Getting Back on Board

Coping & Support
1

Just needed to put it out there in a place where others might know what I'm going through:

For the past few years I have neglected my health and my diabetes.  I know how bad this has been for me.  I've had everyone tell me how much damage and harm I can be causing myself - my parents, my nurse, my boyfriend - but never has it really triggered any action to really get my butt in gear again.  I have always said: "Yeah, I should really try and get it all under control again." But it was always a one day, maybe two, effort, then I would resort back to my old bad habits.  Nothing really gave me the motivation.  The end didn't justify the means to me yet.  And I realize the absurdity of that statement, but it's the way my mind worked. Whether is was burn out or just laziness, I couldn't have cared less about regulating my control.

BUT... recently my attitude has changed.  I can't really pick out what did it for me, but it's as if someone flipped a switch.  I have been testing regularly, before and after meals and other time, too (my mom made a comment about how with me, it's all or nothing) and been methodical about taking my injections (except for today, where a late start to the day threw off my schedule and I forgot my Lantus at the right time). 

I'm quite proud of myself so far.  My BGs have improved so much.  I'm not used to seeing numbers below 10 mmol/L so often.  Now I have to work on refining my ratios and dosages so I can clear up the constant lows. 

This has made such a huge improvement in so many areas regarding how I feel.  I have more energy, my mind feels like it's working faster, I have the confidence now in my ability to control this, rather than trying to ignore it and letting it create havoc on my body. Now the only problem I'm having is combating the weight gain that comes with actually having decent BGs and taking my insulin properly, but that's a lot lighter a load than the T1.

Next on the agenda: actually going back to my endo and being proud of what I have accomplished, rather than being afraid to go because of the result of my HbA1c. 

Thanks all who read this!  Any one with any helpful hints to keep at it, please share.  Any help to keep on track will be SO appreciated.  It would be AMAZING to have my next HbA1c under 8.  =) 

Take care everyone!! And best of luck to everyone else on their own paths!

2

It takes a lot of courage to admit to yourself you haven't been doing what you're supposed to, and even more courage to push yourself back onto the right path. All of us have been there before - struggling with our own care, ignoring our d, and then worrying about our next endo visit.

You can use us to help keep you on track, if you want. I've heard others talking about setting alarms on their cellphone to remind them to test or take insulin. Whatever works for you is best. I am more of a note-writer. I'll use post-it notes and stick them everywhere to remind me to do something.

I don't know you, but I'm proud of you :o) Thanks for sharing with us, too. It's comforting for everyone to see we aren't alone in our struggles, and especially to see others be able to succeed and move past the hard times. Good luck to you. You're doing an amazing job!

3

Sarah.....I'm at the exact same spot.  I haven't taken very good care of myself.  I get tired of checking my blood sugar....I get tired of taking injections.  I am good about injecting before meals....I need to check my sugars more often to know where I am, because it seems to be getting harder for me to tell.  I let other things come before my health.  At times, I forget I am diabetic and will eat a whole meal before realizing that I never took insulin!!!  I blame high A1C's on everything but myself.  Now that I have the family that I always dreamed of....I really need to get my act in gear.  I want to be around for a really long time...to see my stepdaughters' graduate from college, get married, and have children of their own!  I wanted to have a child of my own too, but I cannot get my numbers down.  I need a lot of encouragement and support.  I love to eat and I hate exercising!  I am where you were....I hope the switch turns on for me real soon!  Hang in there!

4

Thanks C.  So far I haven't really hit a wall yet in this new stretch, so hopefully it won't get back to what it's been the last few years.

I was actually just thinking about the watch I used to have in elementary school which had several alarms throughout the day to remind me to have snacks and test.  I was considering getting one like that again, because it would certainly remind me, so long as I wore it.

Thanks again for your supportive words.  Take care!!

5

I hope you find the right motivation too, Angela. 

I know that sometimes I have pretty much forgotten I'm diabetic also.  Maybe because I wanted to?  Getting carried away with wishful thinking?  Even today, I found that I would forget to test, but only now I would get the sudden "Oh wait! I need to test!" outburst, thankfully.  I've done the whole, injecting without testing.  I'm still going to have to work on actually calculating the exact amount of insulin I should be taking.  But I realize the danger in taking insulin without testing, or even the ineffectiveness of treatment that I'm setting myself up for. 

