Addicted to EVERYTHING BAD FOR ME

General
21

Hey Nicole,

Isn't this a great site?

Your situation sounds very similar to one that I've been dealing with for the 13 years I've been in the diabriar patch. Granted, I just didn't want to take insulin or have to check my blood sugar, or basically be diabetic anymore, but the control just wasn't there. For me, it was a sense of freedom from the disease, something that I could control within my own life-- a life that I felt spiraling out of control. I refused and refused. My health gradually got worse and my mental health got even worse, but I still held that I was in control of my life because I was making a choice. Existentially, this was correct, and I had taken that great "leap of faith" hoping that I would last long enough to move passed it naturally. But, let's be honest: I wasn't in control, I wasn't healthy, and I certainly had no bearing on the reality of the situation. My subjective reality had become one of intolerance, depression, and declining faculties in every facet of my life. So, I would say, just start climbing. Make little adjustments. When I realized that either I could feel like crap all the time and wind into an unalterable psychosis, or do a few things a day to make me feel better, healthier, and gain confidence in myself, I chose the latter. And it's not even about giving up freedom to become diabetic again, it is about having the freedom from the vices that diabetes mismanagement can produce. With a disease like ours, one that takes up a lot of energy and time, it is easy to forget that being healthy and alive is still a viable option. You just need to make the choice to follow yourself, and no one else, through that door. It might be a lot to test your blood sugar as often as people would like at first, especially with a long period of inactivity on that front. I know that it was for me. But, I started testing more regularly, eventually working my way up to acceptable numbers of tests per day, tests that ultimately made me feel better and broke me out of bad habits.

You can do it. So do it.

 

22

i'm pretty sure it doesn't go away :( but it won't be bad all the time for me it usually only hurts when its muggy out

23

Thank you Keith! I have been taking it all day today. =] I'm going to try super hard to stick with it.

I'm always down for new friends!

24

This is awesome. I love hearing everybody's thoughts and experiences. It all helps! =]

25

[quote user="Nicole"]

Thank you Keith! I have been taking it all day today. =] I'm going to try super hard to stick with it.

I'm always down for new friends!

[/quote]

That's good Nicole. We would like to have you around a while. Oh, request on the way.!!

 

26

Last night I went to the movies with a friend and I hate a whole bowl of popcorn and malted milk balls!  I kept testing and taking insulin though... So it never got too out of hand...

27

That sounds like something I could do. =]

28

my doctors have told me once you've hid a certain point there's no fixing what you've already ruined. i think they usually say 10 years out of control youre a lost cause. but honestly i eat what i want to but i take the insulin for it, ill go through phases where i want to eat a bag of candy and hot damn i do it. i never drink regular soda because honestly it makes me sick, i dont like sweets all the time cuz once you take care of yourself so much sugar just makes you wanna vomit, i can't eat cake or pie because after 2 bites im done. honestly not taking care of yourself is that worst thing you can do for you body. my best advice, eat what you want but take care of it. get your sugars in level its noone's fault but your own for not taking it... like i tell my sister (who doesnt do a think about it and has 2 small children) youre responsible if anything bad happens to you. the only one who can help you is you... youre probably just going through a phase. itll go away, if it doesnt, make it.

 

best of luck! keep us posted.

(hopefully i didnt come off as a rag. but i do know what its like and i do know i feel so much better when i take care of myself, i sleep better i feel better im not cranky)

29

honestly were all here to help.

im sure we could all help you with you BS's and help you decide how much insulin you should take. ecspecially with what you eat... go off of the carbs not the sugar, carbs process into sugar faster. when i eat usually its either 1 unit for every 10 carbs, at dinner its 1 unit for every 12. it was 1 unit for every 8 carbs. the more regular your sugars get the better youll feel and youll know when its high, for example i pee..... alot. and its very rare im high anymore (im on the pump now) when im low, i get clammy and shakey and i feel dizzy. real dizzy. they have this calorie counter book at stores, you should pick it up, it has everything you eat in there and tells you how many carbs, its great. just take care of yourself. it takes 21 days to start a habit, in 21 days taking shots and checking your sugars wont even phase you.. set a goal... buy yourself something if you do a good job for a month.

30

Hey Nicole,

A little idea, How about posting your bs on the thread in forums?

31

Like Susan and others have said on here, I can relate. I also think that it's the highs that kick the cravings into gear. They are fierce. And merciless. I have cramping in my legs from sudden drops...and sometimes just pain...but I have bursitis...eh. I think it's nerve pain, too. In general, though, I seem to hurt physically everywhere when the levels are high on a chronic and severe basis. If I run into something and the levels are fine, it may hurt a bit, but the pain isn't excruciating. If I do the same thing and the levels are severe and high, talk about pain. It hurts.

