Help!

Not sure if i put this in the right spot, but oh well...

I was diagnosed in July of 09 at the age of 21...now 22...anyway, when I was first diagnosed I had also broken 8 bones so I was wheelchair bound and taking classes online, so I was home, able to monitor D very closely. Now that I'm actually in classes and hardly home, I've almost given up!! I rarely test, I forget to do insulin then I feel really bad physically afterwards. My 14 year old brother is also T1 and has had it for 6 years now and me and him were talking about it last night and he was like "Kimi you can't give up, I know it's hard, but I don't want to lose you. You can't give up and die or end up in the hopital again" I know he's right and I love the fact that he's trying to help, but it seems so much harder!!! I even forget to do my lantus cause I get so busy studying that the D just doesn't phase me. I'm so stressed just with school that I know that's also causing my BS to be high and when I'm stressed I eat, so I know it's super high cause of the food and the stress....I just need help or motivation or something before I really screw things up and end up DKA!!! Any suggestions???

I would search the forums for college advice, there's a lot of good stuff there.  You can see if your college has diabetes resources such as an educator, or get registered with disability if you haven't already.  In terms of testing and taking insulin, I forget both too.  Some people set alarms or recruit a friend that will remind them to test/inject, or try to add routine to their lives (such as 6PM is always dinner time).

You need to start bringing your insulin AND your glucometer with you everywhere. It's not hard. You carry a book bag to class- stuff the glucometer and the insulin in there. You can be discrete.  "Forgetting" to give your shots and/or test your blood sugar sounds like suicide.  You don't just "forget" to do things you know are keeping you alive.  You got the disease- deal with it.  Your refusal to do what is necessary isn't going to make the disease go away.  If you need to, set timers on a watch or on a cell phone. Carrying all your stuff WITH you gives you one less excuse for not doing the right thing.  Start keeping a regular schedule. Your classes are on a specific schedule so get yourself into a routine.  If your first class is at 9 and it takes you 15 minutes to walk there, make sure you're up at 8, take your blood as you roll out of bed, give your shot then drag your butt to the shower.  Then... off to class.  Decide you are hungry in the middle of your last class? No problem IF you have your blood test and insulin with you. Whip it out, test, give your shot and off you go.  It sounds like you're using a lot of excuses to try to justify your behavior.  Just STOP IT.  You don't "forget" to go to the bathroom when you have to pee.  You don't "forget" to swallow when you take a drink of water. You've accepted those things as requirements, so you do them. It is time for you to accept your diabetes and accept the stuff you need to do to stay alive.  

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You need to start bringing your insulin AND your glucometer with you everywhere. It's not hard. You carry a book bag to class- stuff the glucometer and the insulin in there. You can be discrete.  "Forgetting" to give your shots and/or test your blood sugar sounds like suicide.  You don't just "forget" to do things you know are keeping you alive.  You got the disease- deal with it.  Your refusal to do what is necessary isn't going to make the disease go away.  If you need to, set timers on a watch or on a cell phone. Carrying all your stuff WITH you gives you one less excuse for not doing the right thing.  Start keeping a regular schedule. Your classes are on a specific schedule so get yourself into a routine.  If your first class is at 9 and it takes you 15 minutes to walk there, make sure you're up at 8, take your blood as you roll out of bed, give your shot then drag your butt to the shower.  Then... off to class.  Decide you are hungry in the middle of your last class? No problem IF you have your blood test and insulin with you. Whip it out, test, give your shot and off you go.  It sounds like you're using a lot of excuses to try to justify your behavior.  Just STOP IT.  You don't "forget" to go to the bathroom when you have to pee.  You don't "forget" to swallow when you take a drink of water. You've accepted those things as requirements, so you do them. It is time for you to accept your diabetes and accept the stuff you need to do to stay alive.  

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It's not always that easy. I wear a pump and forget to bolus sometimes. I'm not doing it on purpose. I'm not thinking "hmm, I wonder how sick I can make myself today." I get busy, shit happens, and I forget. When blood testing and shots aren't part of your normal routine, making it a part of your routine isn't going to happen over night. Don't assume they're doing these things on purpose. Especially when they were open enough to come out here and ask for help. Don't chastise - offer some sound advice to help them, not tear them down.

Hmmm... I'm pretty sure the rant contained a number of pieces of sound advice (keep your glucometer with you at all times, carry your insulin/syringe with you at all times, keep yourself on a regular schedule, get yourself into the right frame of mind).  I wasn't trying to chastise but it doesn't really sound as though you're offering much in terms of advice.  I've been dealing with this for a lifetime- INCLUDING four years in college. It is possible to stay on track... but not when people enable bad behavior and bad choices.  

