Tell me I'm normal?

hey everyone.

I am 22 and have had diabetes for 16 years now. I recently have progressed to having complications with my eyes. I went through a really big burn out stage when I was 15 and have just been struggling ever since. It’s been a roller coaster of good levels and bad ones but reality has recently hit me big time with the thought of loosing my sight. I’d love to hear from anyone else who has faced complications especially at a young age and how they keep motivated to push on. I keep thinking that I am failing as a diabetic because I struggle so much even after all these years.

@mpfitzner, Hi Meg, I am not really sure what normal is but I am sure you can be one if you want.

I was older than you when I got diagnosed with diabetes, but I also went through a long time of depression and avoidance and denial, because the idea of having an incurable disease was too much for me.

A lot of things changed over the years, and now I don’t take care of myself because I am scared, or because I want to live forever… I just do the best I can do every day because it’s the right thing to do.

so I have had 2 laser treatments on my left eye, because over the years that one saw a little less blood circulation, and over the years that one grew a couple puffy “aneurysms”. the laser is uncomfortable, not painful. what they do is scar up the back of your eve to prevent new blood vessel growth, the thinking is that any new blood vessel growth is risky, because those new vessels can leak. The thing they are trying to prevent is bleeding at the back of your eye (at the retina and near the optic nerve).

that feeling of failing is just that. it’s a feeling. feelings aren’t fact. for me, negative self thoughts were hurting me. By feeling bad about myself, it justified my behaviors and gave me an “out” continue in those behaviors. I urge you to talk to someone about these feelings and consider your self-esteem. if you start by saying you take the best care of yourself that you can and you are doing your best today, in every possible way - the actions will follow.

life is a funny thing, you can be in the best of health and get hit by a cement truck. you can have serious health concerns and go on for a very long time. I can tell you that for me, my life is nothing like what I thought it was going to be when I was 20 something.

the fact that you are reaching out is a the very best sign of all. it means your head is changing from where you used to be, it means you recognize you are on a roller coaster. I am no genius, and so if I can change my thinking it means anybody can. good luck. please check in and tell us how you are doing.

Hey Meg,

I have had the EXACT same issues with my eyes and feeling burned out around my early teens (I’m 26 and was diagnosed when I was 4). I think what has helped me to try to get back on track is really just looking for tools to track everything. My older brother was actually diagnosed a few years back and he told me about this app called MySugr. You can track your insulin intake and all of your numbers. It has been really helpful just to be able to look at my numbers.

It’s totally normal to have ups and downs in terms of feeling like you’re not doing what you are supposed to do. I know for me just knowing that I was starting to develop issues was the wake up call I needed. It’s a blessing in disguise and you can definitely get back to where you need to be!

Thank you both so much for your responses.

I’ve found it hard to address my concerns because a lot of people surrounding me don’t understand the extent of it. It’s nice (and I perhaps shouldn’t say nice, because it’s bittersweet thing and wouldn’t wish anyone to be able to relate to it) to hear from people who understand exactly what I mean.

And thanks for the tip about the app! I’m going to look into it :slight_smile:

Thank you both and all the best with your own diabetes.