Thanks to everyone for your advice and encouragement. It has helped a lot and made me feel very supported by a great community. Thank you for being supportive and helping me to see that I am doing things right (as much as anyone with diabetes can!!) and that I need to care for my highs and lows but not punish myself for them. Again thank you all!!
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Mental health professionals are just like doctors; there are good ones & there are bad ones. More appropriately, there are ones one feels comfortable with and others that only put that same person on guard or make them feel uneasy.
I had T1D over 45 years before I learned that diabetics are commonly depressed about all they have to live with pertaining to their health. After interviewing several psychologists, and a couple psychiatrists, one of each is now available to me. The shrink is seen once a year to make sure I still do not want lots of mind altering drugs, while the psychologist is chatted with every 2 to 4 weeks about life in general. Having good insurance coverage is a reason these services are part of my life.
At your age there was far less knowledge about how to keep a T1D in good health. Trial and error are training tools. Experience is an excellent teacher and I, for one, am far from the normal doctors keep reading about in books and journals. Watching for trends and learning how your body responds to various remedies can save loads of headaches later. Will 3 gm, 5 gm, or 10 gm of simple sugar to fix hypoglycemia? Was it caused by over bolusing, over exercising, or simply eating too late are just a few possible variables we each must take into consideration before making educated guesses.
Congratulations for moving onto a potentially better medical professional. There are thousands of them out there. We all need to find those who are exactly right for each of us.
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Danielle, I’ll second what everyone said. I am the parent of three T1’s and my family learned early on that we know more about T1 than most physicians. A good endo is a good find. They are out there, so keep looking until you find one that knows what they’re talking about.
I’ll add this: your A1C is AMAZING for someone 18yo. A recent study, here: https://www.liebertpub.com/doi/10.1089/dia.2018.0384 found that fewer than 17% of T1s in your age group have an A1C of less than 7.5. You are doing incredibly well. Keep up the good work!
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@pennm Thanks, that is incredibly reassuring!! I know some people who I went to high school with whose blood sugars were always high, even with a pump and cgm, and despite the fact that they always seemed to eat right. I suppose it could be worse for me than I think. Thanks for the article
Hi Danielle and I see some very good advice. Also, as a young adult you are managing terrifically, and your numbers are really great, particularly when young adults tend to have even higher A1C levels, and also you are managing your T1D without a CGM. One recommendation I do have is if possible get a CGM. I use the Libre and it helped me reduce my A1C from 8.2 to 6.0 and it also provides you with SIGNIFICANT freedom for knowing where your BG is at. One additional piece that you mentioned was punishing your self for every high and low, and I am sure for all of us that have had diabetes for a long while it is simply part of the disease and it is literally what we manage on a day to day, hour to hour basis. Please don’t beat yourself up over any highs or lows as it is what happens to us daily given our T1D. But also please make sure you learn from them and be better prepared to improve your management. One other suggestion is to get the book “Brightspots and Landmines” by Adam Brown. I am sure you will find it to be a good and interesting read. Keep up the great work and I am sure you will find a new endo that works for you!
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First this disease is NOT your fault. You can make things better and in my opinion you should start with a new doctor. A1C also, is waning in importance. It is an average of all your glucose readings for 3 months. Mine was 4.3 when I first saw my endo. She immediately said that is way too low. She knew that to have an A1C that low meant I was having a large amount of time being way too low.
Time in range is the standard that is most helpful now and most endos will say this if they are good. In order to really know what your time in range is, it is best to have a CGM (Continuous Glucose Monitor.) I would highly recommend since you are so young, that you try for this and an insulin pump if your insurance covers it.
You are very lucky to be so young. If you pay attention to the right things, your life can be almost as normal as a non-diabetic. We all have to pay attention to things that regular people do not, but that is what we all were handed. We just need to move forward.
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Bad Doctor is exactly right. Nearly 50 years with diabetes I can tell you that there are always ups & downs with blood sugars. No apparent reason just stuff happens. Do not ever let anyone especially a healthcare provider treat you in any way other than supportive and encouraging.
