I hate being low

Please bring me swift death, because I am low int he middle of the night and I am exhausted.  All I want to do is sleep, but of course I can't even do that without diabetes getting in the way. Litterally two drinks tonight out at the bar and I am down for the count. It's taking a millenia to come back up to normal.  Speaking of normal, when am I, a 23 year old, ever going to get to participate in a normal life without worrying about my two drinks throwing me in to a hypoglycemic spiral a few hours later? or stop scaring my boyfriend's dog everytime I have to take a shot? or take off two weeks from work because the flu nearly killed me with 400 + levels?  Is it just me or do I recall my own pediatric endocrinologist -who had diabetes himself!- promise me that there would be a cure by the time i was 13...? Um, it's ten years later, assholes. Could you get on it? I am SO sick of having diabetes, i think 20 years is far long enough. I think 20 minutes is far long enough.

Sorry for the rant, I tend to get rediculously emotional when i'm low.

Hey Mandie -

No need to apologize!! You are amazing for having handled such a bitch of a condition for 20 years. I am the mother of a diabetic 12 year old. I haven't had to deal with the post-alcohol lows yet, but the sleep disruption is horrible; I can only imagine the toll it takes on you physically and emotionally. I have 2 questions; forgive me if you have already looked at these possibilities. Does it help if you have juice(s)/extra sugar before bed to counteract a delayed low? Also, are you interested in using an insulin pump? If you can get  insurance to pay for most of it, or if you are in a state/province that covers it, it's worth looking into. There are ways to adjust your insulin rates that could help compensate for the alcohol; you can lower the amount of insulin you get during the night after drinking to control your BGs better. And you wouldn't scare your boyfriend's dog! Obviously, drinking as little as possible is ideal; all I can say to that is, I understand your desire to drink just like everyone else, but the question you have to ask yourself is, it really worth it? Dont' let anyone tell you you have to drink to have a great time and let loose with friends! As a diabetic, you know better than anyone how to listen to your body; please take good care of yourself. Life - even with all that being a diabetic means - is a gift, and the good far outweighs the bad. Hang in there -

Mariam

Mariam, can I just say... Thank you. It's birthday time for me and I have forgotten almost completely about my online community of Type 1s and Type 3s, and birthday time reminds me of where I come from. Juvenation gave me a life again, it made me come to terms with my diabetes. I remember what that night felt like, because I've had so many of those moments and looking back I am so happy to have written it down. And I am so happy to have a response that I never looked at and got to read almost exactly one year later that felt like my momma giving me a hug and reminding me that life is a beautiful thing. The reason most of the time that I have issues with my highs and lows is because I gave up for quite a while on taking care, real care, of this disease. I know I am a person first and a diabetic second, but I have had diabetes in slot 20 on my list of priorities until as recently as a year ago. I still have my moments, but like another mother of a T1D said to me the other day, everyone has that moment of acceptance. I remember that post, and feeling like I was in a boxing ring with my own disease that I just wanted to knock out for good. Thank you for being in my corner, and whispering an encouraging word before I went back in for the kill. Keep it up mama, I do believe it's just as hard for you Type 3s, as it is for us.

You are so welcome, Mandie!! And keep fighting the Good Fight - there is a whole world out there for you to explore, and a wonderful life to be lived... go for it!

Hi!  I'm Mariam's daughter and I am diabetic. 

I know how you feel and The lows in the middle of the night are just plain fricken brutal. I also hate having my parents wake me up in the middle of the night to test me because I'm high.  I think that a way to deal with this is, yes to rant, and find a stress reliever.  Personally I love stress balls, but get a spa treatment or have a day to yourself whenever you feel like crap.  You can do that too because your older than I am, and don't need permission.  I know how hard it is to stand there while people say this will help, but you just want to cream at them that they don't know how it feels.  I hope I can help and I'm so glad that my mom helped you, she said you made her day with your response.  Just remember, we'll make it.

As for being low, have you tried having a juice before you go to bed? (Of course you have, but I'm just throwing it out there.)

:)

Hey Mandie, I feel you, diabetes fucking sucks. I don't think a cure is anywhere close, although JDRF is claiming the artificial pancreas will be here within the next 4 years or so (which, is most likely BS). Hopefully when it does eventually make it's way out, it does significantly improve our lives. I hate having to worry about so much more than everyone else. It sucks seeing all of my healthy friends living lives without having to care about nephropathy, going low when we go for a run, finishing eating 5 hrs before sleep so their BG doesn't drop, their vision starting to deteriorate at an early age, and the list goes on and on. I just feel so damned disadvantaged compared to everyone else. I don't care what anyone says, diabetes does hold me back, at least to some extent