So tomorrow will be 2 months with being diagnosed and I'm beginning to get reallyyyy tired of this disease. I hate having to second guess eating something (like candy) before i eat it, I hate getting weird looks from people at restaurants when I pull out my needle, and I hate the hassle of just keeping up with everything.
Any advice on staying positive about everything? Because I hate the feeling I when I look at all of my "normal" friends and they don't really know what I'm going through. It's so unfair and I'm really sick of diabetes.
is IS unfair and in my estimation you'd be asking us to make you crazy if you wanted us to help you find the joy in the disease. It is a sometimes exhausting 24x7 math test with real penalties when we get it wrong. I have found i'm glad my friends don't "get it" because the only way that they can is to share this illness and i'm not wishing it on anyone.
So much for a pep talk, eh? - The good news? Well -from what you describe and what you show, i'll say it seems to be the following:
You're a bright kid who is responsible and actively educating yourself in a number of areas - it means if you want to do it- you're able to :)
You've found a community of us who are sitting in the same boat (some of us have been here long enough we've got our own name plate at the buffet)
As hard as it is - you're doing it - and you're managing and reaching out when you need to and finding resources - this is HUGE
You're ½ step away from realizing that - BEFORE you were diagnosed, if you'd seen someone pull a syringe out in a restaurant, you'd have thought "I hope they're okay" - or "I wonder..." - and that it is only after you get this giant burden that you start thinking that everyone's looking at you thinking "DRUGGIE!" - (please disregard if you're one of the 17-22 year olds wearing the "I only shoot up when I'm high" t-shirts)
Getting sick of this disease is a healthy response - as long as you aren't damaging yourself in the process - and if you're going to get down about it - one of the most helpful suggestions I heard was pick an amount of time 12 hours - 2 days - whatever - where you're going to just be down - but then pick a time where you're going to pick up and have a specific plan (test x times per day, eat z - whatever self care means to you) where you can pick up and start taking good care of yourself again.
Don't expect you need to be positive about everything. Part of your pancreas died - who shows up to a funeral and says "So - what's the upside?"- We mourn, we adjust - we move forward - often leaning on each other as we go.
I'd kick you out of the club if I could, but as I cannot - I can say I'm here - with a lot of brighter minds and a fairly bent sense of humor (but straight needles) to do what we can to make this rocky path a little smoother - or pretend it's some sort of gimped roller-coaster...
Good luck - and stick around - I am quite certain you're going to keep finding things that work for you and your sharing those helps all of us (you included, believe it or not).
You're doing better than you think - you aren't being graded on your numbers and you're doing fine.
I like what the moto maniac said, we all have our up and down days, and I am obviously not talking about lows and highs. It is a natural part of us being people with emotions and such to have these doubts, hates, and such. The thing is that you know what you are doing and are doing it pretty well, which is something each of us needs to do.
Hang in there, know that you do have a community of supporters out there when you have your down days. And to quote one of my favorite movies, "What is normal?" The very fact that we have people trying to define themselves as normal proves that they are not normal. We are all unique individuals, some of us have type one diabetes, some of us have allergies to peanuts and such, some of us are tall, some are short. No one is normal no one can fit the definition. We need to embrace our differences not hide from them.
we all go through the times where we are exhausted from being different and annoyed at doing the needle thing and the food watch. but...the more time that goes by the easier it gets. and knowing that there are people here to help is amazing. When i was first diagnosed i had no idea of juventaion and i went through a horrible depression time where i though the worl was miserable because of my illness. but i pushed through and now knowing that i have everyone here to help is an amazing feeling :D so feel free to vent here because we are all here to help each other. and i know that ive had so much help here so far.
I felt the same way, I just got diagnosed October 2010 at age 27. It happened at a significant turning point in my life, my husband and I were thinking about having children and WHACK! I got slapped with a T1 diagnosis.
I guess I stayed positive by just trying to accept the fact that we can't change what has happened to us. I haven't fully accepted it either and I definately still have meltdowns about it, but it JUST IS. "Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdon to know the difference."
