Hello all,
I was wondering if you could tell me what symptoms you had when you were first diagnosed. I have been experiencing muscle weakness for months now and I have a history of anemia. I'm trying to figure out what's wrong with me. I know the Type 1 puts me at higher risk for Celiac, so I was hoping y'all could help me out.
Thanks!
Georgia,
You are going to drive yourself insane if you take on the education of the people who shall NEVER, EVER “get” what we go through.
Here’s what works for me. I smile and nod, a lot. “You shouldn’t…” or “You can’t…” always gets a smile, a nod, and then I do what I wanted to do in the first place. If I am up for the fight, I might say something like “It’s a different disease, really” and continue with what I was doing.
Here’s how I find comfort. I know you can have a piece of cake if you bolus for it… YOU know you can have a bagel if you bolus for it… it comes down to how you see yourself versus how others see you… it’s the same thing as this: You can control your character, NOT your reputation. You already know you are taking care of yourself… who cares if the oxygen wielding, obese “Susie” calls you a “chair” – does it make you a chair? It doesn’t, unless on some level you believe her.
Don’t give away your power! – we have enough to worry about. Cheers!
about the you shouldnt eat that... you should say i can but maybe she cant.
Is Susie older than you? Has she had diabetes longer? One thing you can say if she was diagnosed quite a bit before you is that she is using an older type of management. This makes you look like the "hip" diabetic. I got diagnosed in the 80's, and the treatment plan was to take two shots a day, of predetermined amount. There was no sliding scale, there was no sugar in the diet. Now we have insulin pumps and fast acting insulin and micromanaging diet is not so important. For me, showing how informed I am over other methods of management, and sometimes being a little aggressive (the "how dare you try to manage my disease" attitude) are very effective.
I would say something to her especially if it is bothering you that much.
Just tell her that in regards to her management and yours it is quite different. That you can take insulin to cover what you are eating with a shot of insulin where she has to watch her diet. That you are on a carb to insulin ratio that you and your diabetes team have figured out and it works best for YOU. Tell her you appreciate her concern about YOUR diabetes care but that you have got it covered and would appreciate her not talking about you or embarrassing you in front of your co-workers in regards to your diabetes care. Then go to this website http://www.behavioraldiabetes.org/resources-diabetes-information-publications-etiquettecard.html and download the diabetes etiquette handout card it explains it all.... I have told a lot of people that same thing especially the type 2's and diabetes police at work.
It can be very annoying but if you set them straight you are golden.
Let me know what happens!
Gina
Goodness! Well, I completely empathize with you here.
I think Joe & Gina have some *very* good advice, but I know - if I were me in your shoes - I'd have about had it with "Susie" and would probably be itching for some uber-clever nugget of wisdom to shut her mouth once and for all. In truth, I've recently felt that I've about had it with co-workers (and some family) of my own.
I agree with Joe, however, that any attempt to educate every ignorant know-it-all around you is probably already a lost battle. It's one I had a tough enough time winning against myself, actually. When, from my ICU bed emerging from a near-coma and coming down from a 1600 blood sugar, I first heard the word, "diabetic" come out of my doctor's mouth, I was livid. And I immediately thought of my aunt, who had been diagnosed with Type 2 just a few months earlier. I was incredulous. My aunt is overweight, alone, inactive and just - well, sad & ugly (speaking to her character, mostly). Recalling all the overbearing narrow-mindedness, rudeness, possessiveness and jealousy that had always embodied her attempts at being close to me, I remember thinking to myself, "I cannot possibly have THIS in common with her!" It was a nightmare.
Needless to say, I bombarded my doctor (who I didn't know at all until that moment, actually, because my primary care physician, who *should* have noticed my symptoms but didn't, had deferred to this doctor - an endocrinologist - in the ER) with a powerhouse of accusatory questions, like, "How does a person leave a doctor being told she should just 'live it up' or 'go have a banana split' to gain some weight back... and then end up a diabetic in the ER?" It didn't make any sense to me. But I very quickly - very happily - learned that it was NOT the same disease with which my aunt was dealing. (And, in fact, she's not been taking care of herself very well at all since she was diagnosed with Type 2.)
It does seem strange to me that any person with Type 2 would claim to have anything at all to teach someone with Type 1. Type 1 -on its own- clearly is a more serious condition; I will admit, however, that most people I know with Type 2 unfortunately seem to have other health problems they complicating matters.
At the end of the day, though, a healthy diet for a Type 1 diabetic looks the same as a healthy diet for ANYONE. And if I'm going to judge myself for eating more ice cream than I feel I should have... then that's MY business... not anyone else's.
That said, if it bothers you, I think you should say something. I'm not very good at being tactful all the time myself, so I know how tempting it must be for you to put her in her place. But maybe you can take a look at Gina's etiquette card and find something you can use. It does make some good points. Or maybe you could just pull "Susie" aside some time and tell her plainly, "Look. I know we both have diabetes. But yours is Type 2 and mine is Type 1. And if you've read anything at all about either of those, you'll understand how tremendously different they are. I don't presume to offer you advice or criticism about your condition or how you handle it... and so I'd like the same respect from you toward my own condition." And if that doesn't work, maybe you could just threaten her with an harrassment or 'hostile work environment' complaint. ;o)
Please let me know what happens with this. I could use some advice myself.
Georgia,
Wait, you never told me we work in the same office! I have the same person, though her name isn't Type-Twosie, at my office!
Seriously, I work in an office with the same person, just a different name.
