Although I feel ridiculous posting, I’m hoping it will feel like journaling and help me relieve some of this aggrivation and tension I’m feeling that is consuming me daily.
I’ve only been diagnosed Type 1 since Sept 18. I’m 31 and this came as a complete surprise. Too much info is being thrown my way from too many sources. My work is suffering, my physical and emotional well being are suffering, and my relationship with my husband is suffering. I’m taking time off of work now because I just couldn’t take it anymore (it is a new job with a high expectation level and very high demand). I feel like I am spiralling and it hasn’t even been a full month. I don’t know what’s normal and what’s not normal. I’m afraid of what people are thinking of me (am I being a baby? Do I just need to toughen up and get over it? Am I acting like it’s a bigger deal than it is?) I have no clue how to feel. I’m nervous about so much… My other organs, starting a family, comas, seizures, other complications… It’s very overwhelming.
I just joined this site today to be proactive in getting more support and having a better avenue to vent to people who get it. I’m hopeful it will help.
I just wanted to say hi and let you know that this community will be there for you. I was diagnosed in January (age 28), and I’ve found that finding other type 1’s who understand what you’re going through is really helpful.
Your feelings are definitely valid! Type 1 just introduced a major source of uncertainty into your life. For awhile, I definitely felt like my body had somehow betrayed me. I’m so sorry to hear you’re struggling in your job as well. I think my major advice would be just to take it one day at a time. Right now, your worry needs to be the basics of counting carbs and controlling your blood sugar. If you can get that under control, you drastically lower your risks of complications. So I’d suggest putting off many of those thoughts for a minute, and focusing on it in more manageable pieces. Hopefully others in this community that are long-time diabetics can give you some encouragement-I have met many people now that have been type 1 all their lives, and they have families, run marathons, and generally do amazing things.
One thing I really remember from the week after I was diagnosed was looking around my home and just feeling like diabetes had taken over. There were pamphlets and supplies everywhere…my whole dining room table was a mess of assorted medical supplies and hospital print-outs. And I just got to the point where I said “enough.” I straightened it all up, cleared off the table, and made the resolution that while I was going to do my absolute best to manage my disease, I also wasn’t going to allow it to define how I felt about myself, my abilities, my life…it’s so overwhelming at first, but I truly believe you will get to a place where it is manageable and be able to start living your life again! Please check back in with updates-this group is great about answering questions and being supportive. I think everyone here has gone through a time where they struggle with this disease: mentally, physically, or both.
I remember when I was 1st diagnosed 5 years ago at the age of 21. It was by far the hardest thing I have ever had to mentally endure. I remember my sister crying to me a few months after my diagnosis because she just “wanted to see me smile again.” I literally remember like it was yesterday. I felt that my life was over. That I would never be able to do this. I felt like giving up. But I’ve come to realize that you will be amazed to see how strong you truly are when you have no other choice.
I just signed up for this site 5 minutes ago. And this is after having T1 for 5 years. I can tell you from experience that bottling up the emotions that come with diabetes is so exhausting. Many of us don’t have other people in our personal life who can relate to what we go through. So good job on being so proactive to engage in something like this so soon. I’ve dealt with this “alone” and can’t do it anymore.
I am not going to mislead you by telling you all the fears and emotions go away. But know that knowledge is power. Educate yourself and you will learn to better control the fears and emotions. Personally my fear in the beginning was from the unknown. Having no idea what lies ahead or how my life would change was scarier than anything else. As you learn you become more comfortable with the diabetes.
Anyways, hang in there and keep your head up. And don’t feel like you’re making a bigger deal than it is. It is a huge deal. It’s life and death. And anybody that doesn’t have it cannot possibly understand. It never gets easy but I promise it will get better.
Thank you so much… Both of you… I found myself nodding along as I read.
The unknown is scary, and I’m a “future fretter” so I’ve find myself thinking of things down the road even more so now than I already did.
