Split Custody and Covid challenges with Type 1 child

Hi all,

I am a divorced parent and our daughter has type 1. My situation is that I have a fiance with two kids and we live together. My ex-wife has remarried but there are no other children. When Covid began to escalate in March we jointly decided to have our daughter stay with my Ex-wife as there were less people in that household and therefor less chance of transmission. Six months on and I have not hugged my child or spent any real time with her other than socially distanced get togethers in parks etc. This is really starting to take an emotional toll on me as pre-covid I spent 3-4 days a week with her. My fiance and I are fortunate enough to have a vacation home. I have approached my ex-wife about just me and my daughter spending 2-4 weeks their by ourselves in the vacation home to mitigate the risk of transmission however my ex-wife is not in favor of it.

I am wondering if there are any other parents out there in a similar situation and how they are dealing with split custody, or if anyone has any advice on how I can safely spend quality time with my child?

Thank you.

@Flight2020 Hi Chris, and welcome to the TypeOneNation Forum!

I’m not in the divorced category, and I haven’t had to deal with the split-custody situation for myself. but I can offer you some information that you could share with your former wife.

  • I think you and your former made a wise joint decision for what has worked for six-months. I haven’t been able to hug my daughter either - although she does deliver us our groceries every week.
  • A child, or most people with relatively well managed TypeOne diabetes [not necessarily so for other verities of diabetes] not more susceptible to COVID 19 than others in the same population. “relatively well managed” is an HbA1c less than 7.0 % and without lots of extreme highs & low.
  • You should effectively quarantine yourself for two-weeks before the planned holiday.
  • Be prepared to tell your wife what you and your daughter will be doing while away especially mitigation of personal contact with others.
  • How segregated is the vacation home; when it was last occupied and by whom.

I can not pose objection to you and your daughter getting away together - especially if BOTH of you can be effectively self-quarantined the entire time. Plan on packing DOUBLE diabetes supplies - essentials like insulin and syringes/pens in two separate carry-bags.

Thank you for your counsel and insight Dennis.

The only thing I can suggest would be to set up a conference call between you, her mom, and her endo. Spell out your plans and the steps you plan to take to keep safe, and invite other suggestions - including ones from the doctor - so your ex can be as satisfied as possible about the safety measures. Having doctor’s participation and input may help ease mom’s mind.