My daughter (Caela) oldest was diagnosed at 5yrs old and is now 14 (her dad has Type 1 and was diagnosed at 13yrs. old). Caela has multiple diagnoses outside of diabetes (Celiac, POTS, and Hashimotto's), so she juggles much responsibility and emotional stress. She is taking a few days off from school to wear the CGM, so we can get some fasting data and make changes to her pump settings. Her A1C is steadily going up, mainly because we are both burnt out, and Caela has felt like giving up on it all. We are taking the next 5 days with a "boot camp" approach to regaining "control" (as much as possible) and sharpening up on skills related to carb counting and pump feature education.
We saw the diabetic nurse educator this week, and she recommended that Caela wear the CGM all the time. This idea is not going over well w/ Caela, and for now she has only agreed to wear it for the next 5 days, in order to gather data. I wondered how many teens out there are wearing the CGM regularly, and if so, was it a struggle?
I truly want to respect my daughters wishes, and allow her to make the ultimate decisions. However, it is a fine line at this age between parental support w/ decisions (diabetic and otherwise), and giving her room to make decisions. Right now, I feel like until my daughter is able to regain ownership and responsibility, it is my job as her mom to intercede w/ her diabetic care. That said, I would not enforce wearing the CGM if it causes her more psychological stress.
Just feel like I am floundering with moving forward, and a bit paralyzed by my daughters denial and feel the burn out, as well.
Thanks for listening to random thoughts and worries....
I don't have a teen yet, but I am sorry about your current frustrations. A couple of things I try even now with my kids is letting them decide between 2 choices I can live with. So maybe in this case, she either wears the CGM or agrees to test at least 10 times a day. (Maybe every 2 hours while awake and 3 hours at night?) I know it isn't an either or choice, but she might decide it is easier to wear the CGM than do extra tests. If she chose tests, then you can make the requirement that if she doesn't fill her end on testing, then she goes back to the CGM. (Even as I write this, I don't know if this would really help someone who was going thru burn-out.) Or work with her to pick a schedule for wearing the CGM, like 5 days on, 5 off. Or whatever.
For you, I think you are doing the right thing. She will have plenty of years to make choices she doesn't have to run by you and can choose things that you don't like or agree with. But while she's under your house, you DO have the responsiblity to keep her safe and healthy to the best of your ability. She doesn't have to like it.
I'd also look into finding a counselor who specializes in diabetes care and have your daughter and you go, together or separately. It is HARD. I hope your 5 day boot camp helped. But remember, you are her mom, not a pancreas and she is your daughter, not a pancreas. You can both try really hard and the numbers will NOT always be perfect. But hopefully, you will get the information and boost you need to keep working on managing it.
Thank you for your support and insights, it reminds me that we are not flying alone on this journey. The "boot camp" went well, the most important discovery was that her pump settings weren't as off as I anticipated. The hard part was realizing that the BS numbers have been so high because she wasn't truthful with her management. I had stepped back to give her more freedom, and less nagging, but it worked against her. I am hopeful that our counselor will be objective and solution based so we can continue to stay on track. Still overwhelmed, but at least hopeful and determined. Thanks for your encouragement!