You're right. You did offer some good advice, and I'm sure it's appreciated. Being judgemental as to why she possibly might not be doing these things isn't appreciated.

<laughing> Perhaps.  You can't really hear tone via the web.  So, please understand that I wasn't yelling at the person who posted the message.  There are some dangerous habits afoot, however, and if this person doesn't get herself on track, she won't survive. Diabetes isn't a death sentence- it just requires a slight change in your way of life.  Things change.  We decide how to regard those changes.  Kimi can look at all the stuff that's been going on in her life and decide what to do next.  Hopefully, those decisions will enable her to make better choices which will lead to a more comfortable life.  Kimi, if my previous post offended you, I'm sorry. I was trying to just smack you into understanding that your life is different now and therefore, your behavior/habits must change, as well.  Apparently, my words could have been hurtful.  If I offended YOU, sorry.

I got overzealous, and I apologize. I also took away from what's important, which is helping Kimi. I think Juvenation is doing amazing things by helping people and allowing everyone to share their feelings. So let's get back to the important stuff :o)

Set alarms on your cell or whatever to remind you to test and or take your lantus at the same time every night.

Kim,I can't go past this post and say nothing.So I want to say I am proud of you for asking for help.We all need that at times.Keep reaching out till you get the help you need...

I find this interesting. I was diagnosed at age 7 so I had my parents around all the time telling me to test and giving me my shots. I adapted to having diabetes because my parents were there to help get me into a routine. In your instance, you have to find a way to adapt when you've already had a routine without diabetes. I can see how this could be incredibly difficult especially when you throw in the stress of college. My advice, and I know it may not be easy but slow down a bit, try to find time for activites that may alleviate the stress (ie. go for a run, work out, read a book, etc.) even if its just 30 minutes of your day. Talk to your brother as much as possible, he understands what you're feeling and how to cope with it. Sounds like he is a great source for encouragement. As for the testing and shots, if you don't want to end up DKA you know what you need to do. You just need to find a way to get it into your routine, and sounds like it should probably start with testing more frequently.

Don't give up!! You will pull through this!!

...Eric...thanks my best friend is going to start texting me and just helping me remember.

Michelle...it's not that I don't bring it with me everywhere...I'm not that stupid...It's my schedule is really busy this semester and I'm not used to the adjustment of being diabetic and away from home. It's not the morning and night time that I have a problem with it's the inbetween like when I'm at school that I have problems with, becuase I'm NOT used to it! AND the "suicide" part is insane...I'm the most giggly happy person in the world. That's why I turned to here because when I talk to my brother it upsets him, because 3 weeks after my diagnosis I had a seizure and it scared him more then anybody in our family! I'm pretty sure death is the last thing I want here, that's why I came here! Because I've talked to everybody else and yeah, my brother is supportive, but he's only 14 and has constant reminders. I've had it for a little over 7 months and am still adjusting. You've dealt with this I'm assuming most of your life, I don't know, but what I do know, is that it isn't easy after living 21 1/2 years of being "normal." And for your last post...it kinda did to me "sound" like yelling, I'm sorry, I'm new to this "disease" and am just looking for "help" before I do end up DKA. I know it is my life and that it is different, but sometimes it takes support from "friends" even if you don't exactly "know" the person.

C...thanks...I know I need to make it part of my life and I've accepted that it is part of my life, it's just frustrating and hard with everything else going on with school and softball and just the normal 22 year old life things.

Jessica...I'm pretty good with my Lantus, there have been a couple nights that when I'm hardcore studying that I have forgotten, but other then that, I'm doing pretty good with that one. I'm actually going to email my endo and see if I can switch my Lantus to the morning instead of at night that way when I'm studying I don't have to worry about leaving my room. I get in these hardcore study moods and I don't think of anything else.

Meme...Thanks to you too...I am so greatful that I joined this website and I joined soon after I was diagnosed and I was so motivated and everything was all good, but I think just the stress of actually being away from home now it's harder. I don't have the constant reminder of "Kimi blood sugar and insulin" but now that I don't have that reminder it's hard. I know it shouldn't be but it is.

Mike..that's how my brother is and when I'm home my parents do the same thing they know that I'm new, but at the same time they see that I'm 22 and should be able to do it on my own. Yeah, my brother is definitely good encouragement. I'm actually going to start running this week, I've just been so busy with studying and everything else in life. 

