Hi , my name is Jackie and I could really use some support right now. Here is a little background, I was mis diagnosed with type 2 when I was 24. As my honeymoon phase dwindled, my doctor realized I was a type 1. This revelation occurred a couple months before my wedding. I went to a new, highly recommend endo who put me on insulin right away (lantus and novolog on a sliding scale, I still don't know how to count carbs!!) I previously was on meteformin and byetta and my sugars were not that out of control. To make a long story short, I gained almost 20 pounds in the two weeks since I started insulin. This sent me into a total panic. I was already working harder than usual to look fabulous for my wedding day so this was a huge setback! not to mention that I purchased a very expensive gown that I was not going be able to fit into! I informed my endo and he started me on symlin and sent me to a nutritionist. I started at 1100 calorie diet and was doing cardio for a minimum of an hour every day! Still no results. Here is the part that I am embarrassed to admit....in a desperate plea to get rid of the extra weight, I stopped taking my lantus and novolog! I used the maximum amount of symlin every time I ate and stopped testing! (wow I have never told anyone this) I very rarely had any lows and I am scared to think how high my sugars reached! Yes, I did lose the weight but was still very angry about my diabetes since I was at my break even weight rather than the 10 pounds less I hoped to be at my wedding. I know it must seem like I am very vain and/or have an eating disorder. Truthfully, I have a pretty good body image and have always been very confident. I have never taken extreme actions to lose weight in the past. I think the timing of the new diagnosis and insulin treatment brought out all my anger about being diabetic. When I was first diagnosed, I was a model diabetic, did everything I was supposed to and MORE.
The wedding has passed and it was everything I dreamed of. However, I just can't seem to get my diabetes under control. My sugars are constantly VERY high, but I am so scared to take insulin and gain weight! I know that my health is suffering, but I can't seem to get out of my own way!
I really want to get my diabetes back on track and hope to start a family. We have met with our high risk doctor and she informed us how important super tight sugar control is for at least three months before we even try. Being a mother is the most important thing in the world to me, yet even that can't get me to get my diabetes in check! Help! has anyone else felt this way? any advice? thanks for letting me share!
Hi Jackie, I had what they now call "diabulemia" for a very long time.... I am finally what I call a "born again diabetic" and have been doing much much better. I had a baby girl 3 months ago and during that time my blood sugars were just about as good as can be expected, so it is possible to make this work and it is best to do it sooner rather than later. If you want to see how I managed to get things under control, I started a blog for when i decided to make the change: thisismysos.blogspot.com, called "Facing New Life as a Born Again Diabetic". Start from the first post, since now most of it is about my precious girl!! Good luck, and please feel free to let me know if you need any support. I've been there and it is so hard, but so worth it!!
I've been a type 1 since I've been 18 - and I am now almost 66! So, for 47 years now. I became a nurse when I was 21. I successfully had a baby when I was 28 (one month early by C-section). Of course, that was in 1973, with no monitor, the "old" insulins, just urine testing and exercise, and being very very careful with my diet. No carb counting in the vocabulary then! So, you see, it can be done. HOWEVER, your best chances for success, for you and the baby, are for you to test often and take your insulins, do that carb counting (it's really easy, just put your mind to it), regular exercise, and stay in close touch with your doctor. The carb counting will help you to stabilize your weight. In my experience, insulin won't put on the weight, excess calories in the excess carbs, will!
I am still very disciplined - use Levemir and Humalog, count carbs, test about 8-9 times a day (necessary because the numbers still are variable). Your efforts will pay off, Jackie! THIS IS YOUR LIFE, be proactive, do what you need to do, and your rewards will come with a feeling of well-being (well, most of the time!), and maybe even a new little one for you and your guy!
Diabulimia is a beast, and it's tough to beat. I'm so sorry that you had those problems with your insulin. But these other ladies are right- you need uber-tight control if you're pregnant or trying to get pregnant. Hopefully they get your insulin levels right so that you odn't have to deal with those horrendous weight ups and downs. Also, being pretty strict with the carb counting really helps. Good luck and congrats in advance!
Before I got married I had been diabulimic for years. I was diagnosed with diabetes in November 2000 and when I started on insulin I never went through any honeymoon phase. I was a full fledged type 1 right at diagnosis. I was 115 pounds at diagnosis and wore a size 00 pants. After a couple of months of insulin I gained some weight, about 10 pounds in a year. I looked and felt much better. Like you I was an ideal patient. But, year after year another 10 pounds and another 10 pounds and here I am almost 10 years later and I am now overweight when I was once underweight.
In 2005, I was having a really bad depression phase and completely stopped taking insulin except for what ran in my pump. The only reason I even changed the thing was because my mom watched me like a hawk. I lost about 15 pounds and I loved it. But, I was still depressed. My depression and self destruction led me into wanting to actually end my life. I just didn't care anymore. A lot had to do with weight and obsessive behavior of not being able to control what was going on with my life. For me knowing i am eating and doing the same things every day and never getting the same result was driving me completely insane. That is a whole other post.
I hit a breaking point in may 05 and confessed what I was doing to my entire family and a couple of close friends. I told them everything. My doctor even wanted to admit me into a pysch ward but my mother convinced him she would take care of me and get me back on track. That was 5 yrs ago and till this day it is a huge struggle for me not to go back to my old ways.There is not a day I don't think about skipping a bolus and not checking.
The only reason I don't is because I want to have a baby and I want to live longer and to grow old with my husband. My old habits were going to kill me. Since my diagnosis back in 2000 I have gained about 65 pounds. I eat right, count carbs, keep active and still I have all this weight on me. I feel and look much better than I did at 115 pounds and I don't look overweight because I am proportioned well but, mentally inside I am going completely insane. I feel uncomfortable and ugly and wish that I could fit in my size 0 pants.
I have been trying to get my a1c into baby range which is 6.5 but, I will deal with a 7. I am in my second year of trying to get my a1c down and will probably be trying soon. 6.5 seems completely impossible to me at this point. I feel like no matter what I do it is never enough and get so discouraged all of the time. a couple of months ago my a1c was 7.3 and I was really scared to try so I chickened out. But this month if I am at the same range I think I am going to just go for it and see what happens.
So, if you are wondering if this happens to anyone else, Yes it does. If you want to know anything else let me know I would be more than happy to talk to you about it.
Gina (and Jackie. And everyone else reading this thread, I guess.)-
I complelty get what you guys are talking about. I just found out that I officially weigh twice as much as I did three years ago before the diagnosis. (I was 60 pounds, now I'm 120.) I know I'm not overweight for my height, and that this weight gain is suppossed to happen (yay, puberty!), but it still kinda bugs me...I'm no longer the skinniest girl in the room, and I think that's going to take some time to adjust to. (The only good news is, I have boobs now!)
That made me laugh (no offense). I remember being a teenager and being really excited when I had to wear a bra because I NEEDED one, not because everyone else was wearing them and I wanted one too. :o)