Emotional

General
1

I am 21 years old , teen mother at 17 now raising a handsome boy who is 3 about to be 4. December 2010 was a rough but yet exciting month. My husband and I bought our very first house but also we discovered that our what we thought (perfect) little boy has diabetes. We went Down to Rileys Children Hospital and we discovered it was type 1. I managed to keep all my emotions wrapped tight up till this point. While down there I couldn't help cry, I was scared for my son, Upset at myself, upset with life. My heart is broken and Im having trouble taking everything in at once. I have distanced myself from a lot lately because I have no one to relate to around me. Im scared about losing my son, I keep hearing horror stories about little children passing because of Diabetes. I know this is a very managable disease. Im just scared because now my sons life is resting in mine and my husbands hands at this even more so.

I feel helpless.  What am I to do. Please any one with some advice, support, or help!

2

Oh Katie, my heart goes out to you, your husband and your little son. Our daughter was diagnosed at 15, but there were several families with very young children and I can only try to imagine what you are going through.  I was fortunate that I have a neighbor whose daughter was also diagnosed a few years earlier so she was something of a mentor.  I just found this Juvenation website today and wonder if you have joined a group for parents with children with type I or if not, maybe you can start your own group.  It takes awhile to network, but I would also suggest reaching out to friends and their contacts via social networks.  Perhaps your Children's Hospital can help you hook up with a support group.  Another resource I found very helpful was calling our local JDRF chapter. It seemed everyone I spoke to had personal experience. 

         yourmom

3

Everything is going to be okay Katie.  This was not your fault.  It's just one of those crazy things that happens in life.  It's natural to feel sad because your son's life is changed.  But that doesn't mean he'll have a bad life.  Diabetes, like most other things, will bring both good and bad. 

I was diagnosed at age 4 when my mom was a 24-year-old single mom.  I'm sure she didn't know what she was doing a lot of the time, but to me it always seemed like she had everything under control. 

Sounds like you've found great doctors.  Take advantage of all the diabetes education classes and support groups (including online ones like juvenation).   You don't have to learn everything all at once.  You probably have a decent understanding of the basics now and will continue to learn as you go.

Attached is a link to an online book published by the Barbara Davis Center for Childhood Diabetes in Denver.  It gives a great overview and may also be helpful for your son's grandparents and other important people in his life.  http://www.ucdenver.edu/academics/colleges/medicalschool/centers/BarbaraDavis/OnlineBooks/books/Pages/UnderstandingDiabetes.aspx

Now I'm 37, have no complications, and am married with a 5-year-old son of my own.  There are many of us diagnosed as young children who are just normal people, living our lives.  Your son is going to be okay.

4

Katie,

You can do this and do it well. I had my first baby just after I turned 18 and by the time I was 21 I had two children. Being a young mom is a challenge, but honestly I think that young moms can be just as amazing as older, more experienced moms. Being a parent is in your DNA, and I can tell how much you love your little guy.

Diabetes is a pain, but it's not insurmountable. I have met so many amazing people since my 11 year old daughter was diagnosed 10 months ago. Many of whom have kids with diabetes who are as young as your son. Diabetes is not a picnic and takes a lot of time, effort, and brain cells - but it IS manageable and your son will be able to do everything his peers do, accomplish whatever he puts his mind to, and have an amazing life.

We are here for you.

5

Katie, do not believe the horror stories. The people telling you those things know very little about diabetes, and they are telling you gross exaggerations. Things are not like that in modern times.

I was diagnosed in 1945, when I was 6. Mow I have had type 1 for 65 years and am very healthy. With your love and care , your son can have a long, healthy life. he can grow up and be a healthy old geezer like me. Lol!

Ask all the questions you want, there are many parents here who have diabetic children. Good luck to you and your family.

Richard

6

Thank you for the encourging words, It seems no where in the South Bend region is there any support groups, in fact theres a waiting list for almost all the places I have found that have anything to do with Diabetes for children younger then 10 . I dont' know if its because there are so many  children around my area with Diabetes or just not enough educators/doctors. We had to make a drive 2.5 hours away just to go to a doctor who could tell us that our son was actually diabetic for sure.   Im  a real emotional wreck, I have been struggling to get a grip on reality, Its like I have been distancing myself away from my son with having any type of enteraction except for the taking care of his diabetes. Its horrible I know, I dont' know why I am doing it I love him so much, I think I am more scared of this then he is. He is already teaching people how he takes his BS and how he gets his shots. But yet Im the one struggling its almost like Im moarning. I have no clue if this is common or not. I only know one person who's daughter was diagnosed this young and he hasn't been much help with helping me deal with things. 

7

Mourning is normal.  You thought your son's next big change in life would be starting pre-K or Kindergarten, but instead you're unexpectedly having to deal with a lifelong illness that requires non-stop treatment.  At this point you probably can't imagine it ever seeming normal.  But the shock will wear off at some point. 

It's really important not to distance yourself from your son.  Just hold him in your arms, read a book to him, watch a cartoon, or take him for a walk or to the McDonalds play land. 

Since you're on your own, books can be a great resource.  Here's a good one to help with where you are right now.