What was getting exhausting was saying “okay thanks” or “good thanks” whenever anyone asked me how I was doing because I didn’t want them to get sick of me telling the truth, “not good… Scared out of my mind… Tired… Overworked and barely hanging on…” I started to dread running into people at work because I didn’t want them to ask, so I wouldn’t have to put on a fake smile and lie…
Again, thanks for your time, kindness, and responses of hope.
In the beginning I remember almost being ashamed or embarrassed to let people know. Only my close family and friends knew what was going on. When I went out to eat I would hide in a bathroom stall to check my bs and take insulin. When I went to friends houses I would leave my kit in the car.
Now I have zero shame lol. I don’t give a shit what people think anymore because they couldn’t possibly understand anyways. I take my shots in the middle of a busy restaurant. Hell I’ll even take my shot while sitting at a bar during happy hour drinking the biggest glass of ice cold beer available.
My advice is to own diabetes. It is going to become an identifying part of who you are. Most people who know you will associate you with diabetes. Accept it and learn to embrace it. Because in time people will look at you as one of the strongest people they have ever met. And you WILL be.
The hardest part of being diagnosed is “accepting” it all. By you being on this website shows that you are strong enough to come to terms with reality and accept. It’s ok to put on the fake smile to co-workers with constant responses of “I’m ok.” But address your issues somewhere. This is not something that will go away on its own. It can’t be swept under the rug. But with the right mind set it can all be managed.
I totally understand where you are coming from. I was diagnosed just over a year ago in September 2014 at the age of 23. It can out of no where and I definitely remember the first few months being a blur of being trying to tell me to be brave but also struggling. I still struggle a lot with carb counting and keeping my blood sugar always in good control because I am only 24 years old and have to remember I can’t always eat the same way I used to. I will say that don’t let people tell you that you can’t eat sugar and carbs at all. That is definitely not the case its more of realizing which carbs are worse and better and just limiting the amount have of each.
You are not alone at all. I really only tell my boyfriend when I am having good/bad days because he is around me all the time. What is really nice is that he knows when my blood sugar is high or low and is my biggest advocate. Your husband and family will never fully understand it because it is not them, but they will try their best to support you. I have learned to have a voice when it comes to eating and such so my friends and family know I need to eat, what I can eat etc.
This community is getting bigger and bigger so definitely come on here and share your thoughts. You are not alone!
You are completely not alone. I was diagnosed as Type 1 in March at the age of 28 after being misdiagnosed as a Type 2. From the very beginning, it made my head spin. How many carbs is too many? What do I do during a low? How do I function?? I had just moved into my apartment and now six months later, I have to move back in with my parents because I just can’t focus on my health, my job and my own place. But the other day, a friend led me here and I can already tell I’m here for the long haul. I’ve been posting SO much already and relating in so many different ways to things everyone is saying. It’s like I’m finally home. It’s going to be a really long road but the great part is, you’re not alone. We can help each other, guide each other and work towards happiness and strength together. I hope you have a great day!
You are not alone! I was diagnosed at age 28, back in February of this year. The diagnosis hit me like a ton of bricks - I have spent most of my adult life teaching others about health, fitness and nutrition and then I get hit with this illness that I couldn’t have done anything to prevent and it was like a sick joke. I can totally relate to feeling overwhelmed. There’s a lot of information out there, but from my experience (very little compared to the veterans here, I’m sure!) the most valuable information is what you learn from frequent blood sugar testing. It’s likely that your insurance company won’t provide you with enough test strips to test as often as necessary to really learn how your body responds to different foods, stress, lack of sleep, exercise, etc. I go on Amazon and order extra test strips so that I can test as often as I’d like. Other Type 1’s, on online communities like this, have been the best source of advice for me. No doctor, nurse, or dietitian “gets it” like another Type 1 does.
