I HATE when people say its not that bad. Its like, yea it's not cancer, but its not like its an easy stroll through the park either!
I had a boyfriend once how liked to make jokes like "what do i do give you salt if youre low?" He didnt last long. He never understood about sugar being needed for lows.
aww sorry about that, Sue ):
In Walmart,with my husband,and here comes this loud mouth woman,who knows my husband.She made a b-line to me,and in a booming voice says -WELL HOW IS YOUR DIABETIC DAUGHTER? I said my daughter is FINE !!! I turned and walked away and left her standing.She is my baby and that hurt!!!Why didn't she just say -how is your daughter?
I am a rather skinny person (15 years old; 5 feet, 5 inches; and 102 pounds), and it is remarkable how many times people will say to me, "Well you don't look very fat, did you just have too much sugar?"
In defense of the "ignorant folks", I was one of those ignorant folks not less than two months ago. I couldn't have told you the difference between T1 and T2 if my son's life depended on it (as it turns out, it did). I got all of the same media-hyped input about diabetes that the rest of the world gets. You know, the shot of the fat person's enormous back-side waddling down the street, with an over-voice talking about "diabetes" and how we all eat too much junk food, and how it's a "lifestyle disease". It's horrible that our kids with T1 and all of the adults who have lived with T1 for years, young and old, get lumped in with T2 and its associations with poor lifetsyle choices. It really sucks. I don't want to tell you how many well-meaning friends and family have e-mailed me saying that a radical diet change might "cure" William's T1, and have I considered this-or-that alternative approach? As though I haven't spent the last two months learning everything there is to learn about diabetes.
I've had an advantage in re-forming my own thinking, because our son with T1 has a learning disability. Very early on, I was determined to think if him as a child with a learning disability, NOT as a learning disabled child. 'Cause there's NOTHING disabled about this kid, no matter what the experts say, and no matter what some outsider may think. So, when he was diagnosed with T1 in May, it was fairly easy for me to think of him as "a child with T1", rather than as "a diabetic child". And, I STILL have to catch myself sometimes on the verge of labeling him, because that's what our culture does. And, at the same time, I have to acknowledge that MOST people are not coming from the same background that I am. They don't have experience relating to people who don't "fit in the box", and so they are sort of at a loss as to how to appropriately discuss the issue. Yeah, they've chosen to remain ignorant, in large part because it has not touched them as individuals, and, as such, they have had no exposure outside of what our lovely media has fed them. Bleck! But, it's kind of like talking to someone who's beloved has just died...we REALLY want to say something comforting, but just don't have a clue what to say that won't make it worse. So, we end up either not saying anything at all, or saying something REALLY stupid, despite our desire to help.
We, as a community of individuals with T1 and parents of individuals with T1, have a unique opportunity to open the minds and hearts of those who do not yet understand. If we don't do it, no one else will. Each unpleasant, frustrating, heart-breaking interaction with an uninformed individual can be an opportunity to teach and enlighten, one person at a time. Mostly people really do "mean" well, they're just not entirely certain how to "do" well, and we can help them with that. I could have easily taken offense from the waiter who assumed my son couldn't eat dessert (as cool as he was), but I chose to quietly and pleasanty correct his assumption. So, now there's one more waiter out there who understands a little more about diabetes, and he'll probably be that much more sensitive the next time he comes across someone with diabetes, whether T1 or T2. As a homeschooler, we're always on the look-out for those "teachable moments", and not just with our kids :)
I TOTALLY understand and appreciate the need to vent and get our frustrations out, and that is the total miracle of this community. It is completely safe to put it all out there, knowing that we will never be judged for our frustrations. If I hadn't been able to vent and spew and scream and beat on my chest with a few well-chosen comrades over the past two months, I don't know if I'd been able to keep my head on straight and help my son. And, after the venting is over, I have to ask myself "what am I going to do about this?". The next time I come across ignorance, am I going to turn my back, or am I going to slap on my "Ghandi Face" and open up one mind?
Okay, "teachable moment" over. Please excuse my passionate rant (soooo happy to be able to do so here). I realize I'm probably old enough to be most your's moms (that's a Southern expression), and possibly even grandma to some of the young 'uns. And, as such, I'm kind of lingering on the fringes of the community. But, what are we going to do about this ingorance thing?
