I am just completely annoyed with my blood sugars and how I have been doing with the diabetes. Horrible to say the least. I havent been to a dr now in 4 months because I dont have insurance that I need and of course I cant afford the blood work and the general visit charge. So I havent had blood work done now in IDK how long and I am afraid to see the results of my blood work. I know it is going to be bad.
It seems like every time I check my blood sugar it is sky high and then I end up correcting for the blood sugar but I end up eating something shortly after I take insulin. Even when I do take the correct insulin after eating it seems like my blood sugar doesnt react to the insulinl. For instance I can eat my maple and brown sugar oatmeal in the morning with a 122 blood sugar take the proper amount of insulin and still when I check it an hour or two later it is way higher in the 3 or 400 range. I get so tired of that even after following my correction and carb ratios. ugh.....
I know all of the complications that can come from diabetes and I want to get my numbers under control but it seems like every time I start or decide that it is time to gain control I have a couple of good numbers or end up with a completely out of whack blood sugar and it screws me all up to the point where I guess I could call it falling off the band wagon :(
I just get so sick and tired of dealing with it that its not even funny. Although I know I am going to have to deal with this the rest of my life and there is really nothing I can do about it. I have applied for some type of insurance within the past 45 days and hopefully I can get it and be able to get back to a dr soon but I think the time is up for DHS to make a decision which means I am going to have to try and call them and see if a decision was ever made. It would sure be nice to find out what is going on and hopefully get back to a dr and get blood work done even though like I said I am afraid to know what my numbers are going to be.
I feel terrible that you have to go through this without any insurance! If it makes you feel any better I go through the same exact thoughts you mentioned. There are days when I am like OK, I can deal with having diabetes and other days when I am completely turned upside down. I don't even eat oatmeal anymore because it spikes me so high, I would rather not eat it then have to see the post prandial number at 300s. Especially when you take the right dose of insulin it is so damn frustrating!!!
I fall off the band wagon all of the time. You will pick yourself up, brush yourself off and try again tomorrow its all you can do. Just know you aren't the only one that goes through all of these feelings. I can guarantee every single person on Juvenation has at some point or another.
Keep a chin up! If you need anything send me a message to my inbox anytime!
Gina gave you some good words of wisdom. Have you ever seen an A1c test that you can purchase over the counter. I believe it works similar to a finger stick and you then mail your blood sample to a lab. I don't think it is too expensive. Although I was more interested in reading the box than looking how much it cost. My CVS just started carrying them recently. I understand they are very accurate, although I've never used one. The good part is no insurance needed!!! Something like this could help you get back on track.
I take the "Good Will Hunting" approach to diabetes management... once you learn the basics you can self educate with books and online forums. What would cost you thousands of dollars in doctor visits you can probably learn for about $40 worth of books like Think Like a Pancreas and Using Insulin.
An A1c test doesn't really tell you much more than your glucose monitor. For example I averaged my glucose readings off my meter and estimated I had a 6.4 A1c. My official results came back at 6.3.
It is best and will help you to have medical professionals overseeing your care, but you can do okay without it, especially short term. I was self-employed for 7 years and didn't have insurance or see a doctor for diabetes in this time. My control wasn't as good (I couldn't afford a pump and think doctor visits help make me more accountable) but I didn't do horribly either. So keep working on getting into seeing the doctor, but in the meantime start managing your blood sugars yourself.
In your situation it sounds like there's a strong possiblity you have dawn phenomenon. So you're either going to have to eat a low carb breakfast, lower your carb ratio in the mornings, and/or take some extra insulin at breakfast. Your basal rate (or long acting insulin, if you take shots) may have increased a bit. And your carb ratio may have changed too. This can happen because of age, the amount of time you've had diabetes, weight gain, etc. So educate yourself on these topics and start making small increases to cover your extra insulin needs.
Don't be discouraged. You can totally do this and then will be an even better partner with your doctor once you get to see one.
I also wanted to throw this into the mix. Call the billing or office manager at the docs office and ask what the "self pay" or "private pay rate" is for an office visit. Generally the charge is $75 - $190. But after the insurance discount the doctor is lucky to get half of that amount. Many times they will set up a self pay rate at about half the normal fee. It really isn't a big deal for them, they would rather get the money from you the day of the visit than wait for the insurance company to pay (keep in mind they also pay someone like me to send your bill to insurance and post the payment to your account when insurance pays thus they save that expense also). The doctors I work for typically charge $45-$75 for the "self pay rate". The upside is you can get your prescriptions and some good advice at the same time. Just skip the blood work and keep faxing the reports from your meter to the doctor on a regular basis. That should work just as good.