I've been involved with online communities before--one of them for 13 years and still going. But I've never had THIS happen before. I am so sad that Alyssa has left (temporarily? permanantly?) Juvenation. She was such an inspiration to me because she was the same age as my son, but has been a diabetic 8 times as long, and is smart, warm, funny, insightful. She was a bright spot in my day. I feel weird and silly. Completely idiotic. I need someone just as smart, warm, funny, and insightful to take her place. Anyone fit the bill? Anyone ever experienced something like this before? It almost makes me feel like a creepy stalker (although she initiated our friendship and I'm a completely boring librarian mom of two boys sane boring person).
When and why did this happen? Sad as well. She was a very well spoken and intellectual young lady. Hope she comes back.
Hi! My name is Kelsey(as you can see). Alyssa was one of my closest friends here. Her and me are a lot alike. I am only 13, though, so it isn't the same. You can always talk to me but also, he friend Kat was really close. They were like sisters so.. yea :D
[quote user="Pat"]
When and why did this happen? Sad as well. She was a very well spoken and intellectual young lady. Hope she comes back.
[/quote]http://juvenation.org/members/Alyssa/default.aspx
Her long good-bye
[quote user="Kelsey"]
Hi! My name is Kelsey(as you can see). Alyssa was one of my closest friends here. Her and me are a lot alike. I am only 13, though, so it isn't the same. You can always talk to me but also, he friend Kat was really close. They were like sisters so.. yea :D
[/quote]Aren't you sweet!
[quote user="Angie13"]
[quote user="Pat"]
When and why did this happen? Sad as well. She was a very well spoken and intellectual young lady. Hope she comes back.
[/quote]
http://juvenation.org/members/Alyssa/default.aspx
Her long good-bye
[/quote]
can you c&p? you can't see her profile unless you were a friend cuz shes 15
[quote user="Angie13"]
[quote user="Kelsey"]
Hi! My name is Kelsey(as you can see). Alyssa was one of my closest friends here. Her and me are a lot alike. I am only 13, though, so it isn't the same. You can always talk to me but also, he friend Kat was really close. They were like sisters so.. yea :D
[/quote]
Aren't you sweet!
[/quote]
Thank you! You seem really nice too. Kind of like my own mom...
[quote user="Batts"]can you c&p? you can't see her profile unless you were a friend cuz shes 15[/quote]
I only feel comfortable doing this because she addressed it to "Juvenation":
Dear Juvenation,
I've never been good at goodbyes. Actually I've just never been good at holding myself together while I wrote them. I haven't cried in months - and yet here I am at the keyboard sobbing. At almost the one-year anniversary of JDRF's greatest project it's time I bow out. I'm aware how poor my timing is. But even so this has still been one of the greatest almost-years since diabetes.
I know how ridiculous it is to cry over logging off. But Juvenation has never been just a web site to me - it's always been so much more to that. I've met so many incredible people on here that mean the world to me. I've never felt so comfortable than I do with this amazing group of people. I've never had the nerve to try to fit in before...Juvenation just sort of worked. I still don't even know why, but it did. And I've never felt as blessed as I do now to have found and met all of you.
It's my friends that I will miss the most. These friends were a lot of firsts for me, and I'm sure you all know who you are. First time someone asked me if I was okay; first friend that looked up to me as a big sister and IBFFL, and then one who felt like a sister to me, too; first friend to tell me I am worth it. And then it was the first time I ever let anyone read my poetry, for people to tell me my writing was worthwhile. Oh, and the first vegan apple pie recipe I've received J I'm going to miss every single one of you, which is the hardest part for me of logging off. I've finally had people to help support me for the last year, and now it's time for me to stand on my own again. I'll miss everything about you all - yes, even the sarcastic comments of a certain member who "adopted" me at one point. You guys taught me to speak up. 3,517 posts. I'm wishing well whoever passes me first J J J
Right now it's time for me to grow up, and to get things back in line for me. Of course I'd rather do that with the Juvenation window still open; but right now what I figure is death is forever, logging off is not. I'm in need of my own attention right now.
"Given the choice between the experience of pain and nothing, I would choose pain." But right now I make a third choice, to fix that pain and experience happiness, and that's just what I plan to do. Don't forget me :P And remember, "we are one," one day we'll have our cure, and I believe we will not die diabetics.
The hardest part will be clicking those two little words, 'log out,' and know I won't be back the next time I get my A1c results back or its been a rough day. Now's the time strength matters most. Until then, I'll leave you with my latest poem. Because it's vital to remember we are not alone in this.
