I consider my entire life a success. Every day. I found a lot of the language you used to talk to T1 adults very loaded.
“seasoned”
“success”
Like there is a judge somewhere who every T1 stands in front of.
I grew up in a very unhealthy household, so my “success” is that I had to come to terms with this. I have some advice for you.
Listen to your kid. Don’t treat the doctors as if they are little gods. If you wouldn’t let your next door neighbor do what the doctor is doing, then don’t permit it. If you’re angry, handle it. Research the emotional impact of highs and lows on academic performance and emotions. Don’t use your kid’s T1 for attention. Go on Facebook, and look for examples of attention-seeking parents. Look up narcissistic personality disorder.
Loving, kind, open, honest, supportive, connected families Crete resilient kids. The skill set that did help me was knowing that the horrible things that happened could be addressed with research and persistence, and that any event could be addressed with problem solving.
So problem solving exercises will help probably more than anything.
And by the way, deal with any anger. Telling people who aren’t “successes” in their “20s” as t1s that their experiences with their parents aren’t welcome is a horrible thing to say.
I was diagnosed at age 5. I’m in my 30s. After I graduated college, I always worked at big companies with great health coverage. It wasn’t something I thought about as a kid but knew I needed once I was an adult. My parents were always supportive involving me in the JDRF and events so I didn’t feel alone and letting my school friends come over anytime so they could watch me while I had normal fun. Advancements made it easier and should continue to. There will be tough times but a great doctor and loving support can really help.
You’re getting a lot of good advice, especially the suggestion to exercise, test, and be normal. I was diagnosed at 14 and have been diabetic for 50 years. Insurance is tremendously important, but your child has a long way to go before that becomes critical. Who knows what changes will occur in the next 10-20 years? I injected for 48 years before finally getting a pump, and that has been a very positive change. The one thing I would recommend is to stay up-to-date on your son’s eye health. I had the good fortune to be referred to retina specialist while in my 20s and I have continued those check-ups every 4-6 months (my insurance is great) and my background diabetic retinopathy has remained just that- in the background. I’ve had a few treatments over the years, but my vision is still pretty good and I don’t have to wear corrective lenses.
Jennifer,
your son is not a statistic, not just a datum, but rather he is a real live person, a personality with a lot of living to do, a FUL life to lead. Let us look positively at his future of what he can and WILL do.
Encourage him, certainly guide him and offer advice [keep yourself as informed as possible about T1D] but don’t nag him beyond what is commonplace for any child his age.
I was diagnosed in 1957 - a “present” on my 16th birthday; I was #4 of my parents 8 offspring and there wasn’t much difference in how I was treated from any of my brothers and sisters yet somehow I survived. sure, when I got downstairs for breakfast my mother would have my glass syringe and stainless steel needle boiling for sterilization and occasionally inject insulin into one of my arms to help relieve my sore thighs from the pain of constant use. Yes, I ate whatever everyone else ate, whatever was served, nothing special.
Now back to your son - does he have siblings? Most of all love him and never handle him like delicate glass filigree; let him run around, climb trees, play sports, be competitive. Expect his BG readings to be inconsistent and not always hitting the perfect number recommended by his doctor - my target number is 113 and my latest HB A1c was 6.3. If you notice his BG reading is 395, don’t flip out and blame him for doing something wrong - it could be something as simple as forgetting a meal bolus - my pump alarms when I go too late without blousing. Rather than “flipping out”, calmly help him decide if, then calculate a correction when necessary. Of course, if his BG reading is 45 [like mine was 3 hours ago], you should step in and hand him an appropriate carbohydrate and do NOT let him ignore you.
Some of your concerns; definitely continue contributing to his college fund he will need proper education. and with training and education he will be employed before you know it and with employment comes health insurance that can not carry restrictions any longer, thanks to the ADA, about treatment for diabetes. Group life insurance is often available too at minimal cost - he should buy as much [within reason] of this as he can afford and then convert to a individual policy upon separation - I have plenty of life insurance.
The T1D community is supportive; I’m open to helping you find answers to your questions and very willing to find information you need. I belong to a blog group with about 230 members known as the Joslin Medalists, all of whom I can pose diabetes questions; plenty of experience as to be a member of the group one must be certified as LIVING with T1D for at least 50 years.
I was diagnosed at age 2 and my parents divorced at age 6. The best thing that my parents did in helping me have success with my diabetes was that my mom and dad treated me and my diabetes differently. I lived with my mom, but saw my dad very frequently (several times a week). My dad let me do my own injections, and even let me practice on him, when I was 10. My mom wouldn’t let me until I was 12. My dad was much more in the mindset of, “I need to help Brianna learn how to be comfortable and confident caring for herself.” My mom was, “My daughter is sick and I need to take care of her.” When I was a teen, my mom would ask me, several times a day, how my sugars were, but not in a helpful way…in a nagging way. That made me not want to tell her anything about my diabetes. When I got my first insulin pump at age 18, because I was on my dad’s insurance, I talked to him about the purchase, but announced to my mom that I was going on a pump. She was upset that I didn’t talk to her about it, but it wasn’t her insurance that would be paying for anything and I was the one that would be living with the pump.
One thing to note is that while I was “successful” through my teens and 20’s, I definitely wasn’t in control. I made it through with horrible control, but to date have no diabetes complications. Remember that you are a support person for you son. At times, you will need to be the leader and decision-maker, but as soon as you can begin to have him be involved in his care and treatment decisions.