I can’t handle anything right now. I am all depressed about life, diabetes is just so frustrating, and I’ve been thinking suicide sometimes. I thinking ending my life would end this suffer. I wish I never had diabetes… If I was sent to the doctors or the hospital while I was very sick maybe I wouldn’t have developed this Disease.
we all wish we didn’t have this. we are all having a tough time, if you really think about it, no person’s life is perfect, ever, even if they don’t have diabetes.
the deal is this, you got sick because your body ate it’s own “insulin producing cells” there is nothing you could have done that would change that outcome, so now all there is left to do is figure out a way to keep living. I can’t tell you what your life will become, all I know is that if you live long enough, your life will eventually surprise you in a way you could never expect or even dream of.
sorry you are feeling down, but we all feel down about t1. i guess it stops some of us, I guess the rest carry on. so, what do you want to do?
I’m sorry you’re feeling so depressed. Most of us have felt that way at some point. I know you feel that if it had been caught earlier that you wouldn’t have developed Type 1, but like Joe says, this is an autoimmune disease, meaning the body gets confused and sees a part of the body as an invader that needs to be attacked. There is literally nothing you could have done to prevent it - in fact, the latest research indicates that the predisposition for it is set by the time we are between 15-24 months old! We have been T1’s since we were just babies even if we were diagnosed much later.
So now what? Everyone has burdens as I’m sure you know, and this is ours. What do you want the rest of your life to look like? I try to remember and be grateful for the things that are going right. I’ve had T1 for 31 years and it is very, very frustrating at times. But most of the time, I feel pretty good. I don’t have any issues with my eyesight or mobility yet (knock on wood), but I have brothers with massive back and joint problems who have had surgeries and are in pain every day. So although I have this sucky disease, at least I can manage it by eating right, getting some moderate exercise, and watching my stress levels. I’m physically able to do most things people like to do, and I take full advantage of that. I love to travel, eat good food (but I watch my carbs), dance, spend time outdoors, all things that really enhance my quality of life, no matter how much time I will have in this life. Quality, not quantity, right?
Some days my diabetes management goes well, other days (like today), I am all over the place with no rhyme or reason. So we do the best we can. Try not to think of checking your BG as “testing” it. Who likes to take a test that you might fail repeatedly? Nobody, right? It’s monitoring, an opportunity to use that number to correct your BG if needed. It’s just a number. If you’re low, eat something sweet. If you’re high, take some insulin. Keep an eye on trends to see what your BG is doing. If you see patterns, such as if you’re often high before lunch, your endo or diabetes educator can help you make adjustments to your insulin regimen. If there is no pattern, then just chalk it up to an off day and move on. Are you on a pump? It was a godsend for me. I would encourage you to see a licensed counselor as well to help you work through some of these natural feelings of frustration and depression, especially since you are in a true state of despair, and we want to make sure you are still with us.
I hope this helps, and please remember you’re not alone. We are here whenever you need support from people who know what you’re experiencing.
Hi,
You are not alone with your feelings nor with your frustration with this horrid disease. Believe me, I’ve had similar feelings many, many times during my 58 + years with diabetes and often ask the “why me” question. Even after all these years I haven’t fully accepted my fate. but I have tried to lead a full, productive life just in spite. Yes, I live life the way I want it to be and have found that U can do much more than many of my peers. Actually, I’ve outlived more than a fifth of my high school class - and as Angie and Joe have said here, there isn’t anything you nor anyone else could have done you prevent you from winning this prize.
I said “prize” because when living with diabetes you will be more aware of what your body is doing and you will also be seeing doctors regularly who will spot any other conditions before they progress. In retrospect, I wish that I had taken better care of myself earlier and maybe I could have avoided complications. I was so “bad” and frustrated with diabetes, the only doctor I saw between age18 and 25 was the Army doctor who wouldn’t let them ship me to Vietnam. Then, after I married at age 25 I went to a doctor who right off told me that I have retinopathy and that I’d be totally blind within a couple of years - that woke me up. And that leads to another story that I won’t get into here.
Set you sight on who you want to be, what you want in life and go for it bring you diabetes along with you - your well managed diabetes. As was said above, there are a few guidelines: if you are feeling a low blood sugar, get something to eat and if your BG is high [great now that we can easily and accurately get a BG reading] take a correction dose pf insulin = from 5 PM yesterday until 8 AM today I needed 6 small corrections and looking back, I had eaten properly, counted carbs accurately and had my usual activity. Yeah, just an unexplained “frustration” - but today has been great!