Stay strong 
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Hey… Hello … people are asses sometimes… she was an ass…stubbed her toe. her kids were screaming she didn’t have clean underwear on whatever… what happened there was wrong and not your fault. Do not give someone who does not deserve space in. your brain space. I know you are vulnerable…but stand up your A1C was something 90% of diabetics wish they had… her anger was unfounded… and no you can not control diabetes alll 100% of the time… LIFE happens… yes life. and that’s why were here to LIVE… so. be kind to yourself… and don’t give power to those that do not deserve it. I would like to know this endocrinolotgists name please… please lmk. Thanks so much. giving you a big hug… and let it go…evetytime that voice in your head starts talking say I am in control, I got this, I know what im doing and yes a bad sugar level will happen…it just will … do you know that even normal peoples sugar levels go out of range … yep. fact… esp when sick. here if you need to talk… im T1D level 31. with no complications and had diabetes when all these gadgets were not available… except for a big clunky glucose meter. I CAN assure you even though I had great control my sugars were off … you just couldn’t monitor it like they do now and I often wonder if that’s a good thing for mental health… and how to stop stressing is to stop the thought pattern right off the get go. you have attached an unhealthy response to something that you will have to deal with being diabetic… sugar levels rise and fall just like everything in life… even the sun. you are in great control. acknowledge that! and let the curmudgeon who doesn’t feel in control in her own life deal with her own issues… don’t make them yours
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Bless your heart- I’d say you’re doing great and whatever you can do to move past this emotional part… therapist is great. I pray you find peace.
Congrats on stepping into adulthood! Personally I recommend drawing on faith and knowing there are things you ARE responsible for and things you are not. Anything you are not needs to be surrendered to God and pray for His peace with thanksgiving that you have great tools, meds, and a good number! He can heal all of this emotional part. Blessings.
Honestly Danielle, it sounds like you don’t need any tips on how to cope. You absolutely made the correct decision in finding yourself a new endo. Way to go. If you want to get rid of some of your pent up anxiety try writing your last endo a letter. Make it very matter of fact - not bitchy. But, I think it would make you feel better. The life of a diabetic can be very stressful and filled with anxiety. Get used to it because it is not going away any time soon. All of us have had to learn how to manage our diabetes and the anxiety that comes with it. It is apparent to me that you have what it takes to survive. You go girl and let us all know how things are working out for you.
Good move getting a new Dr. Don’t expect perfection and don’t accept anyone else’ demand for perfection. Be easy on yourself.
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Danielle, I join the chorus of those who congratulate you for firing your endo! I wish I had the same results you have had, when I was your age. Diabetes management is ever changing.
Current wisdom finds lows more damaging than highs.
Several years ago I attended diabetes education forum at my endo clinic. I was one of ten type ones. We heard speakers on a variety of topics. The best part, was getting input from other type ones. Check with your endo to see if this is available for you. Keep up your great progress!
@bunsickp Thanks for the advice. I am still really unsure about the CGM. I know a lot of people love them, but I know just as many people hate them. I have been thinking about it more but am still trying to decide.
Hi Danielle, I use a closed loop system (the Tandem pump with the Dexcom G6) and it really helps. I had good control before, but I have fewer bad highs and fewer really low lows now. And your doctor should realize that there can be reasons your blood sugar goes way up or way down, and which you have no control over. My sugars would skyrocket under stress. 6 months before my middle child was married, my blood sugars went up and up. I increased my insulin week by week. And on the day of the wedding, my blood sugar plummeted, as all the stress evaporated. This was not my fault. In those days, I was on my own for dosing, as I was living in the UK and only saw the diabetes doctor once a year there.
I also find I need more insulin on cold days and less on warm days. Again, I have no control over this. This has gone for decades. Again, I have no control over it. My current doctor only cares about my HbA1C and whether I have frequent low sugars. In 50 years of diabetes I have only passed out twice from low sugar levels, so I figure I have done the best that I could. The first time was when I was pregnant with my second child. (Blood sugars go down in the first trimester and rise precipitously in the second and third trimesters.) Thank goodness for my CGM, which warns me when I am going low or high, so I can prevent it before it happens.