 

Thanks guys...for the support!!! I appreciate it!!! I know I shouldn't be wanting to give up and I'm NOT!!!! It's just hard and I know it's my life now and I'm ready to take it on full force like I did in July when I was diagnosed...if I can go through being diabetic and having 8 bones all at once, I should be able to handle it with not being broke.

 

 

Kimi, you are doing all the right things by reaching out to us and asking for help. You also recognize in yourself the problems you have - which is also good. Obviously the "how to" fix them part is the hardest. You are making a move in the right direction. This is so very new to you and very overwhelming when you include all of your other responsibilities.

You will be able to pull through this and balance diabetes with the rest of your life. It is going to be difficult, and it will take time, but you already know what is required of you. Now you need to figure out how to start incorporating these things into your life :o) We, your family, friends, and your doctor(s) are all here to help you.

A lot of good suggestions have been given here - such as using alarms, putting yourself on a new routine, double checking you have supplies are with you, utilizing campus resources. How do you feel you are coping with the new diagnosis emotionally? As I got older and went to college, I had a difficult time handling my emotions with the stress of work, college, and my illnesses. Do you think part of your problems with remembering to take insulin may be emotionally based? If they are, there are resources on campus and in your community that can help you work through your emotions.

I have confidence in you Kimi. Like you mentioned, you lived a good and normal life for quite some time before diabetes. You will be able to do the same thing after your diagnosis - it will take some time to adjust. Even though you are struggling now, I think you are doing a good job. Reaching out for help is the first step!

C...I know emotionally, I have emotional problems, I bottle/hide everything until I'm ready to explode. It might be emotionally based.

I just wish sometimes that I could've "gotten it" when I was younger so it wouldn't be such a hard transition.

It seems hard now, but it will get easier for you. Right now, it's just not easy to see that. Good luck to you. We are here to help where we can. Don't be afraid to look for help elsewhere if you think you need it. :o) Keep letting us know what we can do for you.

Thanks C I appreciate it! I seriously don't think I could do this without the support of ya'll and my family.

Kimi, I know what you are dealing with. Some of the folks here have given you some wonderful suggestions. Maybe you should read through this entire thread as it grows, and take down some notes from it on a piece of paper. Some of the practical suggestions that have been posted here are worth writing down. Then KEEP that piece of paper in a special place so you can read it every now and then. The best incentive I can offer you is that YOU WILL FEEL MUCH BETTER AND BE ABLE TO DO BETTER IN YOUR CLASSES IF YOU MAKE YOUR DIABETES CARE PART OF YOUR ROUTINE. Your brain cannot function well without its primary fuel, which is glucose -- and the only way it can use glucose is with proper insulin. So you are going to find that you won't retain information well if your levels drop too low or rise too high. When levels go either too high or too low, a feeling of being overwhelmed or a panic type of feeling sometimes happens, and you don't need glucose issues adding to your already very stressful college schedule. In fact, some of the stress you are dealing with may very well be BECAUSE your levels are not being well-controlled. That may be something to think about -- it might be interesting to see if your mental stress levels go down once you get better control over those numbers.

For a stressed-out college student, that alone is a major incentive to keep good control. So make a pact to yourself -- test before you sit down to study, or test before _____ class. If you build the testing into your current class and study routine, you will be more alert in classes and better able to retain what you read. So tying your diabetic stuff to your class schedule seems to make sense. Write it in your daily calendar. Or set your email software's calendar to send you annoying messages: TEST AT 3 O'CLOCK. Stuff like that will help remind you. In time, it will become part of your habit. But you need to be aggressive and to figure out when you need to test and set up something to remind you to do so.

Not so hard to take it one step at a time. When is the next time you need to test? OK, now, what can you do to remind yourself at that time? Surely there is something you can set in place NOW as you read this to remind you to test at the next appropriate time. Then, at THAT test time, set yourself another reminder for the next one, etc.

College may be some of the worst stress you will ever have to deal with. It was for me. I was an art student -- I had always excelled at art, and had been the best in my hometown high school. But suddenly in my Art School college, I found myself surrounded by other gifted people, and I no longer stood out as the most talented. I was just one of many, and I had to work really hard to survive in college. Your brain needs as much help as you can give it, so do the diabetes control for your own best life. That's my pep talk.

