Why do I feel guilty about having diabetes? I wish I had better control.
I know what you mean - let’s break it down. You say you feel guilty about having T1D, but let’s face it, there is absolutely nothing to blame ourselves for. We don’t even know what triggers it, and it’s obvious that some genetic anomaly is in play, because most of us are the first in our families to even have it. So while it sucks that we are the “chosen ones”, it is what it is, as they say.
What I assume you mean is that you feel guilty about your level of management. I personally don’t like the word “control”, because it suggests we have the ultimate say over what our BG’s do. We don’t. Our malfunctioning bodies are in control. All we can do is MANAGE our BG levels. Now that’s an empowering word! We can influence our BG’s by eating lower-carb foods (probably the easiest way to maintain decent control), exercising moderately and consistently, managing stress levels, and of course checking our BG’s frequently so we can identify patterns and correct highs and lows so that we stay in range as often as possible, or adjust our dosages to correct patterns that are off.
And that last part is the holy grail. I’ve had it for 31 years, and I can’t believe how distracted I got over the years by all the mixed messages and well-meaning advice I’ve gotten from my medical team and others. It’s ultimately all about staying in range as often as possible, and the rest will hopefully take care of itself. I have some beginning complications, but I’m doing pretty good after having it for decades, given how lousy my control was during those early years.
So with that said, what other things about T1D are causing you grief?
I feel guilty as well because everyone at school now judges me. it sucks and the first thing that my family thought when I was diagnosed was why did she eat so much sweets like I did it to myself. like it’s just not right. you know, they are supposed to be there for you and their first thought was of something rude? how is that right? no my numbers are going crazy and I can’t get in control of it. I just don’t know what to think of them anymore.
Do you mean you feel guilty for having it? Because I’m sure we didn’t do anything to deserve Type 1 (nobody deserves to have any kind of disease, but it happens). We don’t even know why it happens, and there must be some genetic component because most of us are the first in our families to even have it. So let that part go - if you feel people are judging you, some probably are, but not everyone. And you can’t do anything about their ignorance - we are a pretty small subset of the diabetic population, so we can’t expect the average person to know anything about Type 1, even if they have a family member or close friend with it.
I assume your guilt is about your level of control? I don’t like the word “control”, because it suggests that we have the ultimate say over our BG’s. We don’t. Our bodies are a little broken, and they will ultimately do what they will. I like the term “management”, which is much more empowering! I can influence my BG’s by eating fewer carbs, exercising moderately and consistently, and most of all, checking my BG frequently to look for patterns and correct highs/lows. That’s really the name of the game when it comes down to it. This is your diabetes, not anyone else’s, so hold your head high and show them the grace in which you can handle it!
Your pancreas doesn’t work so you have highs and lows. Having a pancreas that doesn’t work is nothing to feel guilty about.
There is no perfect in living with diabetes. Managing it can be effortless sometimes and feel impossible other times. Just try to find what makes your life easier and what reduces highs and lows so you have energy to do the things you want to.
If you are having specific problems, bring them on and let TypeOneNation help you kick their rear! The cool thing about diabetes is that blood sugar is affected by so many different things. So you can usually find a bunch of different ways to solve a problem.
I have had T1D since I was a child and am now a grandmother and people continually make comments indicating that I must really be type 2 because type 1’s don’t live to be my age. They continually coming up with foods I can eat and tell me I could get off insulin if I do! It is frustrating! I already eat way better than they do, walk and ride a bike every day of my life and am very well controlled. Most of my friends have no idea I’m diabetic but for those who do I just wish they would understand that I have never had a choice. The very reason I don’t tell people is this. I kept quiet when I was a kid because I learned fast that other kids thought you weren’t like them, and teachers didn’t want you to over exert. I get all that and always have but now I’m older as are most of my friends and I’d just like a bit of understanding without all of them trying to fix what no Doctor has been able to fix since I wa 7.
hi kaer,
if I cared what other people thought, or I tried to educate everyone about what diabetes is or the differences between type 1 and type 2… well… I would be sad and tired every day. There is a trick I learned which is to smile, nod, and say “thanks” to folks I don’t want to offend, but could care less what was coming out of their mouths. it works pretty good. you can always come here for understanding because since it is part of our lives, we all get it!
good luck
Jennagrant: You said “The cool thing about diabetes is that blood sugar is affected by so many different things. So you can usually find a bunch of different ways to solve a problem.”
Could you elaborate on this some? I’m curious about what other different ways you might try to solve a problem like, say, high fasting BS with some alternative ways than just food and insulin?
It’s easier to say than do most things. In this case I would say what many recruits in the military hear on a regular basis. “Embrace the suck and make it yours.” We must have a more disciplined attitude towards everything we do. I run 3 miles on a regular basis. I also have a constant glucose monitor. Strangely enough, I do not get the same trending when I run each time. It varies depending on last night’s meal and other mundane elements involving the rest of my gastro intestinal system if you get my drift. My work day is never consistent in regards to level of activity. The CGM is a tremendous help but it is not by any means a great leap forward in technology. It’s just a very expensive and slightly more useful tech than test strips.
So take my advice or don’t but remember it’s always better to attack your problems than cower in the dark waiting for them to come get you. Any time you need a pep talk just let me know, I got a million of 'em I’ve used on myself and others.
I saw this post and had to click. I understand what you guys are saying. I’m 21-years-old, and have only recently moved out. I still am not paying for my meds on my own, because I’ve only had my job for a month. I’ve always felt guilty about the cost of my medication, even though its clearly out of my own control. My parents are wonderful people, but even they didn’t realize the effect of complaining about the cost had on me. It made me feel like I was an obligation more than anything else- such a rotten feeling to have. People get annoyed with money. I totally get that. I mean, I was raised by them! We’re frugal. The layers of bad feelings associated with type 1 are real and we need to be honest about them to get through them.