Hayley, I think this can be explained fairly easily. The older you get the more you don't care what people think. I being older. Lol. I think this goes for many things not just diabetes. I am always impressed with young people that can have that attitude to let it fly because it is harder for them. I talk about it when the opportunity presents itself because a lot of people are uneducated about it, but I do believe time and age may be a factor.
Hayley,
I found this post after returning to the site after a few months away to try to deal with a few things personally & medically. After reading what has already been posted about this thread that you started & I have really struggled about what I should really post about it. And now that I've had time to consider how to respond I want to see what others will post.
When I was diagnosed with D I had just turned 19 & it was very hard for me I went through all the training & had pervious experience with T1. When I was 13 my little brother was diagnosed with T1(he was 10) and for the 1st few yrs he did great, my parents changed how we ate, but not that really changed I just couldn't have junk food in the house. But after my brother's first 2 yrs he changed, he wanted to live his life & not be different. My parents had to do daily food sweeps of his room because he didn't always want to eat when he was supposed to, things got worse & there were alot of trips to the hospital & I was scared beyond belief to think that this could be happening to my family. But it was & I was VERY hard on my little brother riding him about taking care of himself & doing the right thing. He had to repeat the 8th grade 3 times because he spent so much time in the hospital. Then I moved out at the age of 19 & 4 month's later I was T1. And I was devestated when I called home to tell my folks they said that they expected it.
I was angry, hurt, mad & I just wanted to be normal. At work everyone looked at me differently espically when I had to give a shot. The bf that I had at the time had a brother that also had T1 & he was dying from not taking care of himself. And the bf thought that it was funny to tell people when he brought my insulin & needles to work that what he was bringing for me was herion(So not funny) and I lost that job the next day even when I tried to explain. A few yrs later when I moved to another town & was trying to start again I was at work and I was working early shifts at the time(5am-1pm) I had a serious low & when I woke up(came to) my supervisor fired me because I was to much of a risk to have there. I found another job waiting tables but this time i kept to myself & never told anyone that I had diabetes & since I worked in a kitchen I could hide the low pretty good. That year I left my bf of 4.5 yrs for personally reasons but also because he told me that no one would ever love me because I was diseased. So that gave me a drive for a little while I wanted to prove him wrong so I went to college & my little brother moved in with me. That was a great yr. I would say out of 5 days a week I would come home from my classes 3 days to find my brother in a low so bad I would have to work on him for an hr with syrup before calling 911 to come get him. They knew my voice & address by the end of the 1st semester. At the end of that yr I moved away & left my brother to fend for himself. He died a few months later in a motel all by himself because his body couldn't take the abuse that he had put himself through for yrs trying to be normal. Since then I've always blamed myself for his death because if I'd stuck around maybe he would still be here.
For the next few yrs I was pretty messed up and stopped taking my insulin for about 8 months because I for one was having a hard time affording supplies & for the other that I found it was a great way to lose alot of weight fast. I didn't know how dangerous it was but that wouldn't have stopped me then. The next yr I moved to Toronto ON to go back to school & became more comfortable with the diabetes not that I accepted I just did the mininum to keep myself alive. I was with a new bf that I thought was supportive & loved me no matter what but right before we were to get married he told me that he couldn't marry me because he could live knowing that my diabetes was going to kill me young. So again I moved and went to different province to start all over again.
So I've been here for 6 yrs now & am in a new relationship for the past 5 yrs & when I meet this guy I had no intention of tell him in detail what me having diabetes could mean to him, I only wanted him to know how to help me if i really needed it. And it was like this for the first 3 yrs of this relationship until 2 yrs ago I was diagnosed with thyroid cancer and it really messed with everything. I couldn't work & had alot of trips to the hospital from work, he is now at the point that he can tell roughly where my bs are just by looking at me & my attitude. And this has been the hardest battle of my life and I had to depend on him so much more than i every inteded. Because my current bf didn't know anything about diabetes & i wanted to keep it that way but if it wasn't for him i would have never made it through having cancer & i wouldn't be here now probably.
Over the time of having cancer alot of things have become very clear & so now I only answer questions when someone asks, i test where i need to & i don't worry about the looks or the gossip from others. But at the same time I live my life in a different way than many other diabetes. Alot of the time I don't worry about what I'm eating I just eat what I want like choclate bars, cakes, candy. I have a treat everynight almost and I don't hide it. I am not involved in any Diabetes organization, not that I haven't tried but these days I stick to my self as I don't know another person that has T1. And there are probably support groups in my area for adults with T1 but I don't feel the need to go to them and have others pity me for my story it has made me who i am, but if someone asks questions or is interested then i would give them some info. I'm not up on the lastest news about a cure, or any other technology.
