I don't know what to do, please help me =(

General
1

Hi everyone,

I'm new to this site and I thought it could help me out with some of my problems. I'm a junior in high school, and I feel like I'm just so depressed all the time (I probably am now that I admitted it).  And after thinking a lot about it, there is probably one thing that affects everything else: my weight. And I know there have been multiple topics on this issue, but I don't feel like there were answers I was looking for. Plus, I kind of wanted to release all the tension I've been holding since I was diagnosed with Type I Diabetes in 2006.

So before diagnosis, I was skinny and smart and happy and everything was fine.  Then comes diabetes and all this weight just piled up! and no matter how hard I try, all the exercising, dieting, nothing seems to be working. My grades are slipping and I'm always stressed and all I worry about is losing pounds!! And at one point, I seriously considered to stop eating, but I'm not sure what would happen.  If I didn't eat like anything, I wouldn't need to take insulin, right and therefore stop gaining pounds? Idk, but I don't think I would be able to do that anyways. cause I eat off the walls! My thighs...are so gross I can't stop thinking about how big they are, and all the while, I don't fricking do anything about it!! I try to find answers and get mixed responses such as go running or walking, and then others tell me that running will grow muscles which will make my legs even bigger! and I don't care if I don't have muscles in my legs, I just want them to be thin again. Instead, I try to cut down on food, but it's obviously not working. T__T Then I give up, and completely binge on unhealthy things. -.-

So I try to take a minimal amount of insulin but still enough to account for whatever I ate (which is a lot anyways), but now that I learned why I'm getting so fat is because of insulin, I don't wanna take it anymoreee. I know diabulimia is really bad, so I'm not going to stop taking insulin...but I don't want to inject myself anymore because I'm just going to gain more weight and I don't know what to do about it. My thighs are really large because I inject myself there the most. So when I change sites and decide to do my stomach, IT'S FAT THERE TOO because I also inject there! T_T Then I figured I should do my arm, and what do you know, THEY'RE SO FAT, TOO! omg i don't knoww, I don't want anywhere do gain anymore weight.

I seriously gained like 30 pounds and my love handles stick out like sore thumb!! Does anyone know what I should do to get rid of them?

All this plus my roller coaster blood sugars are all so overwhelming and I can't take it anymore. I think I'm going to become depressed and not take care of myself, and my mom won't let me go away for college if I can't take care of myself, and I probably won't get into college anyway because my grades are dropping, and I have SAT exams coming up, and I also have AP exams coming up, and I have more schoolwork to do, and I have no time to concentrate on weight now, but I DO IT ANYWAYS and it's making me stressed, which makes my blood sugars messed up, and I eat WAY more than I used to and I HATE DIABETES. T____T

And I realize I'm having a mental breakdown, but I am grateful that I got diabetes and not something worse. Sometimes, I am proud of being a diabetic, and other times I want to just give up! like right about now...

Maybe others feel this way too? what do you do about it all? I can't help but always wonder how my life would be if I didn't get diabetes, and then I start crying and I don't how to handle anything.

Sorry this is so long and that it might be in the wrong section of the forum,

Sam.

2

Sam-

It is ok to feel this way. I am new to this site and have been diabetic since 1995. I was 13 when I was diagnosed. One thing you could ask your dr. is symalin. It helps cut appetite and will help with weight loss for some people...but it is one more injection 1-3 times a day. I am not on it but have heard it helps a lot of people.

High school is a hard time and I remember being in hs and wanting to give up and stop eating and taking shots and worring about it. But I have used this frustration to educate others and to get involved with teen camps. Are there any in your area?? THey are fabulous and you meet amazing people just like you and me!!

To get your mind off of things such as weight, food, being diabetic-get outside and stay busy, go to the movies with friends, find a new hobby such as roller blading or hiking!

I live in las vegas and moved out here so i could be more active outdoors.  I hope this helps and know that there are MANY people that feel this way about their diabetes, i am one of them sometimes. Just remember it is a blessing to be different and unique and use this "illness" as a way to educate and elighten others, even if you may feel down.

Oh, about the depression-you can take herbals for happy seretonin-such as st. john's wart and 5-htp (at night, makes you sleepy) to help boost your spirits, and if this doesn't help ask your dr. for some lexapro (it's not addicting), i'm actually gonna try this next week for my anxiety!!

Best wishes and thoughts-

Melissa :)

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>> And at one point, I seriously considered to stop eating, but I'm not sure what would happen.  If I didn't eat like anything, I wouldn't need to take insulin, right and therefore stop gaining pounds? <<

WRONG! Users of insulin pump therapy have found that the human body has two different needs for insulin. One is the need for insulin to cover the food we eat. But there is also a need for continuous background insulin. And the background insulin amounts to roughly 50% of the total daily insulin requirement. So don't ever stop insulin altogether. If you're using injections, your long acting insulin is what covers the background need, and your short acting insulin is what covers the food you eat.

I have been taking insulin for 66 years, the first 52 on injections, and the most recent 14 years on insulin pumps. In my opinion, pump therapy is far superior to injection therapy. I don't have experience dealing with depression, but I agree you need help there too. But don't stop taking insulin!

