Diabetes doesn't let me be who I really am

So I'm a very shy person to begin with, but ever since I was diagnosed I feel like everybody judges me. I'm 5"3 and weigh 104 so I consider myself very thin. I'm gaining more weight now that I have my insulin pump, but somehow I feel like everybody that I meet and that knows me judges me for being so thin. I dont tell everybody that I'm a diabetic,  I find that really personal to tell the first time I meet someone. I'am a very outgoing person I love spending time with my friends I'm just so insecure and I hate that I compare myself to other girls who dont have diabetes. I cant help but wonder how I would be if I wasnt a diabetic. Me and my best friend stopped being "best friends" she became a total stranger! which sucks because she understood how i get with my diabetes. I put a wall up when it comes meeting new people and I think the whole experience of losing my best friend has affected me as well.

I go out with my boyfriend all the time, he has become my best friend and since his a bboy he goes to events where there's a lot of people, he presents me to his group of friends and their friends girlfriend's. I just hate that I cant be myself because of the insecurity of being a diabetic. I don't want diabetes to hold me back on showing who I really am! 

Well what is it about being diabetic that makes you insecure or compare.? I mean I've had weight gain from using to much insulin or from the pump ( I've lost a bit since going off ) but I just work out now. I'm not really sure how you feel different


The hardest thing to do is let people know. People will always misjudge you because alot of people don't really know what diabetes is. Of course when i was diagnosed i was 15yrs old so it was either let people know or they all will misjudge you. I started opening up about my diabetes because yes i did gain weight. I still gain weight wehn i switch insulines. ect. But hoenstly You will lose the friends who you thought were friends because they knew the old you before you were diagnosed with the new you.  I know its hard, but when it comes down to it. It just makes you stronger..  Your new friends will get to know you for you and diabetes will just be that extra thing but they wont care because they know you with diabetes. So don't be insecure about something you cant help! in being short and skinny alot of people would kill for. So be happy. of course your not 6'1 and 115 and being a model but that doesnt mean anything being 5'3 and 104 makes you,your on type of model. Just look at diabetes like its who you are cause it'll always be apart of who you really are.

Sorry for being soo jumpy in this but i think i got my point across.

Ok lol Hannah's answer is way better than mine. I was really confused at how you felt different than others. I was diagnosed at 8 and I guess never really talked about it during my school years so no one ever judged or misjudged me ( at least as far as being diabetic) but I mean being open about it way better because you can correct miss conception, granted that can get tiring. You are who you are, diabetes is a part of that, people who don't want to hear or understand the facts or like you because of WHO you are are not worth time. I mean I don't introduce myself as " hi my names Jessica the diabetic " is only a piece of the puzzle that makes me, me. And seriously judging for being thin, really? I mean that's just other people's insecurities being taken out on you. As long as your healthy and not one of those starve till I'm thin people why should anyone else care what you look like. If it bothers them, they don't have to look. Someone out there will love your personality and get who you are. I'm a bit out there ( not in a super weird never speak to again way) and didn't have good friends for awhile because they just never understood me ( and I mean me not just the diabetic part) but I've had a boyfriend who completely understands and found friends who laugh when I make a joke and actually get what I meant. : D   As it turns out for all those people who looked at me funny and ignored me, there's just as many who find my personality fantastic.

Hope you find "your people" soon until then just be you and remember, it's not you that's bothering them, it's them.

I completly agree with her. I mean don't let it DEFINE you cause diabetes is such a small part of who you are, you gotta look at the postiviesn atleast its not type 2! and not a seriouse life threatning dieses. I mean i have my days where i get done but you learn to live with them and move on. i wish you luck but the way you describe yourself is anything what a girl would want to look like all thats coming out is jealousy!.

I can promise you that!


Hannah Mixer

Thank you :) I guess good friends are hard to find, but I've never really looked at it the way all of you have described it. It really did help me out. I know I have to love and accept myself first a lot of people have told me that, but for some reason that's very hard to do. I like the way I'am but it seems like I just can't show it to other people.

Hannah :) thank you but I wouldn't mind gaining a few more pounds haha and Jessica, I really never thought of being a diabetic is a puzzle of who I am it's what makes me me.. Nice I like that :}

I think diabetes does bring out parts of a person you wouldn't see otherwise. It's like, a major component and you have to learn how to balance this major component of your being with all those other parts. And I wouldn't change that wild ugly journey for anything, because I know diabetes can only add to what I already have. It's not like different aspects of a central person are clamoring for space and take over as soon as there's a vacancy ... it's not replacing or taking away from anything else. :)

I’m exactly 13 years old im really shy to i don’t look people in the eye cause when I was a baby I got spina bifada were I can’t walk and have stitches all the way up my back and surgery on my head and I just feel like I’m not pretty enough and I don’t talk a lot in less im only with my family