I did end up taking a lot of sick days when I was first diagnosed. If you’re able to, it’s completely OK to take extra time to process what’s going on. You’re not being a baby. I have a few coworkers who seem to think that I should’ve “gotten things under control by now” and don’t understand why my diabetes is something I have to constantly be aware of. Don’t let that keep you from taking care of yourself. It’s hard for anyone to understand unless they are going through it personally.
An immediate resource that’s a little more scientific is Gary Schiener’s “Think Like a Pancreas” book. It’s been such a huge help for me in terms of understanding how insulin works and how to figure out dosages, etc. I just can’t say enough good things about it!
You’re going to be just fine! There are others just like you, and we remember what it was like when we were first diagnosed, too!
Your responses have been very helpful. The weight is slowly lifting now that I have people to talk to who understand where I’m coming from. Thank you for addressing my fears and anxieties. That’s what I needed.
I have to say I find this point of view SO refreshing. I’ve been so tired lately of hiding away in the bathroom to do my insulin like it’s something I should be ashamed of. This is not something I did to myself but it is something I can own. You are one hundred percent right. Thank you for your words! <3
I agree at first I used to always try to hide checking my BS or hiding in the bathroom to give shots. I quickly realized most of the time people are not paying that close attention to what I was doing and if they did well then they saw how strong I was for taking control and taking care of myself.
I have to say acceptance of being T1 is definitely something I continue to struggle with. I often think this was just a dream and I am gonna wake up one day and not have it anymore. The best piece of advice someone gave me was when I was around friends and family to inform them what I was doing by checking my blood sugar, giving myself a shot etc so they can learn also. Another thing is to learn to be advocate for yourself. Stick up for when you need to eat etc and also have your close friends and family be able to advocate for you if in a situation in which you might not be able to.
this is a great resource to talk about it and share! We are not alone and we will get through this and hopefully one day will be able to say we are T1 free!
Just recently signed up to the group and I’m so glad I saw this thread. Dlombardi I feel the very same way as you. I had just been officially diagnosed with T1 today. I am freaking out about this. I don’t know what to do and this is so overwhelming to me. I guess I just never thought I would have diabetes. I’m so active and eat right but I guess it isn’t all about that since genetics has to do with it as well. I’m sorry if I sound uneducated about this, it’s bc I actually have no idea what I need to do. I’m also in denial that this is happening to me as well… Sigh… Im sorry, this is so just scary to me. Everything is changing as I know it now. I’m just so lost.
Hey Allen! First, welcome! Second, it’s going to be okay. I’m going to tell you what my diabetes specialist said to me and that is: this is not your fault. This is nothing you did. You didn’t eat the wrong things. You’re not too fat. You’re not a failure. Type 1 can happen to anyone at any time for any reason. Now that you’re here, we’re going to help to guide you while still learning ourselves. This community is amazing and I’m so glad for it. You should probably get ahold of an endocrinologist(diabetes specialist) and they can help you out a lot, refer you to a nutritionist if you need it, etc. I know it’s hard to come to terms with the diagnosis because sometimes I don’t believe it either and it’s been months. But just take it one day at a time and we’re here for you!
hi @Dlombardi it’s been a long time since my diagnosis but I wanted to say that it is good for your self-esteem to be talking about it. I went into a rage with my diagnosis and it ended up being the spark of a very long depression. please keep talking about it - you can feel ridiculous if you want to but know that I don’t think so, I think it takes courage and strength to talk about what you are going through and right now I think you are awesome. there are a lot of us here, from the newly diagnosed to folks dealing with this for decades. hope you get and continue to seek feedback.
@AllenG35 I hope you can get yourself a good CDE, they will help you the first year and believe me, I am no genius, and I was able to figured it out with help.
If I may, I’d like to ask some questions about work. I have a very high demand, high pace, high expectation job. It also happens to be a new job, so there’s added pressure there. Now that I have this diagnosis, I feel like a failure when it comes to getting all I have to get done, done.
How did all of you handle your job situations? Did any of you ask for lighter work loads? More small break times?