Diabetes: An Emotional Journey by Renea Jo Zosel  http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0974343102/childrenwithdiabA/#_

8

 

My daughter was diagnosed 4 months ago and we are still going through the feeling of the loss of her normal life too.  But keep in mind that your son is still your wonderful little boy and that will not change.  He can still do everything he wants to do and have a healthy and fulfilling life.  Our endo told us that our daughter will probably be heathier as an adult than her peers because of the controls she has to keep so just keep that in mind.  Use these forums for support - I don't have anyone near my home that understands what I am going through but talking to people on here has been such a source of comfort.  Take things one day at a time - every day will get easier I promise you.  And don't beat yourself up for feeling the way you do - it is hard to manage at first and it does seem overwhelming.  But you will be amazed at how resilient the kids are and he will do great!  Keep your chin up and reach out when you are struggling.  There is always someone on here to answer your questions or to just vent to.

9

Katie, you're just scared and its totally normal.  Children handle things so much better than we do as adults.  Just hold him close to you, you'll feel better.  Its new to all of you. Keep talking, the best thing is to say what you feel, to your husband, parents, friends or even posting here.  You can't keep it inside, its not good for  you.   I agree, don't listen to the horror stories, or people that don't know diabetes first hand.  Even I as an adult, being diagnosed only 5 months ago, hear almost daily,   "Are you suppose to eat that?"  It is so sickening!  I have found the most comfort, and the best answers to questions on this site.  Keep the faith!!

10

[quote user="Katie"]

Thank you for the encourging words, It seems no where in the South Bend region is there any support groups, in fact theres a waiting list for almost all the places I have found that have anything to do with Diabetes for children younger then 10 . I dont' know if its because there are so many  children around my area with Diabetes or just not enough educators/doctors. We had to make a drive 2.5 hours away just to go to a doctor who could tell us that our son was actually diabetic for sure.   Im  a real emotional wreck, I have been struggling to get a grip on reality, Its like I have been distancing myself away from my son with having any type of enteraction except for the taking care of his diabetes. Its horrible I know, I dont' know why I am doing it I love him so much, I think I am more scared of this then he is. He is already teaching people how he takes his BS and how he gets his shots. But yet Im the one struggling its almost like Im moarning. I have no clue if this is common or not. I only know one person who's daughter was diagnosed this young and he hasn't been much help with helping me deal with things. 

[/quote]

Katie,

You've found a great support group in Juvenation, and there are others online out there. I haven't connected with anyone in my own area since my daughters diagnosis, but I've connected with many, many moms and dads in the online community and they've been my support system. If you'd like some help from me in getting connected, please email me through Juvenation and I'll help you out.

You might also consider looking into counseling if you're feeling like it's harder to relate to your son now. But maybe you can find a way to just let go of some of the fear. I know if the beginning I was seriously freaked out. How could my beautiful, perfect daughter have diabetes! And my sister-in-law didn't help because when I told her (while we were still in the hospital) that Sarah was being diagnosed with type 1 - she totally freaked (she's type2) and scared the beejeezus outta me! But you know what? We got her home, read a gazillion books and articles, and realized WE CAN DO THIS! Ten months have gone by, and of course we have to manage her diabetes, watching her bloodsugars, counting all her carbs, etc. But she is exactly the same kid she was before. Actually, that's not quite right. She's a far healthier kid now than she's been for a couple of years! She's smart, fun, loving, insanely active. She's a good student and a member of her student council. She is an actress and a singer and is constantly involved in a play or preparing for a performance. She is an advocate for diabetes research and raised over $1,000 last year. She recently started communicating with other young diabetics, and will be a role model for good care and a positive attitude.

Yes, diabetes sucks. But you will learn that it's managable. Don't listen to what anyone says who isn't intimately involved with type 1 diabetes, because chances are they have no idea what they're talking about. Don't worry about food, your son can have his cake and eat it too - he just needs a little insulin (but he'd get that for a bowlful of carrots too, right?).

Take care, we're here for you,

 

11

Nothing to add. Except Welcome!!!! Sorry about your child joining Club 1.

12

My daughter was dx'd November 28th and just turned 4 Jan 2nd. I understand, everything you said.

my mantra these past few weeks is "she can live with this". It's okay to feel everything you feel, it's okay to talk about how you feel. He's still a perfect little boy, he's just extra sweet. There will be times when it 's going to be extra harder, but you can do this, and we're all here to help you through. 

Keep us in the loop and sometimes you will just need to know there are other people who understand how you feel. That's what we're all here for! 

13

Behind every successful Type 1 child is a wonderful mother. I have seen so much evidence of this over the years, beginning with my own mother. Somehow they have all learned how to do it, and we have many thousands of successful T1 adults who started as children, being guided by their mothers. The fathers are very special too, but there is something about the motherly instinct that seems to quickly figure out the best way for their T1 child.

I know it's not going to be easy for you, and you aren't going to learn everything right away, but keep on learning, by reading books, using the Internet (with trusted sites), and asking questions (of trusted people). As you learn, you will be able to guide your child, and that's the key.

Tom Beatson

dx 12/1942 at age 10

14

Don't worry; God is more merciful than you over the little boy.  I was diagnosed 5 months ago with type1, I'm 27. No one would have taken care of me if I had developed diabetes as a young child.. God is merciful. God has given your son loving parents who will take care of him very well.

15

Thank you everyone! The support from all of you is amazing! Thank you.

16

I felt the same way back in May when my little girl was diagnosed. Try to take one day at a time. If you worry about the future

you will make yourself miserable for nothing. It will be hard work but you will get the hang of it. My family is closer because of this

disease so there has been a bright side. The people on this site have been really helpful and they may be all the community you will need!