I get very annoyed and upset with type 1 diabetics who do not control anything with their diabetes. I know it is THEIR fault and eventually they will get the diabetic complications we have all heard since we were diagnosed but sometimes i get really annoyed. I take real good care of my diabetes I watch everything, my sugars,exercise,stress, and my diet..my a1c is 5.9 and I check my blood about 10x a day bc I have hypo unawareness and this diabetic I work with who has absolutely no control makes me feel like Im crazy because of how I have decided to treat my condition. I mean I understand diabetes is a "bitch" , excuse my language but it is and we all know it but Ive had type 1 for 6yrs and I got it when I was 17 so I went through a period where I thought I could feel if I was high or low but my a1c was 8.1 and I knew feeling like this wasnt good and if I kept living the way I was I would have complications so now I have great control with an a1c of 5.9 so it looks like im on da road to no complications!! It just annoys me that I have to constantly feel like Im a weirdo cuz I am very well intuned with my diabetes..any1 else ever feel like this??? I also get annoyed because ya diabetes is bad and I know i got it for life but I mean why live a life where you are waiting for the doctor to come in and say your losing your eyes or you need dialysis..there is so much technology out there and Ive been on a pump for 8 months now and I love it!! The technology is here for a reason, so if your type 1 and your a1c is over 7, kick yourself in the butt and start having better control, it will only benefit you!! I know this was a long rant so sorry but ya this guy has been annoying the hell out of me!!!!
You should be commended for what you are doing for yourself in dealing with this disease. I too was diagnosed at 17 years old, but that was 48 years ago. I have only worked with one other type 1 diabetic in my career. She actually had some severe complications because of the disease but she was different than your co-worker in that she inspired me. She wore the first Insulin pump that I had ever seen and it had changed her life. I wanted one after working with her. Finally after five years or so, I got a pump of my own. I guess I am saying this because the person you work with is harming themselves by not taking this disease seriously. It will slowly destroy them. Sad, but true. Keep up with what you are doing. You are on the right track! Feel pity for the co-worker that mocks you. They will see soon enough, sadly, that what you are doing is the correct course
Like with most diseases (or as i like to call Diabetes, a condition), not everyone handles it the same way. Instead of hating those people, why not instead learn to understand that MAYBE this person is having a hard time dealing with their diagnosis, no matter how many years it's been.
I used to know a girl who looked for pity for her diabetes, stopped taking her insulin (which led to people telling ME at the age of 14, that i had to "fix" her problem) and got herself into a lot of medical problems.
When i was younger, i hated her(mainly because her mom told me i was responsible for her..wtf, i was 12 when she was diagnosed and NOT her friend!)..when I grew up, I came to feel sorry for her. She doesn't know how to handle her diabetes, her family didn't help at all, and sadly, now she's not in good health, on disability and taking care of a baby that her endo told her could've KILLED her to carry. I feel sorry she did that to herself, but it's not my problem so I don't concern myself with it.
you live your own life, let them live theirs. what they do or don't do, isn't really your concern. there's no point wasting your breath. if you've offered them help and they turn it away or they don't follow it...then forget about it and move on. if they come to you for help, then help. until then, live your own life.
i've had diabetes for 21 years and didn't take care of myself for quite some time.
people like you, dan, who judge me based on my a1c really really piss me off and annoy me. everyone has different goals for themselves. what makes you think because my numbers aren't the same as yours that i don't care about my health?
did it occur to you this person might be struggling with depression? this person could be dealing with a period of rebellion where dealing with diabetes is simply too much to handle. did it occur to you that you have NO IDEA what else might be going on in this person's life causing their diabetes to take a back burner.
for YEARS, and i mean probably a good 15 years, i had an a1c above 8. know what else? i developed complications related to diabetes when i was 8 years old after only 3 years living with the disease with excellent control.
so ya know what? fuck you. don't you dare judge me or anyone else when you don't know their life, the things they are dealing with, their own personal feelings, or a damn thing about them. you must really hate me because according to you i'm the worst person on the face of the earth. congratulations to you for doing such a great job. now get over yourself.
Gee whiz C. I think you are over reacting a bit. I know some people work real hard at control and an 8 a1c would be considered great! But I believe Dan B was saying it is frustrating to him that his acquittance mocks him as he tries to manage his disease as best he can while not even caring about their efforts at the disease. You have a point in that we don't know what is in their head. Certainly a lot more must be there as they are critical of someone trying to manage this confusing disease. Hey Dan B is new here and needs to be welcomed, not criticized!
i already welcomed him. ;o) he joined quite a few months ago.
Oops, you are right. Darn! wrong again!
Dan,
I am not diabetic, but my lovely daughter is. I absolutely hope she continues to take her diabetes seriously and keeps it under control, and hopefully she can avoid "complications". Her current A1C is 6.5, and we spend a lot of our time discussing diabetes management and learning all we can. To the rest of the world she looks like a happy, healthy 11 year old - which she is because (with help) she manages her blood sugars very closely, but she also doesn't let them control her.
