Just sick of it

I was diagnosed with diabetes at the age of 4. I am now 15 so have had it for 11 years, and the majority of my life. I started following some diabetes instagram accounts which post jokes and things that I am sure all diabetics can relate to, this helps a bit, and just reminds me that I am not alone and that everyone else experiences the same diabetes related problems. I can remember before I was diagnosed my dad used to go out every morning and buy me and my two older brothers a chocolate bar each, after the day I was diagnosed he stopped doing that… About two years ago I was also diagnosed with a thyroid condition that just compels the pressure and gets me down. I know that having diabetes isn’t seen as such a problem, because we have insulin and people always say ‘at least it’s not cancer’. This doesn’t help me when they say that, it just makes me think about it more. Insulin isn’t a cure…it is just keeping us alive in this miserable life. The doctors say ‘Don’t let the diabetes control you, you control the diabetes’ and ‘You need to get your HBA1C down’ they say it as if it’s just that easy, as if with a few simple changes and alterations you can fix it, its unfixable, whatever changes you make can have drastic effects and can even put you into death situations. Its not stable, its a roller coaster, that goes up and down all day every day. They say ‘Us diabetics can do anything everyone else can do’ but we can’t, because no matter what diabetes does get in the way of our lives. And it does control my body. Not a day goes by that I don’t think about my diabetes and not a day goes by that I don’t think about this cure. This cure…that I hope will come but I don’t feel that lucky. I don’t do my own injections, I don’t use a pump, and my HBA1C isn’t very good, it has been good in the past, but now its not. and I’m 15. The doctors tell me to work on doing my own injections, and I have had psychology sessions, but honestly it is not my biggest worry. My biggest worry is getting my health in tact and finding a way to push through, because I don’t feel that lucky. And honestly I am finding it really difficult right now. I guess the only plus is that I wasn’t old enough to experience the freedom, I was 4, I didn’t understand what was happening. I was on holiday and I said to my mum ‘Mummy I don’t feel well, not like when the boys feel ill, but really unwell’. My mum had met a man before we went on holiday and he was just diagnosed with diabetes and told her his symptoms, so when I was going to the toilet alot and drinking alot she just knew it was diabetes. My mum, and dad, but mainly my mum, they’re so supportive and my mum is just amazing about all of it.

I was diagnosed at the age of 8, I am now 13. I am having a hard time remembering if I checked my blood sugar or to bolus. I get very frustrated that my A1c is 11.0 I have 4 weeks and I have to bolus for my blood sugar or else I am getting my pump taken away. The pump has made my life a lot easier, but it has also made me lazy. I am telling myself that this has to stop.

@Farmersdaughter have you considered turning the feature on with your pump that is a “missed bolus reminder”? I is an alarm that you can set for approx times you have meals and it goes off so that if you just ate or are about to eat and haven’t done your bolus you can go ahead and do it. If you have a medtronic let me know I can tell you how to get to that setting.

Also - do you wear a CGM by chance?

You can’t let them take your pump away - it has increased the quality of your life dramatically as it has mine I would imagine.

What can we or I do to help you over the next 4 weeks? Do you have a cell phone/smart phone? Can someone commit to sending you a text message a few times a day to check in or prompt you to bolus or test? What about email or FB? If I can help let me know.

All the stuff you’ve experienced is normal Ella. Just because you got diabetes when you were 4 doesn’t mean you don’t remember life without it. I got it when I was 4 too and always hated it when people told me how “lucky” I was because then I didn’t remember what it was like to eat sugar or not have diabetes. Give me a break…

I disagree that diabetes keeps you from doing what you want in life. You may have to do it differently, but you really can do whatever you want to. Shots annoying and I couldn’t get good control with them. If you have the chance to try an insulin pump you might try it and see what you think.

I’m 41 now and have a son and a great husband. I’ve gone to university and traveled and lived a good life. You’ve got a good life ahead of you too.

Just start doing your shots. It’s a bigger deal in your mind then it is in reality. You can’t take your mom with your everywhere. =) There are automatic injectors and these things called an iPort (not an Apple product) that let’s you inject into the same spot in your skin for a few days at a time. http://www.i-port.com/

Use whatever you can to make your life with diabetes easier. It is not the end of the world. You are going to have a good life. Do you have a good carbohydrate counting app like Calorie King? Make a deal with your parents that if your A1c falls 2 points then your dad has to start buying you chocolate bars every week again. Learn how much insulin you need to cover the candy bar and then work towards your goal.

Having diabetes can really suck sometimes I totally understand. But don’t let life get you down! I use myself as an example of awesomeness and you should too! Yes, we don’t get to have some of the freedom as other people but we get to totally burst out a snack in front of everyone! Anyways think of your something greater!
~Bear

OK getting your pump taken away is a little over board i have the missed bolus on because i aswell have trouble with it but wow they take away your pump?

