There are some great suggestions here. Sarah isn't by any means ready to be fully independent, but she's pretty close. She takes care of breakfast completely by herself (because I leave for work before she eats), I give her a sticky note with the carbs for lunch, but she does all the work. Usually we help her a little more with dinner - but we're working on getting her to do as much as possible herself because it won't be long before those teenage hormones kick in and she'll want to be more independent.
So, because she's mostly independent until dinner time, I don't have any idea what her numbers are unless I check. She always leaves her meter out on the kitchen counter in the evening after she tests for the last time, and I usually just peruse the logbook function on the meter after she goes to bed to see what her numbers were during the day. If I see something out of range (with her it's usually lunch in the 70's because she habitually forgets to eat a snack!) then we talk about it.
Her friends have been really helpful. Her best friend Kelsey is very interested and always asks Sarah if she tested and what her number was, so I agree with some of the above comments about bringing friends in. With Sarah I called Kelsey's mom before we even left the hospital after she was diagnosed and since then have done a lot of educating with their family because Sarah frequently spends the night there. Usually friends find the process facinating (because they probably don't know anyone else who is T1), so it's not at all difficult to engage them in daily care. Believe me, Sarah takes nagging much better from Kelsey than she does from me or her dad!
Is there a teen diabetes camp he can go to? I know it has made a big difference in many teens lives. All that I spoke to did not want to go...but they were all thankful they did. For many it is a turning point.
Good luck!
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This definitely seems like the right way to go! I think hearing it from his peers is REALLY important.
I think it's good that you're still asking about his numbers, asking if he shot up for dinner. I'm sure it drives him crazy (because he's trying to become an adult, probably hates his D right now because it makes him different) but it's awesome that you're there constantly radiating "I love you and this is important." It's a hard time to be a kid but I bet it's a hard time to be a parent too!
Best of luck, I'd say get his friends supporting him (or help him find some D friends) and I think that'll help him.
I was diagnosed at 14 and while I did not rebel, I sure hated the constant nagging from my Mom. The simple truth is this, the better the control, the better you feel and the more you can do. Since we know that negativity doesn't work as a motivator, why not try inspiring and educating him? There are numerous books/articles about Type 1 diabetics that have done spectacular things.
But they can't do those things if their numbers aren't in a good range.
Dare to Dream: Flying Solo With Diabetes, Douglas Carins
http://www.diabetesworldflight.com/
Kris Freeman, Olympic Cross County Skier
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kris_Freeman
Adam Morrison, Forward for the Washington Wizards NBA
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adam_Morrison
(I'm sure there are many more. It might be fun to see how many "famous" Type 1 diabetics you can find.)
I would also encourage you to find a mentoring program for him. It would be great for him to meet some older, responsible Type 1 diabetics and to get involved mentoring some younger or new to diabetes kiddos too.
This has been on my mind...my 12 year is on the heels of teenagerdom. I just read about a CDE suggesting putting it all into relative terms for your son.
Acne: High numbers dry out the skin and contribute to teenage acne.
Sports: Very high numbers will make you preform at a much lower level. Your energy just won't be there.
Friends: Peeing alot...passing out from a low. Not fun in front of friends...
Schoolwork: You can't concentrate as well when you are high.
I am 14 now and was diagnosed when i was 10. Unfortuently i do the same thing. I dont check my bs enough and dont take insulin when i should. i know that it isnt the best choice but i dont think parents understand how hard it is when you see all of your friends eating all they want and not really caring about it, but we have to even know that we dont want to. I go to a conselour who has had diabetes since 2 and is now 45. She is a HUGE help.
From what I've heard, the teen rebellion phase of T1 is very common. While I can't speak to what your son is feeling exactly, I can speak to how I felt and why i rebelled, so do with this info what you wish. I was diagnosed at 11 and at around 13 or 14 is probably when I started to not care about what I ate or testing. When I was testing frequently and watching what I ate, I still had wild swings in my blood sugars and difficulty controlling things. I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that your body is changing so much at that age and being flooded with hormones. In fact, now that I'm pregnant, it's been reminiscent of how hard it was to control my sugars in my teens. In my teens, I got to the stage where I felt that "I didn't ask for this" and that I was always being picked on by my parents and health care providers and I think that's around the time I took the "well-I-guess-I'll-stop-trying attitude." I don't know what would have helped, really, in regard to my parents' approach. Of course they wanted to me to be healthy and therefore would "nag" me when my AICs were high. I guess if I had felt that there was more encouragement, even with small victories, maybe I would have tried harder. I think a "I know you're working hard" or "I see you've been testing more and that makes me happy" would have gone a long way versus "do you want to die?" type of sentiments. I agree with whoever posted about diabetes camp. I LOVED diabetes camp and it's so great to meet others who are in the same boat as you and to see you're not battling this alone because sometimes as a T1 teen, you feel very alone. Also, the fact that he has a diabetes counselor is great. Sometimes it's easier to hear from someone who's not in your immediate family. I think in my case, what I felt was criticism from my family was met with immediate defensiveness but when it came from a third party not immediately involved, I was more open to hearing it. For what it's worth, things got a lot easier for me when I turned 18 and I made it to adulthood without complications, despite my terrible control in my teens. I think what finally turned it around was a combination of being ready to take responsibility and finally realizing that I wanted to feel well, but also, those hormones finally calm down and stop wreaking havoc on your blood sugars.
Sorry to ramble on and on. Hope this helps and good luck with your son!