I used to pull out my pump, explain that between good planning and insulin, I could eat anything, but I learned that drew more envy than understanding. So now I just take whatever insulin, eat whatever, do whatever, shrug, and walk away. (I've had to use this tactic in a lot of office politics situations, beyond just diabetes.) But I know _exactly_ where you're coming from.
You have to be nice because you have to see them all the time in your work environment. Two-sie and susie need the etiquette cards. If that doesn't work...IGNORE.
Let me give you an example of what happened to me once. I was at work and a girl walked in with dunkin donuts and this coworker came over to me with a donut in hand and said YOU CANT EAT THIS. I actually grabbed theh donut out of the guys hand and ate it right of him and said YES I CAN, SEE! Took out my pump and bolused. I really didn't want that donut because of fat content but, he never bothered me again after that.
You know what to do if they want to be ignorant that is their problem. IGNORE, rinse and repeat lol
Awesome, Gina! You're my hero! ;o)
Rock on, Gina. I love the donut story! LOL. And thanks for the etiquette cards. I will keep those on hand; there are probably a lot of people that could benefit from that education.
Thanks for your advice, everyone. I think I just needed to unload! I haven't seen Susie around much but when and if she starts dispensing her unsolicited "wisdom", I will be kind. :) And then, I'll ignore her if I need to. I think she is pretty old school when it comes to her care so there's nothing I can do other than set a good example.
I think I am going to get a pump soon (woo-hoo!) and I can't wait to show it off. Maybe if I showed it to her she would at least get the sense that what I am doing to take care of myself allows me to live as normal a life as possible and all of this high tech stuff is way out of her league. Plan B, again, would be to ignore her. Hahahaha...
Thanks again!
Gina you crack me up. The question is, did you look at the donut long enough to be able to bolus properly or did you just guess?? :-p
I have to agree with what Joe said about the entire you can't eat that sort of thing. While I have never run into the type 1 vs. type 2 issue, those friends of mine who comment about what I eat fall under the same category. You need to let them know that you are well aware of what you can and cannot eat. Especially now, with fast acting insulin and the pump and other "advances" we have more control over what we can eat. It is just one of those things that we need to face and be ready for. In the end, my normal comment is kinda like Gina's other than my grabbing donuts out of peoples hands and stuffing them down my throat. I tend to say, "it's okay, I have planned for this into my meal schedule for the day. Thank you for your concern, but it's covered." Or when all else fails ignore or just say "Susie and others should mind their own business, I know how to take care of myself." Just make sure an hour later you don't pass out on them.
haha everyone else gave you much better advice.
i personally would've told her by now to fuck off and try to lose some weight before coming at me about eating cake...but then again, when people push my buttons to the point you seem to be at..i'm very blunt, very honest, and a huge bitch. haha.
Gina - you are my hero. I'm totally blunt about it too - sometimes it becomes really clear to the person if you say, "Right, how long have you been managing MY health on an hour to hour basis? I've been doing it 20+ years - I'm pretty sure I know what I'm doing."
Gina thanks! You sure know what to do... I would have cracked..
If this happened to me, I'd first tell them why I could possibly have some cake and how I can manage that. Then I'd tell them to mind their own damn business. Probably not in such polite words.
Georgia, you are totally awesome, and an excellent writer. And I quote - "I feel like shoving the cake right into her oxygen-masked face. That is so wicked of me, but really?"
hahaha, I was literaly laughing out loud (lol) haha.
And me? What would I do? I wish I could say I would be level headed and even tempered. I would lay into her. I hope I am not inaccurate, but Susie has brought all of this upon herself. Nobody has forced her to make poor food choices and continue to weigh 300 lbs.
Not a hero just your local diabetes citizen lol.
Actually I did not think about the bolus and how much i needed lol It all went so fast . I didn't think just reacted. That guy was bugging me about diabetes stuff for so long I just couldn't take it anymore. I cracked.
Ok worst part of that donut story, which I forgot to tell you guys before. You may get skeved but, he already took a bite of the donut before I swiped it from his hand. And there weren't anymore donuts after that one hahaha
of course i dont work but maybe this will help:
at school one day, my friend brought cupcakes in for her birthday. a couple days ago, a guy had brought in cupcakes for halloween. i didnt have a cupcake from the guy who brought one in but i wanted the cake so badly that when my frind was handing her cupcakes out i had one. luckily it was at the time i was supposed to eat and after my blood sugar wasnt too bad for having no idea what the carbs were in the cake.
a couple of weeks ago, there was a special occasion at school and cake was being handed out. i knew there would be cake the day before so i talked to my mom about it. my blood sugar had ben good around that time and i would be doing 3 hours of excercise thaat afternoon so she said not to have insulin. this one guy in my class who knew i had diabetes asked if i could have cake. according to a sheet i had to help estimmate the ccarbs toldme it would vbe about 70. i had the cake(including the mountain of icing) without any insulin. then people were asking should you have had all that? how did you eat that? an hour later my blood sugar was perfect and by bedtime it was low. yeah, i know, scarry.
so maybe you just have to eat something sugary that you shouldnt to prove that you can have it if you want to.
it's been so long since anyone has asked me about what i should and shouldn't eat. my complaint used to be what they had because it was mostly the regular drinks and no water or diet stuff. argh.
although i used to work in this office and every friday they had treat day where they would have cookies or some other stuff. well one of the woman came over to me with a plate of chocolate covered strawberries (my favorite) and said oh melissa im sorry are you sure you can have these? i laughed and said yes i can as long as my blood sugar is in check and my insulin level for that strawberry is good. this was back when i was on injections.