hi.. im kerri and the mother of a t1 eleven year old son. he was diagnosed 10 months ago. anyway we are going to endo appointment on wednesday and i can feel myself already feeling anxious. feel like the culmination of my success as a mother is hinged on the a1c...feel like i have to justify ever high and low and usually leave feeling like an incompetent fool. the funny thing is that im a nurse and am very familiar with this condition... if t1 diabetes was able to be controlled as evidence by sugars 100- 150 and a1c as close to 6 as possible then i could control it....but alas i am not able to control cortisol, adrenaline, testosterone,exercise or weathers effect on blood sugar......ok maybe weather not so much..lol i feel like i want to SCREAM and tell my endo i am doing the best that i can... possibly the best any human being could do and still its not enough......i don't want to leave appointment feeling like a failure and my whole days happiness is dependent on a number...ugh... can anyone relate?
Hi Kerri,
It's clear that you're VERY knowledgeable of the physiological factors that NONE of us can consciously control. It's also apparent that you are trying hard to keep good control (and about as far from negligent as a caring parent could be). That being said, you should cut yourself some slack and try to take any helpful advice from your endo as constructive criticism - not judgment.
If your son's physician has an awful bedside manner, then that's another story. I hope you are able to find an endocrinologist where you don't feel judged. You and your son deserve to have a doctor that feels like you're all on the same team.
~ Red
Kerri you are a mother not a pancreas. If the endo gives you that look tell him/her just that. You are doing the best you can. Dont be so hard on yourself.
kerri -
Hi, our (I mean Lucas') appointment is on wed too. We go in for the a1c today - of course Lucas has had a cold so we have had a few weeks of not normal numbers. I ALWAYS feel just like you before the dr appt. - like the A1c is a grade on how good of a mother I am - and we are coming on my 4 year d anniversary. I get stressed that the current numbers don't show a completely accurate picture. What is very different is I leave my endos office feeling empowered and ready to take this on for another 3 months. Not because Lucas' A1c is always perfect but because my (our) endo builds us up and gets us going again. I know he will be great with Lucas when he is a teenager - the perfect balance of strict, loving, smart. Watch when you go this week how your son is made to feel about the plan being developed for him - does the dr. listen to and inspire him. When he is a teenager and turns a deaf ear to most adults will he be able to confide in this person? It may be easier on your son to make the difficult switch of drs. now than later.
I will keep my fingers crossed for you on a good a1c anyway!!
Christine
I am a mother, not a pancreas
love this quote!! I will be boosting myself up with this from now on! :)
[quote user="goldbug34"]
I am a mother, not a pancreas
love this quote!! I will be boosting myself up with this from now on! :)
[/quote]
I have to remind myself of it often and it really helps me. I am glad it came out of my head blogging on here one day.
We all do the best we can. Listen to advise and move on. If your Dr. is too hard on you , find another one,
Kim