Lost and unsure

I am crying as I write this and I cried last week at the doctors office for Nathans Endo checkup, why? Because my son who was diagnosed in 2000 right before his 9th birthday is not doing his shots or checking his blood sugars.  He at least is doing his Lantus.  I know some of it is our fault as we dont check and do everything for him.  But he is almost an adult.  He is 18 and a senior in high school.  He has struggled in the past and we have tightened the reigns a bit but still let him be his own person.  He has always been responsible and done what he was supposed to with little to no complaints.  He is one who likes to do things himself.  He went to camp his first year in 2001 and came back giving his own shots.  We only just started giving him more freedom in his caretaking with supervision these past two years.  When we went to the doctors office a week ago Thursday, he hadnt been checking his blood sugars since the Saturday before and he hadnt been giving Humalog when he ate.  The only thing basically keeping him alive was his Lantus.  We had a talk and I let him know that he will have to show me his meter every night and do his Lantus where I can see him taking it to make sure he is getting it.  Then last night when he was getting ready to go to a friends house, I had him bring me his meter (I had forgotten to check it the night before), and when checking it he hadnt checked his blood sugar since the previous morning.  I was just beside myself.  He knew the consequences of not doing it - no truck, no outtings, so why would he do this?  He of course was mad at me and went to bed since I took his truck keys from him.  My husband is out of the country on business and I had the displeasure of calling him and telling him what had happened.

I am so scared of when he moves out next year to go to college - of finding him dead or the complications he will have because of his rebellion right now.

Any other moms out there that have gone through or going through this?  I know he wants to be 'normal' and like everyone else and he is not wanting this disease and I would give anything to take it for him and give him that 'normal' life and be like everyone else - but i cant.  My heart breaks for him and is mad at him at the same time.

You Know,I wish this were posted in the forums too. Reading this makes me think of all the young adults here that are in college.How did they make that step away from home with d ? I plan on texting and calling to remind my daughter when she starts off in college-to ask questions...She lets me know when to help and when to back off. I am sorry your son is having a hard time right now.My daughter at times gets so tired of it.Do you think he would come to this site ? My daughter will one day-I hope-that way they can connect with others with d.I hope he gets the help he needs-ask if there is someone he could talk to that understands d life.We did that and it did help.I wish you well..

There was a post in this group titled-Moving to London-you could read that,I remember both moms had sons.

Thanks for the reply Meme.  I am definitely going to get the book Joe suggested in the 'Moving to London' post and look into therapy for him.  I drove him to camp on Sunday for the week so hopefully he will find a new direction while he is there.  He seems to be so angry right now and doesnt really have a reason as to why he isnt taking his insulin.  I pray this stage passes quickly as the nurse just called with his A1C and it was 13.3.

Hi Dee

We have been going thru it also. Matthew is almost 15. The shots have gotten old and he misses the feedom he once had. He will eat before he tests and will not give himself insulin until sometimes 2 hours later.  I think it all comes down to a little anger and the fact that he would rather not feel well than give a shot or test. He has been to therapy after diagnosis per endo's suggestion and that helped a lot. It has given him someone to talk to - someone that is not directly connected with him. He gets to talk and our agreement was we would not ask him what he discussed. That has worked out well.

We all kind of forget what they go thru sometimes - in Matthews case - he had gotten braces the year before, started as a fresman in H.S. and developed diabetes. Throw in the pressures of not feeling well many times, numerous visits to the endo, lab work etc and the time missed from school and the make up work etc and I can see why a visit to therapy was beneficial.

College is a concern to us also - even though it is 3 years away it comes up fast. As of now we have him thinking of a commuter school and I hope that does not change but who knows. Being mad won't help - they just get defensive but you know that. It is a very real honest emotion and the frustration builds. Just come here and vent.  We all look forward to hearing from you. 

Thanks Keith! He just got back from camp on Friday and the weekend has gone well.  I have him text me his numbers when he is out and his attitude has improved.  I am hopeful in that things will continue this way. 

About a year after he had been diagnosed, we went to the mall and he had me carry his bag while we shopped, he whispered to me that he just wanted to be like all the other kids his age and my heart almost broke right there. I know those feelings dont go away and they just want to be like all the other kids - normal. 

Thankfully at first Nathan is planning on going to the community college here for his basics and the college for his degree (forensic science) is close.  It just frightens me more than angers me of losing him.  I know it is something he has to work through and I just pray that happens before he moves out, which is creeping closer as he graduates in May and plans to move out this summer with a good friend of his.

