I'm having so many problems at once!

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1

I can't take it anymore! I absolutely am done!! I finally thought all the stress was over and I could finally enjoy the end of the year, but what do I get? MORE stress?!? More homework?! And MORE high blood sugars than I've ever had in my 6 months being Diabetic!

The night time shot seems to hurt worse every night. My body hurts so much from all the shots, and I bruise in those places quite often. People who happen to be in or come into the office at school when im taking insulin shots gasp at me like I'm a freak, and I can barely sleep anymore. I've been taking my insulin, and sometimes I even overdo it, thinking at least I will be low later, not high, but I'm still high anyway! Why has the insulin failed me all the sudden?

 I only have 2 good friends who talk to me anymore and I mean REALLY talk to me. They understand what I'm going through. To top the cake, I'm having troubles at home too. My parents are always bad mouthing each other and my mom says she can't even stand my step dad anymore. Therefore, I may find myself going through a second divorce in my small family. Why does life suck in every category all at once all the sudden? What happened to the good ole days where everyone, including myself, was happy, healthy, not arguing? What happened to my perfect blood sugars?

I know I sound over dramatic, like a spoiled brat. And I know I may have wasted your time having anyone here read my rant but it's how I feel right now, and I'm just sick and tired of it all. I couldn't hold it in any longer! So I had to say something. It's not like anyone else will care, and besides I hate physically talking to people about my feelings.

 I still love my life, but I hate what's going on in it right now! :'(

2

a) not over dramatic
b) not spoiled at all
c) completely valid
d) you aren't alone
e) it won't always be perfect
f) but it'll get easier

I could go to Z, and then into the roman alphabet, and believe me I would if I didn't think I should actually write something out like a normal human. Which I am, and shall do:
I think you're just feeling the pressure from being newly diagnosed. The insulin hasn't failed you, and stress definitely makes you higher (typically; unfortunately, it's kind of like a cycle in my experience: stress, high, stress over high, higher... etc)

I'm glad that you have friends to talk to, and that right there should help to take some stress off. And I know what you're going through. I haven't talked about any of this with my friends, but a while back, at one point my family was going through my problems. There were relationship issues, and then there was a death. 2008 was an incredibly difficult year for us, and I think we all sort of breathed a sigh of relief when midnight hit on New Year's. What helped me was talking with my parents. I can't tell you how many long talks we had, just about everything and nothing at the same time. During the relationship junk, we'd sit in the parking lots outside grocery stores and get rapped up in conversation for hours.

My point of this is, we all go through really rough patches. My point of the last paragraph was in my opinion, talking to your parents about it would definitely be an option. If they're arguing is bugging you, tell them! And especially because it's impacting your health, it sounds like it needs to be fixed to me.

And guess what? We do care :) In fact, we care a lot here on Juvenation. I think you'll be surprised how much support you have; I bet you'll get tons of responses here and some great advice. Mine? Probably not the best. But then again, I suck at putting stuff to words.

If you like, why don't you send me a conversation and I can try to be more helpful :) – and thorough… I don’t know if anyone even gets what I’m trying to say.

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I totally feel for you for all you're going through.  When I was first diagnosed my parents, who were separated at the time, got back together and started fighting again and split up again.  In addition, I was studying for my big nursing exams and my dog died.  This was all while I was trying to get used to having diabetes.  Sometimes life just gives you a whole bunch of hard stuff all at once and it is so overwhelming.  It's enough that you have to deal with having diabetes without all that other stuff.  But as was mentioned, you are totally not alone.  We all care and we've been there.  We know how hard it is to deal with diabetes but also we know that it will get better and easier over time.  You should talk to your doctor about possibly increasing your long acting insulin to bring down your blood sugars during this hard time.  Don't beat yourself up for it though whatever you do.  Highs are frustrating but with some adjusting they'll come under control eventually.  And about the bruising, I used to bruise a lot on my abdomen and I was so worried about going on vacation and not being able to wear a bikini.  But for some reason, I don't bruise anymore.  Very weird but good.  I'm glad you have friends to discuss stuff with.  I found too that journalling was really good just to get all my emotion out when I was adjusting to life with diabetes.  Keep talking about your feelings and always remember that although it seems like a long way off from now, life with diabetes will get easier and you will feel normal again. 

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     I'm sorry things are so rough for you right now.  Sometimes stress radically affects the way your body functions, including the insulin delivery system, especially when you have to manually inject it.  It looks like you haven't been diabetic too terribly long, so maybe your body is still adjusting to its needs in addition to all the added stress.  Have you talked with your doctor lately?  That may be a good starting point.  He/she may be able to direct you to some other support options.  Whatever you do, keep talking with your friends;  anything to relieve the stress will help.