Vent your frustrations here - we will listen.
Hey whoa._.zey,
I’m sorry you are feeling so bad right now. The people who have already responded have put it very well. Yeah, D sucks.
One thing I think of sometimes when I’m down about D is that I’m alive! If I had been born 100 years before I was, I’d have died at 19. All of the great stuff I’ve been able to do since 19 including 2 great kids and many cool drumming gigs.
I would also say that try not to get too hyped on what a lot of doctors say that if you do everything right your BS will always be good and you will be able to “control” it. The inverse of course is that if you have bad BS it’s because you did something wrong. BS (not Blood Sugar). There are other factors besides food/insulin/exercise that play a part.
If you really are serious about suicide, please reach out. Tell a loved one, call a suicide prevention hotline, or talk to your doctor about it please. Please.
You have to come to grips with it. You have to accept the fact that YOU are a Diabetic. We are all handed things in this life that we don’t want. I have been “in the Pit” as you are. This totally sucks and there’s nothing we can do about it. I always wish i could have just one week a year that I don’t have to watch EVERYTHING! I wish I had one week a year where I didn’t hear…“You’re grumpy, go check yourself” or “You shouldn’t be eating that you’re a diabetic” I KNOW…I LIVE WITH THIS 24/7. My Dear whoa._.zey, This is it, this is what we have. So you gotta stand at the plate and face it or sit in the dugout and feel bad. You’re tough…You’re a diabetic! You’re “ONE OF US”
Baby girl! This is not a disease that you should consider suicide over!!! Please, please, please, if you are truly feeling as if you are about to take your life, PLEASE contact the suicide hotline in your area!
I was diagnosed at 10 months old. That is 49 years ago - and I can’t tell you what a roller coaster ride it’s been! But I’m here. I’m still here, despite the odds being against me. When I was in my teens, the prognosis was I’d not make it to 40. HA! I showed them! If anything else, it is a challenge, a constant vigilance. And I know I shouldn’t offer this up as advice, but once you get through the early years, with the fits and starts, with the trials and misses, you’ll find where you can ‘cheat’ a bit, where you can fudge the numbers. Are you sad because you have to think about what goes in your face? I think Joe said it best, you should be GLAD you have to pay attention to what you eat. Think of the gross obesity is rampant in our society. Think of the poisonous chemicals and additives hidden in our food. With your vigilance, you can avoid the silent killers like hypertension & heart disease. With your attention to detail, you can skip the brain tumors and cancers from eating food laced with pesticides. Your skin will be clearer and healthier than your friends eating french fries and double caramel macchiatos. Are you sad because you need to exercise? Think of the osteoporosis you won’t have to suffer. Keep in mind you will be the woman who isn’t shuffling across the parking lot getting to the senior center. Is that too far off for you to consider? Think of the respect and admiration of your friends for being healthy and vibrant despite having diabetes. Yep, admiration. The best thing I heard as a teen was from my best friend telling me how honored she was to know me and watch me take care of myself. I laugh, thinking back on that, because at 15, I was probably in the worst control of my diabetes in my life. But because of her, I aspired to do better. I’m not professing to be a saint. I smoke, I enjoy adult beverages, I eat a square of Dove chocolate a day. But I’ve learned moderation. I’ve lived the consequences of high blood sugar, and of low blood sugar. But I don’t let it be an obstacle. Yes, it is a challenge. Daily. Hourly. Pain in the f*$@ing ass. But it’s also my badge of courage. And I wear it proudly.
Reach out to me if you would like to talk with me more. I look forward to sharing the lessons I learned.
I wish you peace =)
Nancy
Hi. I know just how you feel. I am there myself right now. I was diagnosed in 2002 when I was 16. A few years ago I was diagnosed with osteoporosis, pancreatic insufficiency, Crohns disease, neuropathy, & diabetic retinopathy. I also swell up horrifically when my numbers run normal. I was ok for the first two years of my disease, then they switched me from pork insulin to human. I developed MRSA that year, & things have gone downhill since. I managed to get my degree in equine science hoping to become an equine veterinarian, but my health has gotten too poor to pursue lifelong dream. I can’t even work workhorses for fear of breaking bones. I am trying to Ord e r porcine insulin from the UK, but am having trouble getting my doctor to help me. Just wanted tort you know you are not alone. My thought are with you & I hope for the best. Amanda