The other thing that has helped me is that it could be WAY WORSE. There was someone I knew that lost their 1 year old child to an autoimmuine disease and seeing all the pain and agony that they went through makes T1 a picnic. Think of others in your life that are going through such harder times than we are.
Just HANG IN THERE. Try and stay positive (easier said than done, I know), but think of how worse it could be and BE GLAD that you found out your diagnosis when you did--if you would have let it go it could have done damage to your body.
People probably aren't looking at you funny when you test or stick. I used to care and used to be so secretive and do everything in the bathroom. Now I just do it. I do watch for kids a I don't want to freak them out but you gotta do what you gotta do.
I've been a diabetic for over 28 years. Sticking yourself becomes habit but I wouldn't say it gets easier. It got easier when the needles weren't an inch long and quite visibly thick and I didn't have to pee on sticks any more to test my glucose. Maintenance has come a long way.
Non-diabetics don't understand unless they have reference, another family member or friend. If they want to be educated, educate them. Ignorance to the disease drives me nuts when people just spout off. I once had a person tell me they didn't have diabetes a bad as me because they were Type II. Well, he only tested his BS once a day so IMHO he has it worse and he's ignorant to his lack of control.
Be educated and stay educated. The more you learn, the better control you can gain. Ask questions of your support team and us. Don't assume everything the doctor says or changes he/she makes is going to be exact and right for you. You are your own advocate. Speak up.
Over time, us diabetics in control will be the healthy ones as we will be eating with moderation and health in mind. Keep your chin up.
I am sorry you are having such a hard time with being newly diagnosed. Everyone is right with having ups and downs. ME INCLUDED. I was diagnosed when i was 21 so about 4 years I've had it and i promise you, not knowing ANYONE in my life, other than online who have T1, can easily make you want to stop poking yourself, stop taking blood sugars. I did it. Its hard, and even today I hate having people watch me. It is hard to figure out what you should and shouldn't allow yourself, and time helps that. But after initially when I was diagnosed, my A1c WAS 12.1 and i kicked it in high gear right away and got it to 5.4. Then after about a year, i realized there is no way I can keep this up, the schedule changes, stress, classes, LIFE. We all struggle that it can easily be worse, however in no way is this fun. We get through those days and the one thing that keeps ME going, is thinking about my family and husband who need me. If i wasn't here, or if i didn't take care of myself not only would there be a void in their lives but there would be no clean dishes!!! I will tell you, that I have kept my sanity by never having foods i can't have. I just make sure i try them, or eat a small amount. You can do it. We are here for you. I wish i could too tell those people to stop staring at me, they still do, 4 years later. I just think about them falling on their face in the crowded restaurant and how silly they'd feel.. it helps sometimes..:)
Im sorry to hear you are haveing such a hard time. Ive only hade type one going on a year now and i still have times like that. It does get a little easier with time and you friends though they will never fully understand what you are dealing with they will understand a little with time and you just have explain it to them as they ask questions.
The hardest part is the first 2 months while you're readjusting EVERYTHING in your life cuz of this disease. And hitting this point where you're sick and tired of it is another part of the "process." I totally hate being around my non-diabetic friends sometimes! But mostly just on my bad days cuz when my sugar is off I am grumpy!
My advice is to not worry about being positive all the time. It's ok to get angry and frustrated and you don't have to add guilt for having those feelings to the pile. T1 is unfair and frustrating and a burden. And it's good that you're getting that out. And you will have much better days in the future, I promise. You'll still have bad days but you will have many, many good days too. Stay positive cuz you can handle this. And when the bad days come roll with them cuz they pass.
It's tuff..You're always going to get those looks, because face it..People can be rude! lol...More often then not though, Ive learned they are just curious and trying to see what you are doing. Have you considered going on an insulin pump? With the pump, its easier to get yourself insulin without people knowing what exactly your doing. People just always assume I have a beeper of something! Also, I noticed you live in Arlington, and I'm in Plano so your not to far from me! I'm 22 years old, and been diabetic for 16 years now. If you have any questions of ever just want to talk or vent, send me a message! Sometimes having others who know what your going through helps alot!!