I remember one conversation I had with my boyfriend about starting a family once we're ready and how if I don't get my blood under control that's not going to be a possibility, never mind the amount of time I would be with that family then if I continued the way I was going.  That was a major wake up call for me.  But again, the change in management lasted for about a week, then it just went back to the back burner.  But that has always been more of a concern now. 

I'm glad to hear you have your dream family, Angela!  And I hope that you find the encouragement and support that you need to get your dream numbers too.  Thanks for your support.  I'm definitely here to return the favour when you need it!  Take care!!

6

Thanks Sarah.....I am working on it:)

7

Sarah,

That's fabulous!  I'm in that place, too.  I do the same thing you described -- stay on track for a few days, maybe three, then back to not caring.

I'm hoping your situation will inspire me... thanks so much for sharing your success!!

Melissa

 

[quote user="Sarah"]

Just needed to put it out there in a place where others might know what I'm going through:

For the past few years I have neglected my health and my diabetes.  I know how bad this has been for me.  I've had everyone tell me how much damage and harm I can be causing myself - my parents, my nurse, my boyfriend - but never has it really triggered any action to really get my butt in gear again.  I have always said: "Yeah, I should really try and get it all under control again." But it was always a one day, maybe two, effort, then I would resort back to my old bad habits.  Nothing really gave me the motivation.  The end didn't justify the means to me yet.  And I realize the absurdity of that statement, but it's the way my mind worked. Whether is was burn out or just laziness, I couldn't have cared less about regulating my control.

BUT... recently my attitude has changed.  I can't really pick out what did it for me, but it's as if someone flipped a switch.  I have been testing regularly, before and after meals and other time, too (my mom made a comment about how with me, it's all or nothing) and been methodical about taking my injections (except for today, where a late start to the day threw off my schedule and I forgot my Lantus at the right time). 

I'm quite proud of myself so far.  My BGs have improved so much.  I'm not used to seeing numbers below 10 mmol/L so often.  Now I have to work on refining my ratios and dosages so I can clear up the constant lows. 

This has made such a huge improvement in so many areas regarding how I feel.  I have more energy, my mind feels like it's working faster, I have the confidence now in my ability to control this, rather than trying to ignore it and letting it create havoc on my body. Now the only problem I'm having is combating the weight gain that comes with actually having decent BGs and taking my insulin properly, but that's a lot lighter a load than the T1.

Next on the agenda: actually going back to my endo and being proud of what I have accomplished, rather than being afraid to go because of the result of my HbA1c. 

Thanks all who read this!  Any one with any helpful hints to keep at it, please share.  Any help to keep on track will be SO appreciated.  It would be AMAZING to have my next HbA1c under 8.  =) 

Take care everyone!! And best of luck to everyone else on their own paths!

[/quote]

 

8

I know exactly where you are. In the past couple of years I have really just neglected my diabetes. When I was younger I guess I didn't really realize how different my life would be from other people as I grew up, but when I hit freshmen year of highschool it hit me. Now I am a senior in highschool and I am tired of my diabetes hanging over me like a dark cloud. I figure senior year is the beginning of a new chapter in my life (making the first major decision of my adult life (where to go to college), turning 18, and moving away from my family so I decided I could start over with my diabetes also.

My motivation is wanting to have a life wear I don't worry about my health and I don't worry others, especially my mom, about what will happen to me in the future. Also just to prove to myself that what I have basically given up on in the past couple of years is not an impossible feat to accomplish.

Whats helped me is having daily visual reminders of why I want to improve my diabetes management. I used to keep all of my supplies in a box in my closet. Now they are on my dressers, in my purses, and other random places where I will always be reminded of what I have to do everyday. Also thoughts like "oh I can wait until after this tv show to take my insulin are not allowed." I make myslef recant the statement and do whatever it is that i was trying to put off.

Maybe you could make a list of all the things that diabetes will stop you from doing if you are not in control. Then put it somewhere that you will look everyday, maybe on a bathroom mirror, and hopefully it will help you stay motivated.

I think the hardest part about diabetes is that we have to stay motivated everyday to take care of ourselves. To be motivated for the rest of our lives is a huge feat. But sites like juventation, and volunteering for diabetes walks, and at diabetes camps has helped me stay motivated. It shows me that other people are out there who have gone through the same things I have.