I just started a new job as well about 6 weeks ago. I was up front with them about my diabetes and told them if I get up to go to the bathroom or need a lot of water it was because of my diabetes. I also told them that if I am ever exhibit any symptoms to ask me to check my blood sugar. In case I was going low or if I was really high and seemed zoned out. I work at a big marketing/ distribution company and everyone has been very accommodating. I was able to get assigned the closer parking garage so I have easy access to my extra supplies or snacks. As a diabetic you can actually eat at your desk or keep snacks .
Definitely talk to your manager, co workers etc and explain how you JUST got diagnosed and need to adjust to the new lifestyle and need to slowly become integrated with adjusting to diabetes and your new work. Most companies should be accommodating especially with a new diagnosis. I would go with what you are most comfortable with. I hope that it works out well. The first few months after diagnosis are such a blur.
Best of luck as you talk to your company and explain everything you are going through!
The hardest part is often adults don’t know much about t1 and don’t fully understand what is involved!
<li>So within 2 months of my diagnosis I landed the best job of my life. However, it is Very high stress, quotes, very competitive, cut throat, high level of demand type of outside sales job. I was still very much in the learning process with T1 and it hadn't even been really hit as a reality yet. I was definitely still trying to accept the idea of having diabetes.
I managed to push through the first couple months and really just kept it to myself as much as possible. Once I got to the point where I had fully accepted my diabetes it was so relieving to just own it. My motivation and ambition went through the roof. My drive, my work ethic, my attitude. Everything improved.
So just be upfront with them. Don’t push yourself to do more than you can handle for as long as it takes for the “storm” to pass. Let everything settle and see how you feel in a few months.
Maybe then you realize you don’t want to add the extra stress on top of things. Or maybe it affects you the way it did with me. I developed this unexplainable urge to succeed. To do better than everybody else that doesn’t have “what I have.” It turned into some type of personal challenge to me as something to show myself that this diabetes thing will not hold me back from anything. And that attitude has lead me to succeed more than I ever have would have without it. In work, being a single father, a better brother, and a better son. Turn it around and use it as motivation. You definitely learn to appreciate life more and that in itself is going to lead to greater work and personal success.
Point is, it’s ok to speak out and set boundaries for yourself. Do not be embarrassed to let people know if something is too much. With time you will mentally lift the boundaries. Good luck and keep us posted. It’s scary now… But know that you can do this!!! And you will
it’s been a long time since I had to prove myself at a new job, so my experience might be different than yours. I have always had chaotic, unnerving type jobs with huge pressure to perform, my specialty is finding solutions to technical problems in pharmaceutical research and manufacturing.
I haven’t really ever asked for light duty or longer breaks. 10 years ago I did get a pump because between the pressure, hours, skipping meals, and travel I found I had a really difficult time on MDI adn so my control was not so great. now it is better but I also do have many years experience treating t1 as well.
I know it’s tough, but you can survive the shortest amount of time without oxygen, so breathe. I would put blood sugar control somewhere on the “list”, but I say bs control is before work, so I’d say get to a manageable level of control (could take a year I would guess), then work on your head, and then optimize work.
Small break times are a must when working and do not be afraid or shy away from taking them. You will learn your body and what it is telling you. Check and if you need to treat a low, take a quick break. Sometimes i catch myself not taking small (needed) breaks but i recoup from that by snacking if i feel and test low. Keep in mind next time at the grocery store to load up on great portable snacks. My go to it To-Go Paks or Chewy Granola bars! Keep those handy!
Its always good to let other people around you at work, know about type 1 and what you might need in the event of something going wrong but to reassure yourself, make sure you are prepared also. It sounds like a lot but it has helped me tons from being in lectures to working all day.
Hi I’m Jill I was diagnosed with type 1 at age 37 the end of June. It was hard for me to accept and understand why this happened. I still have my days where I get upset. Is this normal to cry every once in awhile? I have my diabetes under control and I have a great support system.