Thanks everyone for your advice! It's been a really stressful week with so many tests and my blood sugar has been on a rollercoaster. I guess it's just frustrating because I had been doing so well then all of a sudden my BS jumps up to over 200 for no reason. The week is almost over, thank goodness!!
Hi Katie, I have been having the same problem this week with my BS going higher than usual. It is very frustrating and you said the exact words that I was thinking "the week is almost over, thank goodness". Even though I don't always have control over what our blood sugar does I still always feel responsible that I did something wrong. My stomach drops everytime I see a really high number, I hate it. I just have to realize that it isn't always my fault that it goes that way. It is just hard to do sometimes. Hopefully next week will be better for you. :D
I know that I myself don't have Type 1 diabetes so I have no idea what it feels like, or what you have to go through on a daily basis. All I really can see is what my sister Katelyn (who posted before me) has to do. I know that what I see is a very small part of what T1Ds go through. I hope that I might be able to give you a unique perspective though. Know that you are completely normal. What makes you who you are has nothing to do with the fact that you have T1D. You can do anything you want to do, you may just need to do it a little differently. As far as people giving funny looks, yeah so many people in the world are uneducated. They are always afraid of what they don't understand and sometimes have a negative reaction.
To look at the positive side of how your life has changed, you will find out so much more about how to take care of yourself. Someone may shoot me for saying this but in my opinion, you will probably live a healthier life than if you had not been diagnosed. Life is funny that way sometimes, terrible things happen to people but what they gain out of it can be a really positive thing. You will meet lots of new people you may have never met otherwise. I hope I didn't offend you or anyone else with my comments I really mean no harm.
I just wanted you to know that diabetes in no way separates you from everyone else. We are all humans. We all have difficulties and challenges. Just because people can see that you deal with your difficulties with blood tests and injections doesn't give them the right to see you as not normal. You aren't "Someone who has diabetes" or "A person with a disease". You are Katie. Always remember that. I don't see you or anyone else here on Juvenation as different. You are all people with great personalities, humour, and all those other great unique things.
For no reason? You mean you have had no stress, no lack of sleep, no changes in schedule, no anxiety, no differences in foods/timing/schedule and you haven't been fighting any bugs, exposed to allergens or have any other reason your metabolism may be getting bumped, hit or changed? - okay - i'm being a little annoying but really - stressful weeks ARE A REASON :) Glad you're coming up on a chance to catch a breather and focus on self care a little more - hang in there and we're rooting for ya'!
Katie, I can relate so well to this. I'm having such anxiety lately over my numbers and feeling really down about being high and low. I had an Endo apt. yesterday and sort of let it all out..."I'm sick of being diabetic, I don't want to do this anymore." Nobody really understands what it is like no matter how much you tell them unless they have it themselves. I can just offer something my doctor offered me yesterday, "You are not a number. Don't let the numbers define you." While keeping track of the numbers is important you are so much more! You may have T1 but don't let it define your life, there is more to you than a label. God Bless. ~Laura
It all fades in time and what you will realize is that what is most important is just taking good care of yourself because that is what is going to make you feel better physically, emotionally and mentally. Think of it as just something else you must do, like brushing your teeth. Who cares what the people at the next table think. The people that care about you will be happy to see you taking care of yourself. No doubt it is a hassle but it becomes less so if you make it a routine. Hang in there. By the way, what is normal?
just reading that made me smile inside. ive had type 1 for 9 years now, since i was 9 and i still wish it was gone. it sucks but you gotta push through and this site and blogs with people that 100% understand me feels good and keeps me ispired.
You're gonna be alright, honey. We are here for you and understand your frustrations in ways your "normal" friends can't because they don't have a disease that must be managed hourly, forever. Don't let diabetes steal your sunshine. What I tell myself everyday is, it doesn't matter whether you hate it or not; you still have it. So why waste all your energy hating it? I was diagnosed last year and what others told me turned out to be true- you will find your groove and you won't feel this bad forever!
i don't like normal i like "typical" i learned this because my oldest nephew is austitic and thats what his aids always say .. other kids aren't normal their typical... and that how i think of us and other not T1's it makes me feel a little better :)