of the problem.
I have seen many patients suffering from the exact issues you describe. And I will confess, at 18 I was diagnosed with depression and my control was for a short time very erratic. I started medication and things improved dramatically.