I have been on the insulin pump for 3 years and have had some problems. Skin sensitivity to the site adhesive, was the worst until i got barrier wipes.
But here is my main problem.
Before I got on the pump my H.A1C was 7. Since getting on the pump it has been 8.3 almost ever since. Sure I have been in college- but I was also in college before. The pump was also a wonderful tool for traveling and going abroad.
But mentally I can't work with the pump. It does not challenge me the way shots to. It does not challenge me to think about my diabetes the way I need to in order to feel good and be healthy.
Cheating is too easy. Insulin is there at a push of a button and I can't seem to wrap my brain around "Don't eat that you wont feel good." For three years I have been fighting a mental battle and loosing instead of the physical battle which I know I can win.
The pump is a tool which I am sure I'll use again in the future when traveling again and if I ever decide to have children. but until that time-
The insulin pump tore down walls, it gave me a type of freedom that was great- but destructive too.I have acknowledge that with limitations comes freedom as well.
If anyone has any comments I would like to hear them I would like to make a well rounded and thought out decision before I take this new step.
I would say that your behaviour sounds a bit self-destructive. I think that if you went back on insulin shots, you wouldn't be more regimented, your blood sugars would be MORE out of control.
I think you need to look back at the time in your life when your HbA1C was 7 and look at exactly the lifestyle you were living at that point, and try to replicate it as much as possible.
Do you see a dietitian meant to deal with Type 1 Diabetics? I think if someone gave you a meal plan to follow, you would be more likely to comply.
Do you exercise, or were you active at any point? I was on the shots for 20 years before I finally caved and went on the pump a little over 6 months ago. The major reason why I went on it was because it was impossible to accommodate being active on multiple daily injections. I saw the lives of the people whose health I wanted to emulate, and even though I'm nowhere near being some crazy triathlete, I was not happy having one unit of insulin be the difference between continually crashing during my workouts, or needing to take a correction dose after my workout. Your body may not be that sensitive, so you may not have had that problem. Although remember that the less insulin you are on, the more sensitive your body becomes to it, so the less you need to take, and the greater variance you will have with smaller differences in dosages. I don't know what kind of pump you're on, but my pump can dose in as small as 0.05 unit increments; my syringes were always in 1 unit increments!
I think if you want to reprogram yourself, having a pump will be more conducive to healthier behaviours. I believe you can set yourself a strict regiment if you want to. If your endocrinologist and dietitian can't help you out with that, I can. My intended career after university is to be trainer for Type 1 Diabetics, so I'm not going to tell you anything stupid! I think you just need the support, and I feel that you want the way that is most familiar to you, even if it may not help you in the long run.
Just my interpretation of it; feel free to disagree if I'm way off base.
It is not the pump. You are burnt out from having diabetes. Trust me I went through the same exact thing a couple of years ago. You have to get yourself back on track.
Try to remember this.... food in mouth, pump in hand, my CDE told me that and its been working.
I was struggling with 8.3-9.1 for the past 6 years on the pump. Before on shots.... 6.3-6.4 all the time. Now, I have been really concentrating on always pumping in a bolus. That was my main problem. Forgetting.
Pretend you are still on shots and that the insulin pump is a huge syringe. If you want to be strict do it. Think that you are on shots if you have to, and you will see it will help you to get yourself together. I have been there so if you need any help let me know.
I didn't know if/how I could message someone on here (sorry I didn't respond sooner).
Email
me at sha74 at sfu dot ca if you are still interested in talking (I'll
respond through my gmail, but I just didn't want to put my real name on
here).
I went throught the same process...actually I have to admit, that I was better on shots as well, having 7's for the longest time. Then I went to the pump during high-school and then to college and I shot up the 9-10's--- i was completly out of control....
until my doctor yelled at me...I couldnt believe a professional such as him self yelled AT me...then I realized he did it for my own good. He basically said that if I didn't work harder at controlling my diabetes then he wouldn't see me as a doctor anymore...I went home actually upset of the incident.
3 months later I went from a 10.2 to a 8.2...that was fanatastic in my eyes! Now I have to get tighter control and I am set.
Hopefully you will see what I did not "cheat" using the pump--- because I did the exact same thing! Just sit down and look at diet choices, and remembering to bolus- and the bolus the correct amount, and adjust.