That sounds like an awful visit and I’m so sorry your doctor stressed you out like that. It sounds to me like you’re doing a great job (your A1c’s better than mine’s ever been). And it sounds like switching doctors was the right call. I struggled with leaving pediatrics and finding a new endo, too. I’m not crazy about the endo I wound up with and have thought about switching a few times. I’ve sort of learned to take her directives as suggestions and mostly rely on my own experiments and my diabetes educator for management advice.
Personally, I don’t mind if my A1c’s not perfect. I want to feel safe while I’m at work and get a decent night’s sleep. The A1c is a great metric for tracking success in diabetes management, but it’s only one metric among many and isn’t enough on its own. The amount of time that you’re spending above or below target is also really important, as is how you feel day-to-day. Remember the A1c is only an average. You could, theoretically, have an absolutely stellar A1c but be bouncing back and forth between highs and lows all the time and feel absolutely miserable because of it.
I really think you did the right thing switching doctors. I’ll keep my fingers crossed that the new one is a better fit for you. I also think finding a behavioral health specialist is a good call. I recently started seeing one, too. I don’t really have any other advice for you besides: know that you’re not alone and keep using this forum.
Hi Danielle,
Let me jump on the band wagon and sounds like you’re doing a fantastic job. I know what you mean about the CGM. I had the Dexcom G5 for about a year and never really trusted it and used to get alot of times with no reading or wrong reading so I still finger stuck quite often. I then got the Dexcom G6 and found it much better less errors and readings more accurate and like the no calibration even though you have to calibrate sometimes. I know T1D can be stressful but I think if you have a high or low correct it learn and move on don’t dwell on it .
Good Luck
Glenn
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Hi Danielle. I would definitely say the best way to see if it is right for you is to give it a try. I use the Freestyle Libre so I am biased but it is also the least expensive option available so I would definitely working with your team to get a 30 day trial going to see how it does for you. Hopefully you will find it a big benefit for managing on a day to day basis and also for maintaining the good number you already have. Best of luck and I am sure you will also find the right Endo and team for you!
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Awe, sweetie, that sucks. I’m so sorry for your experience. I will say, I went through the exact same thing. It was when I moved from paediatric to adult as well. I went to a couple of crappy doctors and then decided to stop going all together. That, I do not recommend. Please know, you are not alone in this. You will find a doctor that is right for you. One that will listen to you and let you tell them how your body works, how you feel, what your concerns are. Often doctors think we are all the same and they want to tell us how our bodies work and it is much more complex then that and all of us with diabetes are different. We know our bodies best. Be proud of your A1c, be proud that you are keeping track of your blood sugars and are being cognizant of what you eat and being sure to get exercise. There are so many things that affect our BG, it is a constant battle as long as we are doing our best. I’m 44 now and got diagnosed when I was 5. It’s never easy. I could do the exact same thing everyday and still wouldn’t have the same results. Just don’t give up, continue to look after your health in the best way possible and you’ll be just fine. You need a doctor who can recognize that and give you props for it, one that understands how difficult it is to live with this day in and day out. Not one that leaves you feeling the way this doctor did. Not to mention that these feelings of anxiety will also affect your BG. Take a deep breath, give yourself a pat on the back and move past this experience. Communicate these concerns to your next endo and for that matter, go online and leave a review about this previous doctor. Hang in there! You’re amazing!
@Suz777 Thanks for your comment. I appreciate your advice a lot. I am hopeful for this new doctor, although I have not seen her yet, this practice came highly recommended and I will see how it goes. Thanks for your advice about finding a doctor who asks me how I feel about my sugar and see how I feel from day to day.
Hello to everyone who commented. Thanks for all of your support through this. I have started seeing a therapist now and I have been noticing that I have been able to let go of some of the negative feelings. Although it was only one visit, she gave me some techniques about letting go a little. (Not ignoring, but letting go what is out of my control sometimes, focus on what is in my control and let go of way I cant ) I am thankful for the support of this community and for all of the advice. It has helped me feel better simply being part of a group (although I am sure no one wants to be in this club) I am thankful for everyone in it. I will let you know how my visit goes with the new doctor. Thanks all!!
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