Unsupportive Family

I've been having a tough time with my family lately. They don't talk to me about diabetes (mine or in general). They say they've researched it but say ignorant things like my mom telling me I caused my diabetes. If I do try to talk about it they either get annoyed (to quote one sibling- "diabetes is all you talk about"), or angry (getting yelled at by another when I was low because I was confused when she was trying to talk to me). One sibling told me that people live with diabetes every day and are fine. Her excuse for not talking about it. They're ignoring the serious side and the facts of the disease. I want them to understand that this is a scary thing that affects my life in every way but I really think they just don't care.

I know other people have had to have problems with lack of support at times too. How do you deal with it? Do I fight it out with my family or just not talk to them about my diabetes? I don't think I'm ever going to get through to them but how can I maintain a relationship with my family when I feel like my health doesn't matter to them? I'm trying to get my mom to go to a diabetes educator but I know my siblings wouldn't ever go.

Cor, I am sorry you are going through this. I've had a similar situation with my family members, and taking them to a diabetes support group is what I ended up doing. I had to cry my eyes out and say that I was scared and not only needed, but deserved their unconditional love and support. Diabetes IS a serious disease; it is a 24/7 job that requires close attention and monitoring, and most people are "fine," but that doesn't make it any less serious.

You could try writing or typing a letter and mailing it to your family members (or directly giving it to them). Sometimes, people don't want to face the inevitable or admit that they are scared, too. Perhaps by reading your letter, they will listen and reconsider their insensitivity.

I wish you the best, and if all else fails - you always have your Juvenation family.

Most of my family members never ever talk about my Diabetes. And when my Diabetes has been brought up to other people I hear my family members telling them that I am so good with dealing with my Diabetes and that I never have problems. That is nowhere near the truth. The truth is that they have no idea what my HA1c levels are or when I am having lows or what any of it means. It is just easier for them to act like everything is fine rather than talk about it.  They have never done research on it or wanted to show support by joining any drive for a cure. So anyway, I guess I am saying I know how you feel. I think it is hard for people to ever think about someone in their family hurting and them having no control or ability to change it. Maybe their fear of feeling helpless makes them helpless. The only ways I have gotten through to them or any of my friends is just asking when I need something specific -- like I need juice now or can you come with me to the doctors?  And yes you do have to ask every time. It is very frustrating and I feel your pain. Hang in there!

Thanks a lot for sharing with me. My family can be good and then they can just be terrible about my diabetes. I know they'll never really understand it but I wish they would want to know more. I am lucky to have my Juvenation family! Thanks for being here when I need the support. :)

You can't chose your family but you can chose your friends. This was an important lesson in life for me. My siblings are greedy evil creeps and it didn't come out until my dad became ill. My friends are what got me through it.

Hi Cor. I am so sorry your family is making it difficult for you. It sounds to me as though they are in denial. They don't want to know about the seriousness of this disease. Would they attend a support group for the parents of a diabetic? That would be helpful. Your diabetic educator should tell you where and when there are meetings, or give you contact information. Some groups are for the diabetic also. In that case, you could get help in how best to deal with your family. Another possibility, is to have either the diabetic educator, and/or a physician (preferrably one they know) have a talk with your parents. I wish you the best of luck. :-).