Last night as I was preparing dinner the kids were around doing various things. My youngest (6) was watching tv, my oldest (11) was doing his homework at the kitchen table, and my daughter (8, type 1) was at the island coloring. A very regular night in our household. Out of the blue she says "Mom, I think if anyone else is going to get diabetes I think it's going to be Carter (my six year old)" After dropping the plate I was drying (from shock) I proceeded to go off the deep end. I yelled, I screamed, made my daughter feel terrible by saying "what a horrible thing to say" and "why would you say such a mean spirited comment". She started to cry, then I cried and locked myself in the den until I could compose myself. To say I feel terrible is the understatement of the year :-( Dinner was quiet, as was the evening. I owe my daughter an explanation and plan to have a chit chat afterschool. I owe her a very big apology :-(
Why did I react that way? I'm trying to understand why I reacted like I did to such a comment. Especially considering it was said in a passing, not meaning anything type of way. She wasn't being mean. Not in the least. She wasn't wishing it on anyone.. she was just casually talking like an eight year old talks.
I'm crying as I type this!! What is wrong with me!! :-(
it's easy for parents to be upset at innocent comments like this. you are already attempting to struggle coming to terms with the diagnosis of one child, and the thought of having to go through another child with d is unbearable. even though she didn't mean anything by it, the simple idea of it (2 kids with diabetes) struck you deeply.
while your daughter probably didn't understand why you were so upset, i can understand why you reacted the way you did. the most important thing you can do is talk with her as you already have planned. apologizing will mean a lot to her.
definitely not a bad mother. you're one who cares so much you'd rather not see another child live with diabetes. :o)
Firstly you're human. And secondly you're a mom. We aren't perfect and we don't always handle things perfect the first time around. I have just learned to be honest with my children in regards to my emotions.
You were overwhelmed I am sure about the thought of having another child with type 1. I'm sure you were a little sad that you're daughter was thinking and knowing the possibility that someone else can be affected with type 1.
I know I don't like it when my husband talks about Chasey and her diabetes in front of her. He doesn't mean anything by it and he's usually just answering people's questions, but something in me just bubbles up. I won't join the conversation and I just look at him. I'm not sure why I guess it's my mom instinct kicking in.
I think you're a great mom and a potential mom of the year just for realizing that you need to apologize. Kids are very forgiving, I'm sure she will still see you as the greatest, bestest mom ever.
Aw, I think she just hit on an emotional topic. She'll probably have forgotten the whole a month from now, and you'll still be beating yourself up! I think having a talk with her is a good idea, but then, I bet she'll move on, esp. if it's out of character for you...
Hang in there! I think as parents, we try as hard as we can, but we're human, and it's impossible to "do everything right." But, kids are resilient and survive as long as we do most things well. My husband and I joke about our son's "therapy jar" where we throw a dollar in everytime we loose our cool and do something that will cause him to need therapy later, ha, ha.
Hi Jillian, try not to beat yourself up too much; these moments happen to the best of us. I've found that during certain times of the month my temper flares. Over the years I've learned the signs and am much better now about keeping my monster under control, but I still have my moments. Look at this as a good teaching opportunity. Apologize to your daughter and let her see that you are a person, just like her, and you make mistakes. In my opinion far too many kids think adults have all the answers, so this is a good opportunity to show your daughter your humanity and use it as an opportunity to become closer.
I have to go with fear. Fear that one of your other kids could end up t-1 and her verbalizing it caused you to over react. Fear makes us react in many ways that we normally wouldnt. Dont be to hard on yourself like someone else said you are human. Just talk to her and explain why you reacted that way the best you can and move on.
My son had a Mini-Med Paradigm pump for 4 years. We did not like it as it broke and had to be replaced on 3 separate occasions, not to mention customer service issues. We've now had an Animas pumps for 4 years this summer and will be upgrading to the Ping from a 1250. Animas has been fabulous and their customer service has been top-notch. We even were able to go and have a tour of the company, where they built the actual pumps!
Anyway, those have been our experiences over the past 7.5 years. The Omni Pod looks appealing, not having the tube and all. Another thing about Animas pump is that it's waterproof and we swim all summer... pools, lakes, oceans, and several different countries as well... it's handled it all beautifully!
I was so scared to go on a pump esp with all the tubing etc, but a year ago i went on the omnipod and love it. i would definitely recommend the omnipod above any other pumps, so easy, convenient, and barely noticable. it doesnt hol me back at all! If you have any questions please feel free to message me
Hey Elyse- my doctor kept insisting that after changing the Omnipod to a new spot, sometimes, blood glucose levels would randomly rise. Has that ever happened to you?
We have the Ping for our 4 yr old son. We love it. We went with it because it is waterproof, does very small increments (basal amounts as small as 0.025 units, which yes, we do actually use) and because of the meter remote. We felt the omnipod was too big for him. If he was older/bigger I may have considered it more. The only other drawback I saw to the omnipod is that if you lose/damage the meter remote, you're hosed, you can't control the pump. With the ping, if we lose the meter, I can just use an old meter to check BG and then use the pump itself to bolus.
I don't think that potential problem your endo mentioned is Omnipod specific. We were trained that you have to check several hours after a site change with any pump/site style to make sure you got the site in correctly and that it is delivering insulin, any type of site can get bent or occluded during a change. Just a risk of pumping.
Thanks for this thread... Also highly considering Omnipod and think I'm going to give a shot here in the very near future. Looks like mostly good reviews about it! (:
Does anyone know when changing your Omnipod if your sugar levels increase sometimes?! I'm trying to think fast of which to choose, so I can get it before clinicals start.
My three year old also had a pretty bad experience with the pump. We tried it in December, but she kept dropping very quickly, very rapidly and it was an extremely frightening experience for me. A couple times she dropped into the 40's during the night and I could not wake her up to treat her which was downright terrifying. The nurse I worked with at the pump company was making minimal adjustments to the basal rate, which I know contributed to all the lows. Needless to say, Shelby's endo was very upset with the nurse and wants us to try again but this time around we will work directly with her (the endo) and the two nurses we met when Shelby was first diagnosed. I don't want to give up on it either, as her numbers aren't that great and I am really praying this will get them under better control. She has a long way to go!!
I looked at the Omnipod as well and got very excited about it because of the no tubing. Shelby's endo thinks she will be better on the ping (the one we tried in December) though. She said she is too small right now for the Omnipod and will need to grow some more before we can try that one. I plan on it though when she is older.
Best wishes to you this time around! I am sure it will be a much better experience! :-)