Like everyone here I have run myself in circles trying to conclude the "right" answer to this subject.
I was diagnosed in '93, the day before my 18th birthday. I was blown away. I got used to the injections, but still never fully accepted my diagnosis. I have troubles with it even to this day... 2 years went by and my new family Dr. wanted me re-admitted to hospital for more education, and to regulate the BG readings I'd basically been ignoring. While in the hospital this time, my new Endocrinologist warned me of two things... "Quit smoking, and do NOT get pregnant." She told me that I needed to have my blood sugars regulated well BEFORE deciding to become pregnant, and that I should come to her first with my decision, rather than show up at her office saying "Ooops! I'm pregnant!" She told me that unplanned, there were to many risks for my own health, and of course the health of the baby. The thing that stood out the most from that conversation was that my child could be born with a hole in it's heart!!! This horrified me, but being young, in denial (I knew I was diabetic etc etc, but still wasn't fully coming to terms with everything it meant, afterall, I had been a regular, healthy human being until 18) AND in love, I showed up at her office 6 or so months later saying "Ooops, I'm pregnant!" I remember actually being afraid to go see her, to tell her that not only had I crossed one of her warnings, but I also hadn't quit smoking! Her response shocked me, she wasn't mad, but she helped me understand everything I needed to be aware of and helped me to create my BG goals. The two of us worked very hard as a team for 9 LONG, but in hindsight SHORT months. My biggest relief was when she told me my baby's heart was pumping healthy, no holes!
It helped tremendously that my spouse was ok with me quitting my job at 3 months of pregnancy. I had 6 months of home time that I was able to strictly monitor my BG's around the clock. It wasn't until well into my pregnancy that I even conceived of the higher possibility of my child becoming insulin dependent one day (KNOCK ON WOOD, at 13, he still has NO blood glucose problems!). February 20th, 1997, after 17 hours of labor, we welcomed all 10lbs 15 oz of Trenton to the world. He was born with a BG reading of 1.7 (<---I'm canadian lol) as the nurses forgot to give me glucose gel when I went into delivery. It was 3 minutes before we heard his voice cry for the first time after he'd been born, and he wasn't oxygenating properly. They described him to have an extreme headache due to the forceps used (yes, I delivered vaginally!) and he was in a lot of pain due to the Dr. needing to break his collarbone to get him out. I'll still never understand why they didn't do a C-section. I could have cared less about delivering vaginally, I just wanted a healthy baby. I was kept in hospital for 5 days after I delivered, and fell so incredibly in love with this beautiful gift. I was released, but Trent had to stay in NICCU for several more days, as it took him this long to be oxygenating properly, The happiest day of our lives was the day we went to the hospital with his carrier in hands. We knew we were finally going to bring our baby home.
What concerns me more is that since at age 8 our son was diagnosed ADHD, if he ever were to become diabetic, it would be super hard for him to manage his disease. What also concerns me is the fact that he's been exposed to so many of my low blood sugars, and the emotional impact that must have on a child, especiallly one who's struggled so much. This past weekend, his father was at work, and I had a sleeping low at about 7am. I was sort of concious of myself crawling across the dining room floor, unable to express anything, and Trent awoke to the god awful moans that I could get out. When I saw him I did manage to say "JUICE!" which he gratefully ran to the kitchen to get. Of course the vomit followed shortly after. He helped me onto my bed and brought me another drinking box. I told him as best I could that I wanted to stay there until I felt able to walk. Later that day, I told him if anyone, teachers included, gave him a hard time at school on Monday, simply ask them if they saved their mother's life this weekend. He shrugged it off, with that "whatever" look that teens sometimes have. I told him that I needed him to understand just how much I appreciated his help, and that it truly was life saving. I told him he is my hero. However, I never in a million years would have wanted to have a child who felt like his mom could slip away from him at any given time. He's no newbie to death, lost his 39 year old uncle to esophageal cancer in November 2004. His live in grandfather to a massive heart attack in Jan. 2005. His grandmother to alcohol abuse in Feb. 2005. And then his 34 year old uncle to suicide in 2006. This was my parents, and both my brothers. So I know this certainly has to be a scary existence in many ways for him. I can only hope he's learned about our strengths as a family, and can see that as an individual, he has those strengths too.
All in all, life with diabetes sucks. But I wouldn't trade my decision to follow through on my pregnancy for the world! If he had have been or becomes insulin dependent, then it's just another bit of life we deal with when it comes. A lot of kids are much better handling their diabetes than I am. Kids are resilient. I'd say instead of fearing it, use that energy to become the best role model/teacher, should the time come. I'm a big believer that God gives us no more than we're equipped to handle, and the same goes for our kids. Best wishes to all.