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Hey Elena.


Do me a favor... take a deep breath! Okay... you need to do that every once and while.

Please trust me with the fact that it will get better! You need to take it day by day and don't worry about the future too much. Stress can definitely lead to high blood sugars, which can make you feel that the insulin isn't working.

but no matter what is going on, you need to take care of yourself and your diabetes! Never give up on that.

If you night shot is hurting, is it the needle itself, or is it the stinging of the insulin? If it's the needle, perhaps you  need to try a different needle gauge. I would definitely talk to your doctor about this. and if it's the insulin stinging (usually when you reach about 20 units of Lantus, but I'm not sure which insulin you are on), you may need to split this to twice a day to decrease the stinging.

As far as your parents go. It's not your battle to worry about. If you are annoyed and irritated that your mom is talking to you about your stepdad, then tell her that you don't want to hear about it. I went through a hard time after my parents were divorced because I was always the middle (i'm an only child) and I was the messenger. Each parent would be complaining about the other parent, and I finally just told them that I don't want to hear it.

Explain to your mom that you don't want the extra stress of having to worry about her and your step dad. And Hopefully they will work it out and you won't need to go through another divorce. I know it's rough.

Also, you are not being over dramatic, or a spoiled brat. And you have not wasted my time ranting. You have every right to let out your feelings and it's especially easy to do with people you don't know in person. It's so much better health wise then to hold it all in. So rant as much as you would like.

Finally, if you EVER need help with diabetes issues come here! There are so many people on here, which a LOT of experience. Any problem you have, chances are at least one person has had the same or similar problem. They can try to help!

So again, take a deep breath, focus on one thing, and remember, it will get better, even if it doesn't seem so right now.

If you ever need to talk let me know! I've only been diagnosed for 10.5 months, so I know how frustrating the first year can be.

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Hi Elena,

My son was dx Aug 08 and we have had a lot of the same ups and downs as you. He Had "perfect" Blood sugars as well until about 2 months ago when I think the "honeymoon" ended and the reality set in. Also, I'm not sure where you live -as I post- but if it's somewhere with cold weather like where we live - your activity level may have gone down (that's what happened to Matthew) and the #'s went up a bit) maybe you just need some tweeking of the carb ratios.

As far as the arguing your parents do - I can tell you from my point of view - it has nothing to do with you. It may just be everyone getting used to a different way of doing things.  I tend to take everything on myself. Picking up scripts, meals. logging numbers, making dr appoint. doing the middle of the night checks etc...Sometimes it makes me tired and stressed and I get cranky with my other kids or my husband. Honestly, things will get better!

Oh and my son has also experienced the gasping kids in the nurse's office. One kid turned white as a ghost at the sight of the pen needle. Being the wise acre that he is though, Matthew proceeded to give himself the injection in front of the poor boy who almost fainted and had to be escorted out of the nurses office! Kids will eventually get used to it...and hey if they can't take it they can wait outside until your finished.

Keep up the great work!

~Julie

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i dont have many problemes in my life right now but, to help calm down when youre stressed, try just relaxing and doing something that will make you forget about the problemes in your life. when im frustrated, i put on some music and try to find every little sound in it and let my mnd wander with the music, wherever it takes me, i go with it. then when i listen to it later, i can hear all those quiet sounds that i didnt hear before. try comparing that to yourself: you are a whole, but there are bigger parts of you that others see, then the smaller parts that still influence you, but you have to find them before others can see them. try finding those smaller parts of yourself to distract yourself from your problemes.

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Elena,

Sometimes things happen in your life all at once and it can be a lot  to bear. Back in 2003 I had a series of events happen to me 1 after another by 2005 I was a nervous wreck and was so overwhelmed that I became very depressed. Venting here can help because we don't know you and won't pass judgement.

When I was depressed I found that the first thing to take a hit was my diabetes care. Eventhough all of this seems overwhelming right now it doesn't last forever. Just make sure that you take care of yourself and don't let your diabetes spin out of control. Take a breather.

Maybe you can join a book club or take a yoga class even what Courtenay suggested to listen to music, to help you relax.

You are going through all sorts of NORMAL emotions even though it doesn't feel like its normal. You can always talk to us when you are feeling down maybe we can all cheer you up!

9

Wow, thank you guys for all the really nice and helpful replies! I'm on break now (less stress and relaxation!) and finally told my parents how i was feeling. though i still can't change my stepdad, its a lot better for the time. thank you so much for all the encouragement and advice! i knew i would get plenty of it here. :)

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Elena,

I am glad we could help. We have all been there at one time or another. So, if you ever need help you can get it here! Glad you told your parents!

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Hey! Hope things ease up for you!!