I'm 18 years old and I'll be leaving for college for the first time in 7 weeks. I am an independent person- I am very organized, manage my time well, know how to take care of myself, act responsibly, etc. The only thing I can't do is press the buttons on my Quickserter to insert my infusion set.
I've been on the pump for more than 3 years. That's over 370 insertions. And for probably 365 of them, my mom has done them. I can do everything else, and she pushes the buttons for me. I've done it a few times, but when I try to do so, I panic. I don't feel faint/lightheaded/nauseous, but I get very stressed out. My heart starts beating very fast, and I start sweating a lot. When I get my hand all ready to push the buttons, I freeze and I just can't do it.
I know I'm thinking about it too much, and I just have to do it. I am really struggling though. I've tried the whole pep talk idea, but that doesn't work. I don't really even know why I am so afraid, I just hate the idea of a needle going into me.
Now, I'm all ready to go to college. But my mom can't come with me and push the buttons for me. I'll be 7 hours away from home. The Health Services people are there on weekdays, but most likely not weekends, or if so then a few hours on Saturday. I don't want to have to truck all my stuff over there and change my set there. Furthermore, what if I get a bad site during the night?
I need to get over this fear. It's very frustrating. And I've only got 7 weeks. I want to be independent!!! So badly!
Please, please, please, do any of you have any suggestions? What can I do? Should I try and get some mental help, like from a psychologist or hypnotist? Or is there another way out?
Thank you in advance for any advice.