The solution for me was to just attend to the Requirements of Existence. Sigh. No one said it had to be perfect. Thank goodness for that...because it's hard enough. When I get stable and stay stable, I feel like a human being rather than a walking blood sugar issue. My fiance just told me that I should stop typing because I am long-winded. He's right. Well. Good luck for your levels. You really will feel better in every sense of the word. It's amazing. Take care of you...you're the only person on the planet who is you, you know?

32

Liz, Great advice! You totally aren't being a rag. =] I need people to be hard on me... it makes it sink in.

 

Keith, I will try. =]

33

Hi Nicole, I need to start by saying that I didn't read all of everyone's posts.  I pretty much eat anything I want and don't exercise, as a result, I weigh about 30 pounds too much.  What I also have is an A1C usually below 6, and always (at least for the past 6-8 years) below 6.3.  What I do is test and take insulin for everything I eat.  I think part of me is just lucky, but testing and compensating works.  My husband does the same thing with less success.  It isn't foolproof, but it helps.  My theory is, I can do what ever I want, eat whatever I want, as long as I test and compensate.  Test and compensate, test and compensate....

Good luck!

AND!!! I am surprised to see people that I don't see on anyother forum on here!  Nice to see you all!

34

[quote user="Nicole"]

Is nuropothy something that goes away?

[/quote]

Some times it does some times it dosen't It might depend on how often it hurts and how old you are

35

I didn't read through all the replies, so someone may have already mentioned this. I read that after consuming sugar substitutes for an extended time can cause a person to crave sweet things even more than they normally would. I went through the same experience where all I craved was sugary or sweet foods. After evaluating my diet, I realized I was drinking a ton of diet soda and iced tea (all packed with sugar substitutes), using a lot of splenda, and eating other "sugar-free" things. Once I cut back, I noticed I craved much less sugar and more healthy foods. Hope this helps!

36

Crochet Nut...eat a banana or something else high in potassium when you get leg cramps after a low.  I can't remember the exact explanation, but I know I did the research at one point and found out that recovering from a low blood sugar uses a lot of potassium.  When the body is deficient in potassium, one of the symptoms is leg cramps.  Hope it helps. :)

Molly

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Nicole and everyone else who posted,

First of all, I'd just like to say that I absolutely love your honesty.  I've participated in quite a few message boards relating to Type 1 Diabetes and pumping, and I always felt like an oddball, like I was in less control and had a harder time staying in control than everyone else.  Reading these posts just made me feel so good, because I finally feel like someone (well, lots of you, actually..) understands what it's like!  I try to avoid super sugarey stuff like regular soda, but do I always? hell no.  I've had this disease for 20 years.  Do people really expect me to never want need ice cream and chocolate? ;)  I mean, we are human after all.

I also share your rebellious spirit Nicole.  I've been fighting with doctors and dietitians for years.  It just feels like they never believe that I care about myself.  I've always cared about myself, but I guess they expect me to be this perfect example of what a T1 should be...never eating carbs, testing obsessively, and that's never been me.  I always got the feeling that they thought they could do it better than I could if they had to.  In reality, they definitely couldn't, and have no idea what it's like. 

I guess for a few years as a young teenager I wasn't taking the best care of myself.  I would eat, not bolus, I'd test later and be like 500 or HI (you ALL know what I'm talking about.. ;) then just correct.    I also sort of blame this on not having the correct carb ratios in my pump, but I digress.. I'd leave my pumpsites in for way too long too.  I'd go to the doctor and give them attitude because I felt like they didn't respect, understand, or really care about me.  A few years and doctors later, I've come to realize that all this rebelling was hurting instead of helping me.  I pictured myself in the future.  I pictured myself with complications, wheelchair bound or worse.  I didn't want that.  I'm much too independent to be able to be happy that way.  I couldn't stand the thought of being dependent on other people for things, and there's too many things I want and need to do.  I know it's horrible and morbid, but whenever I'm being lazy and don't feel like taking insulin or testing, I think of that, and then I do what I need to do to make sure that I'll be able to enjoy my life when I'm older.  I'm not saying this to upset you, but having some sort of motivation can be helpful.

Oh, and about the regular soda...sometimes when I get fountain soda I'll get diet and add a little splash of regular to it.  It takes the bitterness away and is way less carbs than having all regular.  Also, have you tried Coke Zero or Pepsi Max?  They're both really good.  Try weaning yourself off regular by mixing half diet and half regular, then eventually adding less and less regular lol.

Molly

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omg sorry for writing so much...I didn't even realize how big that was until I posted it lol!