@Classenraisessas,
That is a great attitude!!

I was diagnosed when I was five and the day before kindergarten started. I was in a study group so they found it early( my mom also has type 1), you could say I was lucky but I still don’t feel it. When they told my mom I was diabetic I cried even though i was used to getting a ton of IVs from the study, and then i blamed her. It broke her heart. I find it really frustrating to have to not eat candy when all my friends do be cause most of the food I like is bad for me. I’m also on the pump and sensor. My A1c was almost 11 but now its down to 9. The sensor doesnt hurt that much but it is like another shot. I dont know where you guys put your sites at but i was told i was doing mine wrong. So when i changed the areas I think thats what lowered my A1c and I cut back on gluten. I maybe slightly uncontrolled but i will still help anyone if they need something. Oh and heres my favorite thing. Im in school for medical assisting and we were learning how to do blood tests. the teacher flipped on me because she didnt know how to use the onetouch aad i tried to help her. and then she has the never to tell me " well I’m sure you know how to do this. You do it everyday!" -.- I guess its like that cause we are textbook learning. well as a diabetic i know how to do the tests.

I guess I have some nerve even posting anything on here since I’ve only been dealing with this disease for 2 1/2 years now. I was misdiagnosed at age 37 as Type 2(due to my age). They put on Metformin which of course didn’t do a damn thing!!! The third Endocrinologist I saw was a charm!!! He did a simple blood test which showed that by the antibodies in my blood I was indeed Tye 1. Of course I was devastated at first and went through all the stages of grief, like sadness, anger, and denial. I don’t know which is worse…going through the majority of your life eating whatever/whenever you want or never have being able (like when you’re diagnosed as a child). My job performance suffered while my Diabetes was out of control and I almost lost my job!!! Being diagnosed as an adult has also meant that not only am I dealing with the physical, mental and emotional stresses of this disease I’ve also been struggling financially to absorb the costs of all the supplies while trying to support myself and family at the same time (we were already struggling pre-diagnoses). I don’t know any other Diabetics personally so I just really want to thank all you for sharing your triumphs and daily struggles. You really inspire me to be a better persona and Diabetic!!!

I’m 23, just graduated college with a bachelors degree in Nuclear Medicine…I’ve been a “brittle” type 1 since I was 9…and I’ve never before expressed my feelings about it online, or in a group, or anywhere. So, this is cool! Like I said, I just graduated college, and am preparing to take my boards examinations, I have been on the pump for about a year an a half and I am so grateful for it. The only thing is, I can feel everything now. At certain times in the day if my sugars are 95 I feel shaky,lightheaded, low…and at other times if my sugars are 112 I feel irritable and high! While I am in way better control than I ever thought possible, I just want this nightmare to end. I am at a huge disadvantage in a career setting. It’s hard enough for people to try and understand what we go through, but then when I am about to pass out with a blood sugar of 90, people treat me like I’m not in control of it, they treat me like I am a cry baby or something…trust me, I know, feeling high at 110 and low at 95? I didn’t think it was possible…but for the past year and a half since I’ve been in “better control”, I haven’t had a break, I never feel well. I know that I can do it all, but people don’t understand how hard it is. I just…I need a vacation from Diabetes while I get my career started! And yes, talking to people helps…a little bit, but there is nothing anyone can do and for that reason I just feel helpless sometimes. Anyway…thanks for listening.

Hi there

I am 23 yeas old and was diagnosed with type one at 13. I have reached the 10 year mark and suddenly feeling the “diabetes burn out” that a lot of people have described. I am sick and tired of trying to stay on top of it all. I have depression and anxiety and struggle with stress, i have been on anti-depressants for the last 2,5 years… It really helps and i swear by my medication, but not everyday is a walk in the park.

I am currently working as an Occupational therapist which in a third world county, can be very traumatic and emotional. These stressors in life seem to affect my sugar levels and my health. I have recently started to see a psychologist regularly and this seems to help with being able to vent my feelings and frustrations.

I have not had a good hba1c for few years now! I have only recently come below 10. it is now 9.8. I feel like my whole life and worries revolve around getting that number lower. It is frustrating to always think about so much more than just the every day stress ‘normal’ people go through. The fluctuating sugar levels leave me feeling exhausted and cranky and sick. I often have headaches and just a general feeling of ‘unwell.’

I am on an insulin pump, and have been for 3 years now and I do love it. I do agree with people when they say it can make you a bit lazy!! Basically, i hardly know anyone with type one diabetes. NOBODY in my family has it for as far as we can remember? So its been quite a challenge, figuring this all out on my own! I know it has made me a stronger person and I learnt patience from it too. It is just not easy and that is that!

basically, all i really want to say is this sucks!!