Sometimes we have to be the ones to understand them, they are ingnorant or, whats another word, umm.. not informed, and they could never feel what we feel even if they took our diet. Its like us with the survivors of the Holocaust, we feel pain for them, but will never fully understand all they went throu. Its sad that ones that we love dont understand, but if we understand them, it will help for things to flow a little easier.
I think that is a wise way to look at it Cesar. That being said, I think the key is also to reduce peoples lack of knowledge by explaining to them the facts/thoughts/feelings
Last night I had a total meltdown in front of my boyfriend, I sat on the floor for 2 hours trying to give myself my insulin before I went to bed. For some reason yesterday was just terrible for me. Of course I'm not afraid of the stupid little needle, I've done a couple hundred times, but last night all I could say was that I didn't want to do this anymore.
Last night was the key point in our relationship since I was diagnosed, I think he really finally saw and understood what this emotionally and physically does to me. I know it will get easier, but keep in mind I haven't even dealt with this for an entire month yet. The first week didn't even seem this difficult because I was with my dad a lot and I had that support, that one person who truly knows what I'm going through.
Though this has caused problems with my boyfriend, we are working things out. But, it's brought me closer to my father in a way I never thought possible since we're already very close.
You all have been major help! Thank you!
Wow. To be honest, even being diabetic I don't think I understand the emotional toll this takes on others.
I've had diabetes for 22 years, since before I could remember. I've never known any different.
We're here for you, Courtney!
The problem is, you can't expect your boyfriend's entire family to change their eating habits because of you. I know it makes you feel bad, but they are not the ones with diabetes. I grew up watching my entire class at school eat cake and ice cream on other kids' birthdays, and I couldn't participate. It sucked. But realistically, I now realize that I couldn't expect the other kids to be deprived just because one single kid in the class had diabetes.
If it bothers you that much, perhaps you should see your boyfriend separately from his family. Get some pamphlets from the American/Canadian/UK/Australia/whatever diabetes association that explains diabetes, or go to the juvenation resource link to get some infromation for him. My boyfriend asked me to get him some books from the library to read so that he could understand my diabetes better, and he also spent some time reading websites that I recommended to him.
Hey there, If it makes you feel any better, I remember not being able to take the injections sometimes too. I would just look at the needle and try to put it in but it was so hard. But I know that the more I thought of it, the worse it got, so I just had to do it. The faster you can just do it the easier it is and eventually (if you can believe it!) it just becomes a regular part of your life like brushing your teeth. Do you know if there are JDRF mentors in your area? It may be worth giving your JDRF office a call. I just became a mentor and get paired up with newly diagnosed diabetics to provide support. It's a great program if they have it there. If not, you may be able to get set up with a mentor over email. I wish I had that when I was diagnosed cause it makes a big difference to have the support of someone who's "been there". That's why this site is so fantastic too! We're all here and rooting for you!
[quote user="rainbow"]
The problem is, you can't expect your boyfriend's entire family to change their eating habits because of you. I know it makes you feel bad, but they are not the ones with diabetes. I grew up watching my entire class at school eat cake and ice cream on other kids' birthdays, and I couldn't participate. It sucked. But realistically, I now realize that I couldn't expect the other kids to be deprived just because one single kid in the class had diabetes.
If it bothers you that much, perhaps you should see your boyfriend separately from his family. Get some pamphlets from the American/Canadian/UK/Australia/whatever diabetes association that explains diabetes, or go to the juvenation resource link to get some infromation for him. My boyfriend asked me to get him some books from the library to read so that he could understand my diabetes better, and he also spent some time reading websites that I recommended to him.
[/quote]
I'm not expecting or asking them to change anything, the only thing that I asked was to save whatever packaging that his mother has so that it is easier for me.
[quote user="Josie"]
Hey there, If it makes you feel any better, I remember not being able to take the injections sometimes too. I would just look at the needle and try to put it in but it was so hard. But I know that the more I thought of it, the worse it got, so I just had to do it. The faster you can just do it the easier it is and eventually (if you can believe it!) it just becomes a regular part of your life like brushing your teeth. Do you know if there are JDRF mentors in your area? It may be worth giving your JDRF office a call. I just became a mentor and get paired up with newly diagnosed diabetics to provide support. It's a great program if they have it there. If not, you may be able to get set up with a mentor over email. I wish I had that when I was diagnosed cause it makes a big difference to have the support of someone who's "been there". That's why this site is so fantastic too! We're all here and rooting for you!
[/quote]
I'm not sure if they do that here, I think that I came across something that said they did. But I also have my father and cousin who are diabetic who are a big help. But I guess I wish that there was someone my age that I could talk to about stuff like dealing with all this during school and such.
Hey Courtney, you've got even better here on Juvenation... you've got people of ALL ages! I know it's not quite the same as talking in person, but we're all here for ya!