I think I kind of understand your frustration, but I urge you to stop personalizing it so much. This person isn't you, or your spouse, or anyone who you have an intricate connection with. He absolutely gets to choose how to live his life, and you get to choose how to live yours. YOU know that your path is one to long health, so why would you let any reaction of this co-worker make you feel bad? If anything I'd feel sad for him. Maybe he doesn't have the support system or desire that you do. Some people are just not the type to spend the time/energy you have on managing diabetes, and I don't think we should look down on them for that. I think if anything you could let him know that you understand what a pain managing diabetes is, and you'd be happy to help him, if he decides he wants to learn to control it better.
That said, diabetes isn't the only condition where you're living "a life where you are waiting for the doctor to come in and say your losing your eyes or you need dialysis". You could say the same about a lot of behaviors; obesity, alcoholism, smoking, to name a few. But each person has a right to live as they wish, whether that means they'll live to 40, 60, or 80. I commend you for your hard work and devotion to your health, just realize that you can't expect each person to be where you are. Maybe if they're not there is a reason, and maybe they will eventually make those changes which will lead to better health. Unfortunately, nothing in life is guaranteed. We all just do the best we can with what we have and in our own circumstances.
Ok C, first of all you are completely over reacting I understand every1 has their own right to control their disease how they want but I guess I shouldnt have even brought this shit up because theres no way to explain this guy and if I explained him completely to you, you would see where my frustration comes from. Ive tried to be nice and offer help when he did in the past ask me questions about better control I mean for God's sake he still uses humalin(insulin). So idk where your aggression is coming from C but some well controlled diabetic must have pissed you off somewhere down the road and I hit a sore spot so I am sorry I offended you but it was just a rant. I guess I should have put that under blogs and not forums, guess my 20 forums didnt make me a vetern of this site. Anyways he is just annoying so sorry to offend any1 I was just trying to rant a little bit, sorry again to whom I pissed off I was not being arrogant about my control or any1 elses I was just talking about how my co worker makes me feel uncomfortable with the amount of attention I spend on my diabetes and he doesnt do anything. THATS ALL I MEANT BY IT!
I can understand both sides here. Dan B I totally understand where you are coming from in that I to know someone (very close to me in fact) that does not take care of herself. It is something that I have struggled with for a while. She often makes me feel like I take TOO GOOD care of myslef. I slip up ALL THE TIME and I have tried to make her realize this. I also don't understand why she doesn't take better care of herself. I definately don't judge her on her A1c's. Thats not the point. The part that frustrates me is that she continues to make poor choices that have landed her in hospitals and with many complications. For me I find it difficult because she is very vocal about how bad her diabetes is and how good mine is. She almost essentially uses diabetes as a scapegoat for everythign gone wrong in her life. I try not to judge her, but if im being honest... there is a part of me that does. But it goes both ways. She judges me for my hard work. I know that it IS different for different people but I would probably be in the same boat as her if I had made some of those same choices.
At some point a person has to take responsibility for themselves and have the courage to work through this disease/condition.
All that being said I don't think Dan B was trying to say he hates all people with bad A1c's etc etc. althought the title of the forum probably doesnt help... but that is the nature of written conversations versus verbal conversations. I try to be compassionate to other peoples situations. C... you are definitely right depression... and/or other issues can totally affect how a person deals with diabetes and their life in general...and we shouldnt judge people so quickly. We all have our own crap to deal with.
For me the person I speak of doesnt care to have help... and its frustrating... and when I hear constantly about how bad her life is... and how I have it soo good. Honestly what is a person supposed to think... I work hard to keep good control of my diabetes and just as I shouldnt judge others i shouldnt be judged either.
I dont always succeed but im still trying ... and thats the important part. The truly frustrating part is when you see a person being controlled by their diabetes and when there is no attempt to make it better.
Oh and DAn B... I have almost ALWAYs tried to take really good care of myself and I was on Humulin up until february... that doesnt mean I have not been taking care of myself ;)... it does mean however that my doctors were not pointing me in the right direction.
I am typically fairly calm and level-headed in my responses. You struck a nerve and last night I responded to a rant with another rant. Particularly, this comment is what annoyed me:
[quote user="Dan Brown"]
so if your type 1 and your a1c is over 7, kick yourself in the butt and start having better control
[/quote]
While my post was irrationally angry, we are both entitled to our opinions and reserve the right to rant on occasion. I understand I was rude and mean, and should have put more consideration into my response. So, for that, I apologize.
Ooohh flame war!
But enough about that...moral of the story is:
People will treat their bodies differently and not everyone will do things the way that someone thinks. Each decision has its own consequences and repercussions and it's no one's but the person performing the action (or inaction) responsibility.
[quote user="C"]
I am typically fairly calm and level-headed in my responses. You struck a nerve and last night I responded to a rant with another rant. Particularly, this comment is what annoyed me:
[quote user="Dan Brown"]
so if your type 1 and your a1c is over 7, kick yourself in the butt and start having better control
[/quote]
[/quote]
WHAT?!?! I didn't even SEE that comment!
I have only had my A1C under 8 ONCE in my WHOLE 16years of being Diabetic BUT I AM HEALTHY (usually hover around 8.5 and my endo is fine with that because I don't spike up and down, ever think that a stable A1C is good enough?)! I was on Humlin until I was 17years old to boot. I have ZERO complications and my blood work always comes back perfect.
