Here's the deal. We tried and tried and tried and (you get the point) and then lost a baby and then tried and tried and looked into adoption and then got preggers with Oliver. While we were trying and going through all that up until now my BG's have been amazing- yes, I have been 'acting pregnant' for over 2 years now. You ladies know that they want pregnant women between 80 and 120. I have worked my tail off trying to achieve these goals and doing a great job at it. Now the end of this pregnancy is in sight. I have less than 8 weeks left, probably more like 6 weeks and I am SOOO BURNT OUT! My attitude is terrible. Insulin resistance has started and I just don't care to deal with it. I am frustrated with my BG's, I am tired of adjusting and failing, I am tired of the doctors, I am tired of carb counting. I literally have diabetes burn out but at the worst possible time. I KNOW I need to do these things, I know I need to take care of myself, I know that Oliver needs me to do my best and I feel like a terrible mother for just not WANTING to do it anymore. Don't get me wrong, I am taking my insulin and wearing my continuous monitor and taking care of myself I just don't have the passion to do it anymore.
I guess I am looking for some encouragement just to get me to the finish line. The holidays are here, I feel like crap, I look even worse, and my BG's are pathetic (for me). Diabetes is not a sprint, it's a marathon and I have been sprinting for 2 years.
Any words of wisdom or thoughts are appreciated. Thanks so much!!!
Rachel I haven't quite made it to the pregnancy stage as of yet but I think we all have reached a point pregnant or not that we were like this sucks! But you are almost there Hun just continue to hold out and pray. Remember that even though you are running the race their are many of us who have signed up but have not yet been chosen and would love to be in your shoes. I have been trying now and haven't came up with any results and sometimes I get so frustrated but I know that with patients and faith God will Bless my fiancee and I with this miracle, that you have right now. Be strong for Oliver and yourself getting to hold him and see him in the end will let you know that the struggle was worth every minute you endured. I will keep you in my prayers I know you can gather the strength to pull through!
It's normal to feel diabetes burnout. It's also normal to get tired of being pregnant. Don't be so hard on yourself. Your frustrations are just feelings, they aren't reality.
Try to take extra good care of yourself and make sure you're getting some time away from kids, work, and any other responsibilities. Take a nap. Get a pedicure. Buy a super cute maternity outfit for Thanksgiving (who cares if you'll only wear it a few more weeks!). Take walks and stretch. Go swimming if you can, or at least take a bath.
Your glucose meter isn't a judge. It's just a tool that shows if you need to take a little more insulin or eat a snack. Try to look at adjusting your insulin and getting good blood sugars as a game, not as some sort of test of motherhood. You're doing your best and no one is perfect.
You are going to be totally fine. Before too long you'll be holding a beautiful new baby and your pregnancy will seem like a blip. Take care.
I think that's normal. I know I sure felt the same way towards the end. I remember telling my doctor I was SOOO READY to have this baby when I was about 32 weeks and he laughed and said I might be ready, but the baby wasn't. She ended up being born at 37 weeks (induced because of pre-e). It felt like an eternity, but it was all worth it. It's so much work having diabetes during pregnancy, and it can be very emotional and stressful constantly worrying about how your blood sugars are. But honestly, it really is worth it. You are growing a little miracle inside of you! And once baby is here you will forget all the bad parts. I remember complaining so much during pregnancy, and now I already find myself talking about having another one in a few years. LOL
Thanks Ladies! I so needed to hear that. Don't know if it's the hormones or what, but I'm tearing up a bit here. I never felt like this with our first son and I feel like such a terrible person for feeling this way now. It's just nice to have some support. Thanks so much for the encouraging words!
Rachel you are sooooo important and doing a great job. I have also hit the burnout point at 35 weeks. I keep thinking, well they just tell me my baby is huge even though my A1C is 6.5 so I am messing up anyways might as well just try to be normal. but I know that isn't healthy thinking or good self talk...just frustration coming out. with a lot of appointments you get information overload
that is EXACTLY how i am feeling. no matter how 'good' i am doing it isn't good enough so why bother trying. obviously, we need to keep on doing everything in our power, but it is so blasted discouraging. in the end when we are holding our pumpkins none of it will matter. but for now, ugh. lol
You all need to read "The Girlfriends' Guide to Pregnancy" if you haven't already. The author, Vicki Lovine, gives a hilarious, real life look at pregnancy. It's informative, but not preachy like most other pregnancy books. Be warned it's a bit R-rated in parts. Still a must read for anyone in the last trimester.
The last trimester with diabetes is the WORST! No matter how hard you try, it doesn't seem like it makes a difference so why put in the effort? You're in the home stretch - hang in there. Its totally worth it and after you have your baby, its a free ride for 6 weeks.
Hang in there. Use lag times. And watch the CGM with realistic expectations.
I have some other questions for you related to your pregnancy - PM me if you have a minute.