Tom

 

4

Hey Sam,

 

I'm Ginger, from www.diabeteens.com.

 

It is not uncommon to gain weight after being diagnosed with diabetes, because insulin is a storage hormone and it can help us store fat if we're getting more than we need. As a new diabetic, you're still regulating and balancing low blood sugars and high blood sugars. The lows require you to eat more, the highs require you to take more insulin. Both will lead to weight gain.

However, you can't stop taking insulin. Everyone - whether or not they have diabetes - needs insulin to LIVE. You will die if you don't take your insulin.

Frankly, I'd rather be 30 pounds overweight than dead! Right?

For you to lose weight, you need to do the same thing any non-diabetic needs to do: exercise, control what you eat and choose healthy things - and monitor your insulin and blood sugars.

 

Both a diabetic and non-diabetic can control how much insulin they produce and use by eating less carbs, since we need insulin to digest carbs much more so than we do for protein and fats.

Check out a few of these articles and see if this helps you understand the nutrition and exercise aspects:

Nutrition:
1. http://www.healthcentral.com/diabeteens/c/27511/54437/interview-berry
2. http://www.healthcentral.com/diabeteens/c/27511/51113/interview-berry
3.http://www.healthcentral.com/diabeteens/quizzes-273204.html?ic=4004
4. http://www.healthcentral.com/diabeteens/c/27511/49019/ginger-supposed

Weight issues:
1. http://www.healthcentral.com/diabeteens/c/27511/52047/interview-berry
2. http://www.healthcentral.com/diabeteens/c/27511/52031/healthy-weight
3. http://www.healthcentral.com/diabeteens/index-195546.html?ic=506016

Diabulimia:
1. http://www.healthcentral.com/diabeteens/c/27511/55832/weight-insulin
2. http://www.healthcentral.com/diabeteens/ask-ginger-260597-5.html

Life!!!
1. http://www.healthcentral.com/diabeteens/c/27511/20893/experiment
2. http://www.healthcentral.com/diabeteens/c/27511/59022/energy-diabetes
3. http://www.healthcentral.com/diabeteens/c/27511/60651/ve-gotta-adapt

 

And Sam, this is all very challenging and requires a lot of time and consistency. But this is your health. It's not just about being thin and skinny. It's about being healthy and happy. Even if you weight 100 pounds, but you're not taking enough insulin and you're not eating, you are not going to be happy. I'd bet a lot of money on that.

Slow down. Give yourself some room for not being perfect, and see what you can do to change your life and habits to help you be healthy! Not just skinny.

 

-Ginger

 

 

5

I think you've taken a valuable first step by admitting that you are experiencing difficulties with diabetes.  Now you can take the next step and seek professional help. If you really are depressed all the time, you need to talk to someone who can assess it, be it a school counselor, a doctor, or a private counselor.  You need to let your parents know.  Do not try to self-medicate, if you really do have clinical depression avoiding a doctor can be deadly.  I don't know how your control is now, but the weight gain might be coming from better control...when you didn't know about diabetes you couldn't gain weight as easily.  Do not alter your insulin to try and manipulate your weight, you are putting yourself at risk for diabetic ketoacidosis. It is deadly, painful, and the effects of multiple DKAs are cumulative (they do not go away, they add up even after you get the ketones out of your system).  Overall, I think you're really self-aware to see what is going on, and even more courageous to seek out others and find advice.  I just think you need answers from professionals in this case.

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Sam, definitely don't give up. I was looking through to see if anyone else suggested this but they didn't...When you go to your doctor and get blood work done, do they check your thyroid hormone levels? At my last endo appointment they tested for that because I had gained about 10lbs in a short period of time with no real change to my diet/exercise. But nonetheless he called me with the results and told me that my levels were well above the norm and I've been on Synthroid ever since.

It might not be the answer, but it's a possibility as an overactive thyroid can, in most cases, cause weight gain.

Keep your chin up!

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Thank you, everyone, for all your wonderful suggestions. I will definitely keep them in mind. =)

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Hey there Sam. I completely understand where you are coming from....i was diagnosed at 12 after loosing 60 ponds in 4 months!  I was LOVING those size 3 jeans! When I noticed the weight piling on, I went from 2 injections a day to maybe ONE injection every OTHER day or maybe even every THIRD day! Unbelievably, I never ended up in DKA, but well should have.  i kept this up for several years actually, never checking my blood sugars because, hey, I just honestly didn't want to know!

Anyways, here I am, 24 years down the road (at 36) and I have lost my vision not once but TWICE! I also have pretty bad neuropathies and CKD stage 3. All of this, thanks to my unwillingness to deal (healthfully)with a little weight gain.  Geez.

Unfortunately, weight will ALWAYS be an issue for you...as well as EVERY SINGLE OTHER DIABETIC out there.  You are truely NOT ALONE! you sound like such a smart person..please be smarter than I was! if anyone ever told me this when I was first diagnosed...maybe I would have listened, maybe not. Who knows?

I do know...size 3 jeans just weren't worth it!

Be strong and good luck to you!