But don't be too hard on yourself. Even folks who are tightly controlled sometimes forget. I just went and bought subs for my husband and myself for dinner, came home and tested glucose. Found my levels to be at 86, and since I tend to be prone to dropping low, I decided that I should eat first, and then take my insulin so that the insulin wouldn't peak before my meal started digesting. I ate, and started folding laundry while watching a movie, FORGETTING TO GO TAKE THE INSULIN! When I broke out in a sweat a half hour later, I remembered that i had never taken my dinner insulin so I raced back and took it. My levels had spiked too high, prompting me to sweat (I do this if too low OR too high). Now I get to play catch-up for the next few hours. My plan was absolutely correct, but forgetting to take the insulin blew my good plan to smithereens. This happens sometimes and you adjust as quickly as you can. And try to learn from the mistake so you don't make the same mistake again. I should have brought my test kit and insulin to the dinner table with me to remind me. I left it in another room, and this was my mistake. Any of us can goof up at any time. The important thing is to learn from the mess-ups so you can figure out a way to remind yourself the next time. And to prioritize this now, which is what your posting the HELP request is all about. You are on the right track, methinks.

Your brother is absolutely correct. I volunteer for JDRF and you would be surprised that there are very young people already suffering from complications because they have not bothered to keep good control. I think in your teens and early 20s, people think that they are safe, that complications only happen to people who have been type 1 for a long time. I know one young man with horrible gastroparesis who says he would give enything to go back to his teen years and take better control of his numbers. He cannot digest food at all and while only in his 20s, he has a feeding tube now and cannot eat solids. He could live until he is 80, but the quality of his life has been shattered. And one teen girl who already has diabetic cataracts. This poor girl was an undiagnosed type 1 who lost her vision before any symptoms ever alerted anybody that she was a type 1 diabetic. I don't intend to scare, but just to point out that even though rare, it is very possible for terrible damages to happen to very young people whose glucose levels are not controlled. More than death, the real risk is that young folks AND older folks like me who don't take good control will live, but will suffer in life because of damages that could and should have been prevented. Alas, once symptoms of these damages appear, it is often too late for any improvement. None of this paragraph is meant to scare you -- it is just a reality, and one that folks like me who answer JDRF emails deal with and mourn over. These folks always tell us to tell other teens about them so that their loss can be used to help others. It isn't always the old who suffer from complications. So sad, so very sad...

This is your life, and a wonderful life as long as you keep that fabulous health you enjoy now, stressful though it is. Yes, we have to put effort into it,  but the rewards are very real. We don't do it out of fear of complications even though it is important to realize that good control is how we prevent complications. We do it to feel good, to stay healthy, and so our brains can work properly. You know your own mind probably better than anyone. Sit a moment and think about what the best kind of motivation is for YOU. Is it to do it for your brother? Is it to do it to help ace that class? To do it because you feel more energetic when your levels are good? You have to decide for yourself what best motivates you. Then you think about how you can best set up reminders. Be creative -- notes on your bathroom mirror? On the refrigerator? A post-it note "HAVE YOU TESTED AND TAKEN INSULIN?" in a book or on top of your lunch sandwich. Think outside the box -- there are many ways to set up reminders. If you have roommates you could be more private by posting a note on the frig that simply says "REMEMBER!" Or draw a frowny face on a bookmark -- frowny face to remind you to test -- and stick it in your textbook or somewhere you will see it. Use whatever tools you use to remember class assignments to also remind you to test and take insulin.

You can do it. I survived college, and so have many of the folks who post here on this forum. It IS harder for us as type 1 folks to get through college, but it is possible. You have some great helpers posting suggestions here for you. You can do it.

Thanks Susan, for typing that long post. I need to write a post it note...i can't believe I haven't thought about that and I have post it's reminding me of everything else in the world even my correction factor in my car and everywhere else.

When i'm trying to change the way i do something, one thing i think about is this: it takes three weeks to create a habit. 

that means that if, for three weeks, you are really precise and test everytime you need to and bolus everytime you need to, after three weeks, it takes much less work - the remembering part starts to come naturally. worked for me with brushing my teeth! :D

Also, when I was on lantus I took it at 1pm, because i was always awake at 1pm, whether i had a 9 am class or a saturday where i could sleep in super late. you might see if a different time works better for you - then DEFINITELY set an alarm. 

finding other folks with D is also a really good motivator - it's nice both to remember that no one is perfect and to see other people working as hard as you are on blood sugars. See if there are any groups that meet around there, maybe, or if you can start one of your own. Someone else on here has started the college diabetes network (http://collegediabetesnetwork.org/) which has been awesome here. 

GOOD LUCK! The fight sucks but is totally worth it. 

Your brothers right and dont give up im also in college and sometimes i agree it is hard to keep excellent track of your diabetes.But you just have to remember your health comes first.I usually carry my meter in my bag and im also on a pump which has helped me out a ton since its always with me and i dont feel weird about taken insulin in front of people.So my advise would be if you dont have a pump you should really get one it would help out you taking better care of yourself when at school and have a busy schedule