To me I live my life the way i do because it works for me. And so I write all this to give a different point of view and nothing else I don't want pity because I don't feel pity my life has made me strong & the person that I am.
I'm comfortable, 99.9% of the time. (Every now and then I just want to pretend it doesn't even exist, though!)
But I have a RL friend who has had T1 since she was 7 (we're now in our early 30s), and she's a little bit quiet about it. She doesn't necessarily hide it, but I never knew she had diabetes for... at least a year of hanging out with her in groups and even having regular dinners out with her? And when I did find out, her tone of voice definitely suggested "It's not a big deal, let's move on to another topic." (That said, when I found out I had D, she became very open with me and was extremely helpful.)
And now, I'm definitely more "involved" with the D community and advocacy than she is. However, I've always chalked it up to the fact that this is new and a huge deal to me, while it's just a part of life to her. I know not all veterans are that way, but she just lets it blend as seamlessly into her life as possible and otherwise doesn't focus on it. I can totally see that happening over time.
Hey DD, I actaully really get your general idea here, and I really do respect your decision to not advertise. I actually kind of agree it's not important for everyone to know all about T1 D. (Though I do think it's good for people to know the basic symptoms of D, both types, so they can get to the doctor before they need an ER.) I just wanted to clear that up first.
[quote user="DDrumminMan"] I don't think I need to spread awareness either. If someone gets it, they'll learn about it like we did. If they don't, then why do they really need to know? [/quote]
This statement simply made me think of my own pet cause: The huge misconception that only kids get T1. I was lucky to have a good GP who tested to find out what kind of D I had, but I've heard a lot of horror stories about adults automatically being diagnosed T2, given metformin and a diet plan, and being sent home... only to get progressively worse and end up in the ER when they might have been able to avoid DKA. Ever since then, when I meet an adult who says something about having just been diagnosed or going to the doctor because they have D symptoms, I tell them, "Ask the doctor to make sure of what type of diabetes you have, if you have it, because some will assume it's type 2 based on your age, which doesn't exclude you from type 1, and the treatments are actually very different."
So, just wanted to share, that's part of why I personally advocate.
Hayley-
I admire you for starting advocacy with T1. Good for you!
I have told all my family, friends, and co-workers about my T1.....just because I want them to know what is going on with me and what to do in case of an emergency. Everyone I have told knows where my glucose tablets are and what to do if I ever get too low. I find it beneficial to educate people--not only to let them know the truth about diabetes, but to help you out, too. There are WAYYYY too many misconceptions about diabetes. Everyone has been so supportive, they help keep my determination and strength up! I need them to know.
I test in public and inject in public, but I am also discrete about it. You never know who may get grossed out, so I try and sit in a booth or against a wall. I don't think I would want to see that if I was not a diabetic. I think it's just respectful--I don't want to offend anyone. Before I was diagnosed and took insulin, I had a serious needle phobia....I couldn't watch blood get drawn from my arm, get a vaccination in my arm...nothing. So, I take that into consideration for others that may or may not be watching me. I always try and ask the people I am with if they get grossed out by needles before I do anything in front of them too. I actually used to go in the bathroom when I was just starting out, but some bathrooms are just, let's face it, DISGUSTING. I'm not going to set my stuff on the germ-infested countertop or toilet paper dispenser! YUCK.
I am so glad that we have diabetes classes at my clinic. They are mixed--granted I am the only one that is a T1 in my class right now, but I haven't learned so much about T2. I am also teaching T2's about T1 at the same time. I have a few friends that are T1 and we bounce stories and ideas off of each other....I think, sometimes, that we NEED to talk about it...to know we aren't alone. That's why I love this website too. I'm not alone =)
Good luck, Hayley! Hope this helps.
--Kelly
Hi Hayley!
I've only had t1 for a year now, so I'm still a little shy about testing in public. I'm afraid of what people will think or if they will judge me for the food I'm ordering or the sugary coffee drink I'm buying. So I will tend to test/bolus in the car before I get into the public place I'm going in. I generally do not share with new people I've just met that I have t1. I'm afraid that will be the one thing they remember me for when they see me again. But I am comfortable talking with the DOC, a place where we are all pretty much in the same boat. I'm grateful for the DOC!
I think it's great what you are doing at your school. Good luck with everything!
Nicole