Ever friends,
Alyssa
Absence of Presence
I am alone,
swallowed
by the blackness of condemnation.
Shadows seep,
one unto the other -
bind felicity behind gloom
beyond my reach
and consume these faltering shades
of broken light.
I strain for proof of company
yet the sole sound remains
the steps of my own two feet.
Left paralleled by silence
I venture,
burdened with the chore to persevere.
Inability a state of strength,
I am alone.
I am alone,
bruised, forlorn, and shattered,
I cripple beneath the pain of every breath.
Soaked -
wasting in my own blood.
Each wound dug unwittingly by my hand.
Every trip, every tear -
a fault of ever standing twice.
Fallen prey to darkness
and comforted by numbness
I walk blinded to all hope.
Supported by such weary knees,
skinned and caked
in fresh drops of red
streaked across smears of dry blood.
Balance left to chance,
I am alone.
Trapped within this darkened cavity,
buried beneath skeletons of failure,
I know not if
I am alone.
Alas -
Distanced and muffled
yet steady and nearer -
the soft echo of footsteps
alongside my own.
Ring against the boundaries
of this vacuous life
and answer,
Am I alone?
A gentle breath,
tainted with the sweet scent of hope,
caress and linger on my frozen flesh.
Tell me,
Am I alone?
I focus in the darkness
upon the outline of a lighter black.
Gaze forth
should these eyes ever see,
Am I alone?
The brush of skin against my own
and the warmth
of a hand in mine.
I recall touch and company
and grasp a shard
of this strengthening shade of light.
Illuminate these shadows
and forever reveal to me,
I am not alone.
--from Alyssa's page
Alyssa will surely be missed, she was a huge part of the success of this website for the past year. By the sound of her good-bye and the poem she wrote, I think she made the right choice by getting help and taking a break from juvenation. When Alyssa is ready to come back we will all be here welcoming her with open arms.
I hope that she will get the help she needs. We will miss you Alyssa. If you ever need me I am here for you gcapone1(at)optonline(dot)net
xoxoxo
Gina
I'm so sad to see her go.
I hope she gets well. Best wishes to her and for her future.
Just like everybody else...this is such a sad thing to read. I was wondering where she had been all day. :( Hopefully she will come back soon!!!
Yeah that is too bad. I'll miss her. Over the summer her and I became friends on here. She truly is smart and cool person.
But really, sounds like it's for the best. I did used to wonder, does she do anything else besides post on here? She did it at great volume and all hours of the day and night. Cool if that's what she wants to do. But there is more to life than diabetes and a computer. I hope she finds what she's looking for and if she ever wants to come back, I'll welcome her back with open virtual/digital arms.
i feel you! Alyssa has changed my life soooooo much! i have been really blessed to have her in my life! She helped me leave my old diabetic way behind and do the good. I have cried the past two days non stop. I have tlked to her almost every single day for like 3 months since i joined juvenation. I LOVE ALYSSA! She is my bestfriend and i will never forget her! Nobody will ever fill the spot she had in my life! She was awsome. We had so much in common... it was like we were sisters!
We will come closer together because of this. We have to. We are one.
Hey, everyone. I'm just as sad as you that Alyssa is leaving. But I talked to her through email and she told me that she will be back eventually. She promised. She wanted me to let you all know, so you don't think she's gone for good.
She just needs to work some things in her life out, get some things under control and get back on track. So, while I know we'll all miss her for the time that she's gone, just keep in mind that she'll be back! (=
[quote user="Sarah"]
Hey, everyone. I'm just as sad as you that Alyssa is leaving. But I talked to her through email and she told me that she will be back eventually. She promised. She wanted me to let you all know, so you don't think she's gone for good.
She just needs to work some things in her life out, get some things under control and get back on track. So, while I know we'll all miss her for the time that she's gone, just keep in mind that she'll be back! (=
[/quote]
Yes! She was an amazing girl but when she cums back, we'll all be happy! So until then, we wait. We should turn this not into a funeral for her leaving but a celebration for her being there :D
And Angie, Alyssa said that she emailed you. (=
sad day. we'll be waiting for her. :o)
This is so sad but I'm sure Alyssa will be successful with whatever she is accomplishing outside of Juvenation. I can't wait until she comes back, though! She is an amazing person.
[quote user="Katie"]
This is so sad but I'm sure Alyssa will be successful with whatever she is accomplishing outside of Juvenation. I can't wait until she comes back, though! She is an amazing person.
[/quote]
She is and soooooooooo are you, Katie!