My heart and soul is with each one of you.
Mo
You know what I want,maybe cards made by JDRF,with Type1 info.Then when the next one starts I can say-Oh,let me share this info with you-I would buy them and stuff them in my purse,car,etc,Some people will not listen to me-they would lisren to JDRF
I don't mean to be mean but I hate my grandmother for some of the stuff she says. We will go out to eat and they will ask me what I want to drink and I say diet coke. She will sit there and say to the waiter/waitress and I quote "She can't have regular drinks she has to have diet. She is diabetic. You know the kind where she has to take insulin." I just sit there while she embarrases the crap out of me. Then the waitress/waiter will look at me with some kind of sympathetic look. I don't know which one it's for my grandmother or the diabetes.
[quote user="meme"]
You know what I want,maybe cards made by JDRF,with Type1 info.Then when the next one starts I can say-Oh,let me share this info with you-I would buy them and stuff them in my purse,car,etc,Some people will not listen to me-they would lisren to JDRF
[/quote]I'd buy a "deck" of T1 cards to give out!!!! Where do we get 'em?!?
Mo
brittany-
i know how you feel.
but just think she means it for the best, because she cares for you and doesnt want your sugar going sky high when you take a little sip of a reg. soda.
people think that diabetecs want the attention and sympathy ha i got news for them.. WE DONT! ha at all.
I have received this comment sOOOO many times! "Oh, but you are not fat? Don't you have to be fat to have diabetes!?" If only people knew how dumb they sound...
Amen! I get that all the time too.
okay how many have you agree that the "fat" comment is the most common comment of all?
I thought of this one last night and wanted to post it on here because seriously, when someone says this to me, there is always an awkward silence that follows...."do you have the bad diabetes?" (meaning T1)
I had a Medical Assistant say to my 4 year old, "You are so pretty, how did you get diabetes?" My baby just smiled "I don't know...", It made me feel very uncomfortable. I have heard people make comments like, These days kids eat too much fast food and junk because you have babies taking insulin, that didn't happen years ago. It's hard trying to explain to people that there is a difference. I think a lot of people assume that, "Oh her baby got diabetes because of a poor diet and no nutrition".......I know people who feed their kids candy all the time and I never have been one of those parents, Even before diabetes.
However, Two years ago I was one of those ignorant people. I would never make a hurtful comment to anyone, but I jst didnt know about diabetes. My grandmother and aunt are type 2 diabetics, my grandfather was (before he passed away), and my mother was recently dxd. Even though type 2 runs in my family, I had no idea that children could get diabetes. I didnt know the difference between type 1 and type 2, I had never even heard of a child having diabetes. So unless someone is purposely hurtful, I try not to take it to heart.....people just dont understand!
Every time someone says something ignorant, I give them a 10 minute science lesson... Also a good response is: "You are confused. Type 1 is an autoimmune disease, Type 2 is a metabolic disease, they are not even the same disease. The similarity is only in the end result which is high blood sugar."
Kate,This would be a goal of mine one day.I get hurt feeling,I go home and cry. Then I get so mad at myself that I let the other person get the best of me.I was so proud of myself 2 weeks ago.This same person,a very good person,for the 3RD time had to tell me about someone she knew who was going to get d and go blind if they did not lose weight,and on and on...and this person started walking and ..,, So I tried,I asked did this person have type1 or2. Don't know was the answer.I went through the whole spill and explained the difference.I was so happy with mysef.A week goes by,another hurtful thing said!! I will share exactly how I feel,YA know those very large cymbles,where the guy holds the heavy stick with the large ball at the end.Then he swings with all his might and hits the thing.That loud sound goes all through my body.That is how hard hit I feel.
Ah, grandparents, they are ok if they understand the disease. My parents actually bought grandma a video "What is Diabetes" based on type 1 diabetes. After we showed her the video she never said another hurtful thing!
Hey stilledlife, where do I get that video? Could you provide the manufacturer or distributer? I need many of my family members to see a video like that!
I think that is a perfect resonse! All the information, in a short, to-the-point answer! I will definitely be using it! I'm just not sure how many people will understand the defference between "auto-immune and metabolic", but it's worth a try. I'm cynical, but I'm trying not to lose faith:)