I am glad we have this site as parents to come and vent and support each other, and for those who have the disease to know they are not alone and there are others who feel the same they do so that we all can get thru each day a little better than the day before.

[quote user="Dee"]

About a year after he had been diagnosed, we went to the mall and he had me carry his bag while we shopped, he whispered to me that he just wanted to be like all the other kids his age and my heart almost broke right there. I know those feelings dont go away and they just want to be like all the other kids - normal. 


I know this is a "little" thing, but a couple of months ago we got a SPI-Belt for our 8-year old son.  It is small, fits tightly against his torso, under his shirt so it can't be seen (especially in the winter when we're all wearing loose, bulky clothes), and is expandable, so it holds his glucose monitor, test strips and glucose tablets...all he needs to test and treat a low while we're out-and-about.  He doesn't have to carry his entire kit around, unless we're planning to have a full meal (in which case, I carry it).  It would probably also carry an insulin pen.  It comes in adult and kids sizes, and dozens of designs, and is fairly priced.  This may be a good tool for those teens and tween who are self-conscious about their T1 and feeling "normal".  I've also read from diabetics on pumps that it is the perfect size to carry the pump controller. 



A pen vial of insulin (not the pen, just the vial) and 2-3 syringes easily fit into a meter case. We did this when we would be out for a meal, and then it was just the one small meter case that I had to throw in my purse (my son is only 4).

My 17 year old daughter has also been terrible about checking her blood sugars. With my busy schedule, two other kids and just life in general it's really hard to keep on top of everything.  I find that if I don't remind Nicole to check her blood sugar she often forgets.  When I do write down her numbers before a Dr. appt. I feel sick when I see how often she has forgotten. I also feel that at her age she should know better. One things that does help is that she is on a pump so she is always getting  some insulin even if she doesn't always remember to give herself extra when she eats. Have you ever considered an insulin pump? They are expensive but my health plan covers most of the costs.

My son has had some issues with infusion sites now working - canulas getting kinked, etc. but not often.  Most of the time it works very well and we are so happy to have it!

My daughter is on the pump and we love that she has more freedom to be a kid, eg. More treats at a birthday party. Planned exercise is also easier, as you can decrease her basal rate to compensate. The only thing I dont like about the pump is, with a failed site, you will see ketones and possibly DKA a bit faster. It is a fabulous tool!

With the type of infusion site you'll use with a T-slim, you probably won't feel the infustion site.  If I ever have a site that hurts more than 5 minutes after inserting, it's best to do a new site somewhere else.  

Best thing you can do is use every possible insertion site... stomach, lower back, rear end, upper thighs, arms.  Try them all.  Pumping is hard on the skin and if you aren't using a lot of different sites the tissue will get overused.  Also be open to trying different types of infusion sets.  

I've only lost an infusion site a couple times in 10 years.  It's pretty rare and you know it because your blood sugars are high.  Sometimes if the site is in my thigh where it's more muscular I have to increase the insulin dose slightly because the absorption isn't as good.

I've seen both weight gain and loss with the pump.  There's a chance you will gain weight because your blood sugars will be better, so you aren't urinating away calories from high blood sugar.  But you can also lose weight because you'll likely have fewer lows and you can also skip meals and just eat when you're hungry.  With a pump I've fasted for 24 hours with good blood sugars.  

I love waking up with the same blood sugar I had when I went to sleep.  I love being able to quickly correct a blood sugar of 140.  I love that if I'm in a long meeting and feel my blood sugar starting to drop, I can suspend my pump and maybe avoid a low altogether without having to eat any sugar.  I love sleeping in, skipping meals, and being able to bolus one-handed while I drive.  My pump gave me a healthy pregnancy and allowed me to deal well with being a new parent, when I didn't have much time for myself.

I dislike sleeping with my pump.  I'm a restless sleeper and so I've had to start wearing pajamas so I can clip it somewhere.  I dislike having to reconnect and bolus on days at the pool with my son.  I've also had a few outfits (sundresses or anything without a waistband or pockets) that were difficult to deal with but learned to tuck it in my bra.  

Starting the pump can be overwhelming, but within a few days you'll have it.  Try to pre-plan a couple outfits with pockets and low carb or easy to count carb meals for your first few days with the pump.

Make sure your tubing isn't hanging out too much. You have no idea how many times I've caught mine around a door knob and yanked the entire thing out of me. Then again, I get lost in thought quite a bit. I guess what I'm saying is, try not to get lost in thought too much.