My boyfriend also has type1, has been for about 5 years, me 2 years ~ but we understand each other so well, we have a connection that's different than most couples have =]
You are a very lucky girl indeed, Cheergirl! Did you meet through some kind of event having to do with D or was it a complete fluke?
[quote user="cheergirl"]
My boyfriend also has type1, has been for about 5 years, me 2 years ~ but we understand each other so well, we have a connection that's different than most couples have =]
[/quote]
Wow, that's actually pretty cool.
try asking him if he had a choice between 3 flu shots per day or the regular 1, if they had the same end result, what would he choose? explain to him that you MUST take the 3 flu shots a day option. thats how ive explained to others the diference between a pump and shots: 3 per day with shots, one every 3 days with the pump
hope this helps
try asking him if he had a choice between 3 flu shots per day or the regular 1, if they had the same end result, what would he choose? explain to him that you MUST take the 3 flu shots a day option. thats how ive explained to others the diference between a pump and shots: 3 per day with shots, one every 3 days with the pump
hope this helps
Courtney,
If he pressures you and you don't want to have the cake. You need to just explain it to him right away. Just say no thanks my blood sugar is running a bit high and having cake right now isn't the best choice. Or you can just say no thanks I am really full maybe a bit later?
Maybe you can have him go to a doctors appointment with you so he can understand what is going on better? You need to figure out things right now and yea you can cover the cake with insulin but, you don't feel comfortable doing that just yet. We have all been there. You are scared and its understandable.
When I was first diagnosed I didn't eat anything sugar related for over a year. Only things that were good for me all the time. I wouldn't even think of having a piece of cake either.
I hope it works out for you let us know what happens!
[quote user="Gina"]
Courtney,
If he pressures you and you don't want to have the cake. You need to just explain it to him right away. Just say no thanks my blood sugar is running a bit high and having cake right now isn't the best choice. Or you can just say no thanks I am really full maybe a bit later?
Maybe you can have him go to a doctors appointment with you so he can understand what is going on better? You need to figure out things right now and yea you can cover the cake with insulin but, you don't feel comfortable doing that just yet. We have all been there. You are scared and its understandable.
When I was first diagnosed I didn't eat anything sugar related for over a year. Only things that were good for me all the time. I wouldn't even think of having a piece of cake either.
I hope it works out for you let us know what happens!
[/quote]
Well it's been over a month now and I have been doing amazing!
I have better control over my diabetes than my dad who's been doing it for almost 20 years now.
I haven't changed anything that I eat, just the times that I eat.
And, my boyfriend has become even more supportive than my own parents.
That is fabulous news, Courtney!!! Great to hear!
Courtney,
I think that it would be a good idea to have him come with you... i think you prolly already did, but i'm a little late in responding. :) I have had good ole diabetes for 11 years now, and I am dating a non-diabetic.... He tells me all the time that thats what made him fall in love with me...meaning he loves me having diabetes... lol.... I am normally a very out there person when it comes to diabetes, I will talk to anyone about any aspect of it...and i have beed through just about everything.. but when it came to him seeing the site and having to wait for me while eating so I can do a check and give insulin ( i have a pump now ) i felt self conscious... Now my boyfriend is completely terrified of needles... but about a month ago, he came up to me when i said i had to change my site, and he goes "can i do it for you" i almost started to cry, because I knew that at this moment he is 100% there for me, and I know that I can believe him when he says that he loves that about me now. So i let him, he filled the vile, prepped my pump, and with my guided help inserted the tube into me. After he just says thank you, and i'm sorry you have to live with this, but I will be here to help you as much as I can.
Another quick thing, is that I know you are a newly diagnosed, but have you considered the pump? It makes it a little easier to live a "normal" life and you will be able to snack more freely. Also being in college myself, its much easier to have not so much scheduled lunchs, knowing i can sneak a grandola bar in here and there and just push buttons. let me know if you have any other personal questions... i would love to talk. good luck with everything!
Julie
[quote user="Courtney"]
Well it's been over a month now and I have been doing amazing!
I have better control over my diabetes than my dad who's been doing it for almost 20 years now.
I haven't changed anything that I eat, just the times that I eat.
And, my boyfriend has become even more supportive than my own parents.
[/quote]
Hi Courtney !
I just came across this thread, so I decided to put my opinion here...
It seems like your boyfriend need a cold shower (not directly, but in form of new knowledge)... So next time he forces you to eat something, do following. Calculate how much you need, take insulin and take it before his eyes, so that he can see, that it is not so easy for you to just take a cake and run with it... <grin>
When we type 1 diabetics had meeting last time, we also had lunch together, followed by desert, friend of mine said, for every such desert that I don't exactly know what it is, I take insulin as for 30 g CH. It isn't exact, but at least you will cover most of CH in your desert...
Take care,
Andy