Everyone has their own A1C target, and no, not all of them are under 7. If i had an A1C of 5.6 like yourself, I'd probably spend 90% of my time treating lows. Even my target of 6.6 means i would be taking too much insulin and have 10x more lows than i have now. The one time i made it to 7.5, was when I had a low 3x a week, sometimes 3x a DAY when i normally have many one or two a month! You shouldn't judge people by their A1C and you shouldn't even WRITE that if you have one above x number "you should kick yourself in the butt and get better control".
Now I'm pissed off that you would say something like that. What a jackass thing to say! if you're saying that shit around the dude not taking care of himself, you're not helping him, you're probably making things worse. no one needs that negativity when they need help.
no I dont say that around him and I dont meant that in a general term..i have told him that quote before when asked wat to do and then I give him the answer my doc told me and that was to get ur a1c under 7 so i tell him and then he starts bashing my docs and everything so this was a bad topic bc it is just one diabetic who is in a very bad situation and he likes to gloat about how diabetes and DIABETES only has made him like this and he says how he will never change medicine or his regime because new medicine hasnt been out on the market enough and thats fine its his life but i get frustrated when he knocks me for taking "good" care of myself thats all I was getting to..sorry to get everyone riled up last night/this morning, seriously was not meant in the way you guys are taking it but it is hard to tell where I am coming from, from an internet post, sorry again
THANKYOU! Amen to what you said, Batts.
I do not take good care of myself all the time, but hey, I'm working on it. my a1c was 8.9 this time and i've only had a a1c of 7 when i was EIGHT. Gimme a break, really? this whole post was just...stupid and (for lack of better words) jerky.
Hey Dan, I'm glad that you are doing so well. But really some people you can't save when they don't want to be saved. Also the perception of complications is very different in different people and even cultures, you are really blessed that you can wield such control. But don't think it is a good idea to try to wield such control over others, it will only cause stress and strain in this circumstance and harm what may otherwise be a good friendship.
You can say what you are saying until you are blue in the face, you can even come in having lived a life just like him and show your missing leg and the dialysis process, and it won't change his mind. I know, I've seen this, and watched people refuse to change.
I've also met people with perfect control like yours going blind from complications.
All I can say is keep caring and being a good example, be the resource that is approachable so when those that want to live a great life, have someone to turn to. =) your passion is what keeps you going!
well said stilledlife :)
okay people,
Having just read through this whole post I think some people are holding this rant by Dan B a little too personally. It is a rant, as he said, and we all go off on them sometimes, that is the POINT of these boards after all. He is expressing a frustration and seems to be getting a bigger headache by having done so.
He has said, several times, that this coworker has ASKED HIM for advice, then turns it around and makes him feel bad for having good control. I don't think there is a good friendship to be ruined there.
Dan B,
I am sorry you are having these issues. It can be hard to deal with people who "refuse to see the light" so to speak about taking care of themselves. It must be even more frustrating if he is making you feel bad about taking care of yourself and bashing the methods you use to do so.
I personally sometimes struggle with control myself, and was really horrible during my teenage years. My last a1c was a 7.2 and I am trying to get it into the 6's. But I won't hold you having a bad day, and something to get off your chest, against you.
Dan-
I get what you're saying. I have a pretty laid back attitude about diabetes and the fear of complications never motivated me. But I also have someone in my life who goes out of her way to take bad care of herself and not take responsibility for her actions. She has 2 beautiful children and is constantly in and out of the ER. This isn't just someone having a struggle or slacking off, it's like a mental illness. And though I'm far from perfect and hate to judge other people, she makes me mad. She puts her children in jeopardy (I once had to step in when she had a low blood sugar in the grocery store and her young son was trying to get sugar and begging her not to drive) and she makes all of us diabetics look bad.
I have gone out of my way to try to encourage her and share my own frustrations. But it's like trying to reason with an alcoholic who has no plans to stop drinking.
If you've helped your co-worker in a loving way, it might be time to step away from him and just not bring up D at all. He knows where you stand and will seek you out if he wants your help in the future. But in the meantime your best bet is to pray for him and to know you can't save someone from themselves.
-Jenna
Thank you very much for taking the time to understand where I was coming from. I am in no way bashing anyone who's a1c is high. It happens I kno like I explained earlier my a1c has been high too it was just he asks me for advice sometimes and then will turn it around and say I think what I am doing is fine and all this but I know he doesnt check his blood and he said something like whenever I check my blood its like 200. So then he"ll ask me what he can do to better manage it and I have said things like exercise, better diet(I still go to taco bell and burger king lol), and maybe a pump or something liek that and he will say theres no way that can really work and all this and try and make me feel dumb cause he"s 42 and Im 23. so i get annoyed and the other day he blew up at me bc I had a 54 blood glucose and needed to drink something real quick and he was bitching how I had to stop to correct it and sayin I do not take care of myself, so I got pissed. So sorry to everyone I made angry that was the situation and I was angry and probably shouldnt posted that type of topic in the heading